2024 DECLUTTERING CAMPAIGN MrsSD

GrannyKate

Morning all.  Dishwasher engineer just rang to say my appointment is booked between 10 and 1.  They had insisted I had to be in all day.  Let's hope it gets done as fed up with washing up.  Shame I don't live near Weenancy as I have decided to get a cat when I am moved and settled.  We had several dogs and cats (rescue mostly) but have not had any for some years.  I could give a good home perhaps to two older cats who want to be together.  It is on my new home list and safety for a pet is included in my search criteria.  Sorted through a couple of kitchen drawers and cupboards including wiping out crumbs and a quick wash.  I have lots of paperwork to do this week.  

691-693 Items from the 'children's kitchen drawer' thrown away - damaged plastic plates etc.  Random drinks lid. 
694 Flour and cooking cupboard tidied and cleaned - DS2 is making a determined effort to use up any cooking ingredients he finds. I am forbidden to replace them so found myself without any pasta the other day and had to send DGD out to get some as they wanted it for tea.  

DS2 left early to charge his electric van as it won't work on my charger.  He's not come back so it looks like the charger on my wall is faulty not the van or cables.  It belongs to his work so they can come and fix it.  In fact he'll probably have to fix it himself. 

I took myself swimming yesterday so gave my new costume an outing.  Pool filter changed but I need to get some chlorine tablets.  May take myself out after engineer has been.  DS2 has an action plan for stuff oldest grandson bought back from uni - far more than he took.  Kitchen stuff all going through dishwasher then boxed up for September. 

butterfly2507

(18) more pics from my phone over 20 are gone in one go and i'm happy about it

QueenJess

daisy_1571 said:
Queen jess.  My suggestion re your parents- thank them at the door, say how wonderful it is to receive this stuff. Put the bags in your bedroom and close the door so the kids don't rake through it and start wanting stuff. (perhaps meet them in the drive and put it straight from their car into your boot.  Tell them you find it easier to sort it there before the kids drag it all over the house.)  Once they are away home again and the kids are at school get the bags out to the car boot (if they aren't there already), have a quick rummage through just to see what categories it comes into, pop anything appropriate straight into your bucket and recycling (as I assume your car will be near your buckets) and take the rest to the charity.  Its your stuff, your parents are happy to get it out their house, you are helping them by taking it in dribs and drabs rather than clearing whole attic in a oner if they downsize however..... you didn't have it in your house before, therefore you don't need to accommodate 30 more books etc just because they wanted to keep them. 

Dont stress, get in front of it by planning for this to happen the day after they go (since you know they always bring stuff), dont accommodate the stuff, dont sort it, dont think about it, just know its going to bounce into your home briefly and bounce straight back out.  Easiest half hour ever.

Then at some point maybe get into their attic and have a look yourself.  If you can clear anything straight from there it makes everyone's life easier saving them carrying things down stairs and out to their car.  It might be a kindness to them, saving them stressing and trying to manage it.  These things aren't as stressful when you are young, they had great intentions in keeping this stuff but maybe now its a source of stress to them even if they aren't com8ng out and saying that.

Thanks for your really detailed reply, but I have tried so many things and it never works.  I would never say how wonderful it is to receive the stuff as they would then interpret that as me wanting more, although ironically when I say I want less they don't listen.  I can't stop the kids going to the door as they are excited they have arrived and they know they come with things for them that they go straight to.  Plus my parents like to give it to them themselves.

After hearing they had My Little Ponies and I told them DD will never be interested, I thought I'd saved myself a box of toys there.  Nope.  They said they listened, but brought one up to see if DD would be interested in it anyway.  Now I can't take it away as DD has seen it, even thought she is completely disinterested.  Now I have to go through the rigmarole of waiting for a certain amount of time, asking DD and then hopefully getting rid of it.  Then I can tell my parents she isn't interested.

The problem is that my parents kept all of my and my sisters toys, but then continue to buy my kids stuff anyway.  This means that they will have more than 2 kids of toys stuff between them (given we buy Xmas/birthday presents and so will other family).  Even if they liked all of it, it's really overwhelming and just too much.  They play better with fewer things and I'm less stressed.  DD only reads the same 10 books every day for example.  Even the toys I had as a child is a bit much for one child and really my kids are individuals and like different things.  Just because I liked something as a child doesn't mean my kids will.

Sorry - random rant and wasn't aimed at you.  Your suggestions were brilliant, but whatever I try my parents just don't listen.  I will keep trying though and any single toy that doesn't come my way I will mark as a win.  I did manage to secrete away a puzzle yesterday before DD had really registered it in the pile.  It was one I told my parents NOT to bring because she wouldn't be interested in it.  Clearly they took no notice.

To be fair to DS, he went through all his books and got rid of a pile to make sure the new ones all fitted on the shelves.  In the past he's even told my sister not to bring anything with her anymore as he doesn't want anything.

daisy_1571

I hear you.  I know they don't listen whether you say you want it or you don't lol, that was why I thought it didn't matter hahaha.  Sorry, I see what you mean.  If they keep buying new as well, then perhaps the best bet is to go to source.   It was your childhood toys so go, separate into yours and your sisters.   Label your sisters clearly in boxes with her name and tell them you don't want to ever see it appearing at yours.  Take all your toys and books away in a oner and straight to charity/tip.  Maybe a big job, but done once saving you this hassle every time.  In some ways I feel the dread of them appearing is worse for you than the dealing with? 

Other than that I'm out of suggestions (you'll be pleased to hear) but have some virtual hugs and hopefully it will end at some point 

Dxxxx

Florenceem

Mrs SD - sorry to hear of your mishap.
I didn't post yesterday - we were at Church in the morning and I stayed behind to lock up so my friend could go home.
I had a phone chat with eldest Dd in the afternoon.
It was a lazy day but I did make 2 tuna quiches when preparing dinner - 3 day's meals are in the freezer.
Dgd in Australia has an issue about her flight home - the airline she booked to go and return on - who she paid but didn't use - are saying that she doesn't have a seat booked on Wednesday.
This morning we are off to see the Doctor - it is 5 weeks today that Mr F had the ultrasound that found a pleural effusion. Hopefully tests results are back now.

vulpix

Hi,

 Glad to hear that you both and the bike are ok Mrs SD. 

 Admirable that you want to take on a couple of older cats GrannyKate. I've got 2 you can have with pleasure! They are about 5 now and so set in their ways, we are total servants to their routine! The rescue said they had to come together as they had been rescued from the same place. Turns out Fluffy hates Fomo. The poor big lump can't even walk past without being hissed at. 
 I have had a couple of older cats from the rescue, they give so much. One was a poorly stray black and white Tom.Called him Corky, took him to the vet and he said he was about 5, took him the next week and a different vet said he was about 10, fed him up, had loads of vet care and the rescue phoned and said his owners had called and would like him back. He was actually 21 and called Sambo! The other was a glorious ginger Tom who's owner had gone in a home, he came with a letter telling us all about him. I used to write to the family and tell them all about his new life in the country. He used to live in a bungalow and never attempted to go upstairs. He could however open the fridge and window catches.

 I got the office out yesterday. It is a small plastic A4 box with a lid. As letters arrive they are shoved on the top of it. I put letters into their relevant folder and chucked a pile of paperwork in the recycling. Mr V is going through it now, and sorting all the paper work from his Mum's estate. I am expecting another pile of paper work to be ousted.

 I tried on another load of trousers in the next size down, almost fit so I will start shortening them.

Today's plan is to get in the garden, I am so pleased with how it is maturing, The back garden is 2 years old and the gravel garden is only a year old. There is very little actual gardening needed, it's more sweeping up and cutting stuff back. I have decided that I will have to pay someone to help me lay the patio on the top garden. I think my hod carrying and building days may be over. I am ready to go but Fomo is asleep on me. Can't disturb him!

 Vx

QueenJess

daisy_1571 said:

I hear you.  I know they don't listen whether you say you want it or you don't lol, that was why I thought it didn't matter hahaha.  Sorry, I see what you mean.  If they keep buying new as well, then perhaps the best bet is to go to source.   It was your childhood toys so go, separate into yours and your sisters.   Label your sisters clearly in boxes with her name and tell them you don't want to ever see it appearing at yours.  Take all your toys and books away in a oner and straight to charity/tip.  Maybe a big job, but done once saving you this hassle every time.  In some ways I feel the dread of them appearing is worse for you than the dealing with? 

Other than that I'm out of suggestions (you'll be pleased to hear) but have some virtual hugs and hopefully it will end at some point 

Dxxxx

The toys are mixed up, I can't remember which ones were which and my sister doesn't want anything.  I also refuse to drive 4 hours to go through their stuff and I'm not sure I'd find a way to explain that.  I'm just going to have to keep trying to tell them we don't want anything and hope they eventually listen.  The problem is that they are from the age of keeping everything because they had nothing growing up and don't understand I just don't need all this stuff and nor do I want it.

I also cringe when my parents say they kept the "girly" toys for DD.  The world's moved on and although they are liberally minded re: things like people changing gender etc, they still seem to be ingrained with girls toys and boys toys.  I'm more of the mind to let them play with what they want and what they are interested in.

You're right and it does stress me out.  I dread them coming to visit now and it really shouldn't be like that.  I keep trying to tell them things subtly so they can start to understand.  I was telling them about Buy Nothing and the things we've got and the types of things they have on there.  I think we are in a relatively rich area of the country and so there is really quite a lot of good stuff on there.  I was also telling them again about DD having to wear uniform for nursery and so she can only wear her own clothes at the weekends.  Again... another subtle clue for not buying too many clothes and they are getting better on that bit.  I guess I just have to keep trying.

-taff

Or just tell them you get rid of what they give you, so if they can donate to a better place that will keep them, like a womens refuge or similar, that would be better. Hinting doesn't work with some people, nor subtlety, so you'll have to stress that you're not getting rid of it because you are being ungrateful, you have no room for it and you don't want your kids growing up having everything in case it affects them negatively...or something....

Floss

@QueenJess I'm with Taff on this - keep repeating that your children do not need anything more, and would like it all to go to children who don't have anything. Hopefully the feeling of giving to grateful recipients will outweigh the need to pass it all onto you & your children.

I do get that your parents are of the keep-it generation. Mine were too to a point (we moved house when I was 11 so a lot of baby / kiddy stuff went then) but were local enough to have their loft emptied by us 4 siblings to get rid of a lot of family tat.

I would suggest maybe giving some thought to spending a weekend at their home with your sister, on the pretence of "emptying the loft for safety reasons" and getting all the stuff out & away before the time comes when it needs to be done for a house sale. It may also help your parents by reducing the worry over emptying it.

Wednesday2000

The Taylor Swift concert was so good, although the constant screaming of the girls there did grate after more than 3 hours! So many women and girls there were wearing white cowboy boots like me. I'm not sure my husband enjoyed it as much as me, to be fair. We went into Boxpark beforehand to get some lunch and the girls were screaming along to Taylor Swift songs that were playing there so we hastily got a takeaway.

I did have one unfortunate incident as I got to our seats and realised there was no handrail in front of our seats and panicked as I have vertigo. I have been to Wembley last year even more high up, but for some reason I could not make myself walk to my seat. We went back outside and asked the usher what to do. My husband went and asked the whole row to move up two seats so I could sit in front of the handrail. They did, which was very nice of them!

It is very hot back in Essex. I have just done a load of laundry and am drying it outside.

I am thinking about what to declutter this week as it is meant to be very hot the next few days so I won't be going out apart from in the early morning.