Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay more towards my partner's bills than my own?

marilyn59

I think you may have to consider your relationship first before committing to any financial agreements. Because this should be a no brained 50/59 split in you are a partnership. 

OptimisticAbby

What about taking over some of the household bills entirely? Energy bills, water, TV licence etc. If giving money directly to your partner irks you, this might feel better. 

[Deleted User]

I know money is tight for a lot of us at the moment, but It doesn’t look good for this relationship if you are already disagreeing over money and you haven’t moved in yet.   

Maybe you are just not ready to move in with her.

john_evmk

There are many different ways to skin a potato - up, down, left, right or even just leave the skin on! There are many different ways to split the household finances - just look at the considerable amount of feedback there is on this forum. The most important thing for your relationship is compromise - find a way that satisfies both of you. This applies to almost everything else that you will share - the colour of the carpets, the design of the curtains, the choice of paint, is it matt or silk finish, what plants are going in the garden, how should the lawn be cut, what temperature should the heating be set at, which side of the bed do you sleep, what programmes do you watch (always the The Martin Lewis Money Show of course) - I can go on but you get the picture.

Ultimately, if you don't compromise (that's both of you), your relationship will be compromised!

honestcove

I view the interest component of a mortgage as a proxy for rent, so as long as “sharing the mortgage” doesn’t include capital contributions to repay the debt then I think the split is fair, especially as the property is not mortgaged to its full value I.e. the proxy rent is less than full market value.

Justdontwasteit

We had much the same situation during lockdown and I worked out partner’s day to day energy and food etc at £10 per day, which worked for both of us, so add a bit for inflation since. He still had boat mooring etc costs ongoing. As lockdowns dragged on we agreed a bit extra for household ‘wear and tear’, he paid £500 which I put towards replacing my very old washer dryer. I like to keep my finances and property separate, but it’s what works for both of you, attitudes vary. If we had kids and I lost income whilst caring, no doubt would organise things very differently. 

Spendless

Your partner is nuts if she's going to take money that will go towards paying her own mortgage as she's leaving herself wide open that in the event of a split you could take it to court and claim you've gained an interest (you might not succeed but it's not guaranteed that you wouldn't  as each case is judged on its own merit- all this was explained to me by my solicitor when I bought a house alone as a single person and queried what would happen if I was later to move in a live in boyf). Gf benefits anyway if you move in and start sharing bills 50/50 because most bills don't double just because there's an additional person there. If it's going to be that you are getting to live there cheaper then you pay for certain  things eg you pay 100% grocery shopping or for date nights etc. 

SkippyTheKangaroo67

Have you thought about getting married and sharing everything?

AgeingHippytoo

£550 a month all in doesn’t seem excessive. Effectively you are paying £200 a month rent for the run of the house I assume. I would be surprised if you could rent a room in a house for much less than £550 a month including bills. 

petewitte

I think that you should not pay towards her mortgage as that is her debt , unless you intend on living there full time and this is going to be your forever partner.
i would question what she is after