Prosperous & Creative Soul & MFW Year 3

TallGirl

Really interesting to read about the wedding photos. I have got mine too in the loft but I need to go through stuff and reduce it to save on shipping costs. It is hard as you say some people have still passed on but then again do you want to hang on it it. Maybe easier if there is no new partner and at least you have kids who might one them one day or what about your ex would he like the ones of his family? Really hard one I would be inclined to hand onto them if it is just one album not huge wall hung pictures. 

Sounds like a lot of work packing the pictures up but you have to be careful and it is nice they are giving you joy looking at them. 

savingholmes

Hi KK and TG

I never had huge wedding pictures. The biggest I ever had out was 8x10. I'd want to keep them for the kids - and they can decide what to do with them when I'm gone - but there are photos of people there all easily in one place - that you have to search through years worth of photos to get otherwise. 3 of the kid's great grandparents on Ex's side, their grandfather, my cousin, my aunt and no doubt others if I studied the photos carefully. 

I made some art last night before I went to bed - light relief - and then printed what I'd used as a palette into my journal and it came out beautifully. I then had the best night's sleep I'd had in a while. I have left the heating on full time currently just turning it down to 18 overnight as a gift to myself.

It's surreal to think in 11 days I could be leaving this house for good and having a fresh start elsewhere. It will be super weird when I get the chunk of equity from this house into my bank account. I'm debating sending the pension uplift form now rather than waiting until closer to April as I was planning to have slightly over a full year EF but given I can't protect all of that from tax in an ISA perhaps that's unnecessary. If something were to happen with my job - I'd have some notice - and could amend my pension contributions at that point - or review when I'm closer to needing a new car in practice - and around the remortgage point.

I can be vulnerable to pressure from others over money too - and it feels like it would be safer if more of it was locked away. My ISA account I can only take out 10% without sacrificing the fixed interest rate so that is useful barrier. I'll discuss that more with my counsellor tonight. The person I'm returning the £4K to - directly asked how much I'd have which I stupidly answered. They then hinted they'd like a big loan for work on their house but I really want to hold that boundary and keep saying no if it comes up again as that would cause me uncertainty and stress. I'm recording it here (and in my journal) as a double message to myself - don't do it!! I said no at the time which I was proud of myself for and said I had my own work on the house to do and was feeding a lot of £ into my pension. I said I'd gift them back what they originally gave me which I had already budgeted for. Another close relative who isn't in debt directly asked for £ too albeit in a joking if entitled manner to which I also said no - and gave the pension explanation. Families!

Given that a lot of that has happened in the last 10 days - perhaps it's not surprising I've been carrying extra stress!

Best get dressed and start work now or there won't be a pension to pay into!!

beanielou

savingholmes said:

beanielou said:

I don't have my wedding album!

What struck me was how young and hopeful we were. Plus the people in the photos particularly on his side who had since died. I have too much of a history background to destroy the album but my kids aren't very sentimental so maybe one day they will. That day has my best photo ever of me and my dad... 

We were just young
As you say sobering how many people no longer with us. 

Sobering to think I am nearly the oldest generation now. 

savingholmes

I've asked my boss if I can have two days to use flexibly this week and next to cover my hours from my annual leave and thankfully she said yes. I struggling to focus today so taking a beak now and see if it improves later. 

My buyer has asked to come and do some measuring on Sunday - which is a pain - and means ideally I need to restore some semblance of order even while I'm packing!! Every room is chaotic currently which is probably adding to the overwhelm. I've got a load of washing on. 

I need to unpack and then pack the dishwasher. I need to continue to wrap canvases. I keep finding more (both used and unused which given I've continued to make art for stress relief during this period is perhaps unsurprising.

enthusiasticsaver

Well done for staying strong and resisting pressure from family to lend them money.  Paying back a family member is fair enough but presumably until you settle in you won't know what needs doing.  From experience moving house is expensive so keeping some back for yourself is essential.  The ISA sounds sensible for some of it though.  Exciting times  for you. 

badmemory

Your buyers property will be similar to yours.  Part of the measuring up will be to see if they can manage for now with things they already own (or should they bin them).  At least they can see you are actually going to move!

savingholmes

beanielou said:

What struck me was how young and hopeful we were. Plus the people in the photos particularly on his side who had since died. I have too much of a history background to destroy the album but my kids aren't very sentimental so maybe one day they will. That day has my best photo ever of me and my dad... 

We were just young
As you say sobering how many people no longer with us. 

Sobering to think I am nearly the oldest generation now. 

Thanks Beanie. I think it is a good reminder to make the most of the time we have left. To design our lives and not just try to survive. Somehow learn to thrive despite adversity.

enthusiasticsaver said:

Well done for staying strong and resisting pressure from family to lend them money.  Paying back a family member is fair enough but presumably until you settle in you won't know what needs doing.  From experience moving house is expensive so keeping some back for yourself is essential.  The ISA sounds sensible for some of it though.  Exciting times  for you. 

Thanks ES. Yes I've earmarked £10-12K to spend on the house and furniture if needed but would prefer not to spend it. I'm thinking possiblenew bed, guttering and fascia boards, bifold doors to replace damaged patio doors, some electrics, flooring in hall and lounge etc.

badmemory said:

Your buyers property will be similar to yours.  Part of the measuring up will be to see if they can manage for now with things they already own (or should they bin them).  At least they can see you are actually going to move!

Yes BM. I need to try and relax about it - nevertheless for my own mental health - getting the lounge and kitchen a bit straighter would be a big plus.

Talked to counsellor. We had a session booked in next week already and then I've booked an extra one for a couple of days after the move. Will see how I go on. I had an almost 2 hour nap at lunchtime I was completely past it.

I've wrapped a few more canvases. I think I'll nip to MnS and looks for some tasty easy food. I've taken some stuff out the freezer to defrost for tomorrow. For lunch I had some loaded potato skins I froze just after Xmas. Thanks past self!

DancingInTheRain

Easy food, extra time off and additional counselling all sound like excellent plans to help navigate this next couple of weeks.

Well done on saying no to the relatives regarding money. "No" is a complete sentence too, you don't need to provide reason or justification.

Take care x

beanielou

What I would say about bi-fold doors is that they are very heavy.

Merlin's_Beard

I wouldn't worry too much about the buyers coming round - presumably their house is in a similar state right now! As long as they have enough access to measure what they need to measure, they can't really complain.