Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay more towards my partner's bills than my own?

keithyno.1

Here's an idea - split all the household bills (food shopping, utilities, council tax etc) 50/50 APART from her mortgage payments which she'll continue to pay in full as it's her house and her mortgage.

But maybe give her a bit extra on top of that as rent. That's what you'd have to do if you were moving in with her on a purely house share basis.

But if you can't come to an agreement on this without one party feeling slightly aggrieved about it, I'm not sure it's really a good idea to be moving in together because it doesn't sound like it will end well. Maybe stick to your current arrangements and enjoy sleep-overs at each others whilst each of you retains your independence.

Xenophon

You say you both want to live in her house so I take it you are more than willing, so I suppose you will have to follow her rules, as it's her property. If you don't want that, you feel pressured in to moving in and paying half, best stay as you are, otherwise go with it.

Ruthcarter

50% bills. You do 50% housework. You always put the toilet seat down. You put the bins out every other time and replenish the toilet roll before it runs out. You don't take the last towel. 

Do you pay towards her mortgage?  Up to you, but as you are not moving your boat around every couple of weeks you are saving on fuel. And you don't have to empty your septic tank as you have running water to flush the toilet properly. And the washing machine.... Is that new to you to use without a launderette? And I guess she paid for the bed and sheets? 

You could Air BnB your boat for extra income.

Frankly, if you are not wanting to contribute and you are able to raise funds through renting out your boat, then imho you have doubts about relationship. 

My advice, find someone you are willing to share your life (and finances) with. 

hill_ekaterina

You couldn’t pay me £350 to live on a narrowboat rather than a house so I think it’s totally fair to offer to pay half her costs.

Just_An_Opinion

It sounds like you want to live rent free. Yes you should pay half the bills (£350) but why do you think you shouldn't pay towards the house (full £550)?
You wouldn't rent a property and complain you're paying someone else's mortgage and only pay the bills. You are paying for the privilege of living in a house.

If you don't want to live in a house and pay for it then don't move in.... its pretty simple.

[Deleted User]

I think it is reasonable that you pay rent, but not that you pay the same as your girlfriend, as she's getting a home and investing in a property to benefit later, you're only renting.  It isn't reasonable that, unless you are able to let out your boat to cover your rent, your expenses through moving in together will increase and those of your girlfriend  decrease. 

Just_An_Opinion

What happens with your home/boat? Are you selling it and keeping the profit?
 If you move in with your girlfriend are you letting out your home for a fee or allowing someone to live in it for free if they pay the bills?

I think what she's asking is perfectly acceptable and if you're disagreeing over something as simple as this and not seeing her point of view then maybe it's best you don't move in as you will need your own home in a few months by the sound of it

Just_An_Opinion

iclayt said:

If I was your gf I would think you should pay half for everything you will use/ benefit from so utilities, CT, internet, TV and streaming services, food and household supplies, and contents insurance if your items will be covered. I personally wouldn't expect you to pay towards the mortgage or building insurance.

If you moved in and there was a major repair needed requiring an unexpected sum (cover from insurance aside), would she expect you to contribute to that, and if so, would you be happy to? If the answer is no perhaps it's better not to rock the boat, so to speak, and stay where you are.

So he lives there rent free as a room let rather than paying half the bills?
He wouldn't just pay bills if he rented a property, why should he only pay bills here?

Just_An_Opinion

Just_An_Opinion said:

iclayt said:

If I was your gf I would think you should pay half for everything you will use/ benefit from so utilities, CT, internet, TV and streaming services, food and household supplies, and contents insurance if your items will be covered. I personally wouldn't expect you to pay towards the mortgage or building insurance.

If you moved in and there was a major repair needed requiring an unexpected sum (cover from insurance aside), would she expect you to contribute to that, and if so, would you be happy to? If the answer is no perhaps it's better not to rock the boat, so to speak, and stay where you are.

So he lives there rent free as a room let rather than paying half the bills?
He wouldn't just pay bills if he rented a property, why should he only pay bills here?

If they rented a property together would he only pay half the bills and not the rent?
The Mortgage is one of the bills. If he is being petulant about that then maybe sign onto the mortgage, but why should he live in a property for free?
If we go to the extremes and her mortgage was £100 a month for a small flat or £10,000 a month for a beautiful upgrade to his Narrowboat would he still not expect to pay?

Bonnypitlad

Is it feasible to invite your partner to live with you on the boat?
She pays for the majority of food only, and benefits by renting her house to pay mortgage and associated costs 
It demonstrates your magnanimity 
You both retain your properties in the event the relationship breaks down
I believe the majority of relationships do breakdown?
My assets were far greater than my wife’s when we married, the calculation never entered my head. I was never disappointed