Can’t afford to rent or buy - don’t know what to do

Luke451

elsien said:

I’m actually wondering why Luke is still living in this mediocre low level country given it appears to consist mainly of slums. With or without criminals. 

Just because I have to, I dragged myself in UK for a few half wrong reasons, and I need to stay for much longer than expected, no one sane of mind would be here otherwise, and I'm wealthy compared to more than 8/10 population...

The ones that say that it's a good place where to live, they are probably war refugees, that for obvious point of views, they've clear life threatning situations...

MultiFuelBurner said:

[Deleted User] said:

MultiFuelBurner said:

wildbilljones said:

Longwalker said:

I would say your assessment of other cities are the blinkered view of someone who's never been north of the gap, and believe me, I was the exact same when I was a south Londoner , I didnt need to know about up north, I thought it was grim

Ive now had my eyes opened because I have travelled and stayed in -  Liverpool loads of times, prefer it to London ( fantastic vibrant city with lots of work, money is being poured into it ) Newcastle, another fantastic city with opportunities , Edinburgh, Glasgow , York, Leeds , Dublin and Belfast , all vibrant cities with work and affordable housing 

As someone born and bred a south Londoner I honest to goodness thought London was the be all and end all, its not true. We left London, I was 42 and had never been the length of the country before that day. Now I travel the UK and never once have I felt the need to move back to London, even with family still there

Start looking for work in your field around the country, see whats on offer, then look at the area, house prices, take a weekend trip, see what its really like , do research online, go view some properties. But sitting in London bemoaning you are stuck is not going to change a single thing. 

Our son went to Australia on a years visa, he made friends there, he met a girl, he applied for residency and then citizenship. He worked his way up in his chosen path of hospitality , he flies around the world for his work, he has a  Sydney Harbourside apartment, we have just come back from his wedding in Italy where his friends travelled from all over the world to celebrate with him. He was 22 when he went, hes 35 now. He went with just £500 and a back pack , he had never been out of Northern Ireland in his life before then. People move all over the world, not just country for the opportunity they want 

People do move all over the world and I commend them. But usually there is a link. They have friends somewhere, they have family somewhere, a partner's family is somewhere. I can't spin a globe and put my finger down on a random location. I struggle to accept that there's no way to live like an adult within a reasonable distance of my job and family. It's not like i'm earning minimum wage. The system is broken. 

Thanks for your advice in any case. 

So because you just earn over the average wage in the whole of the UK you expect to be able to buy in (correction not the 4th most expensive city in the world) bad Google lol easily?

I would suggest it's not the system that's broke but something else. Your reasoning.

No. I didn’t say I expect to be able to buy easily in London. You can pretend I did if you like. 

I’d like to be able to live somewhere that isn’t an expensive house share where my accommodation outgoings aren’t two thirds of my monthly take home. 

I’ve houseshared for 12 years but you can pretend I’m entitled if you want to. 

£40k take-home is roughly £2575 depending on deductions and pension. You suggest your accommodation outgoings are 2/3rds of that so circa £1700.

I cant think of anything worse than all that wasted 12 years of houseshare rent just to stay close to a job and family. Imo you could and should have put all that money into purchasing a property earlier.

Correct in theory, with his net income, he'll be paying only interests, also if he had taken the mortgage 5y ago, the point of taking a mortgage is to overpay like crazy, or simply put down a huge deposit, which no one has btw.

Paying only interests doesn't build up your equity, if lucky it just saves it, considering the maintenance costs etc...

UK REIT is only a rip off for pretty much everyone, but sometimes you gotta do it for other circumstances, not to make money.

Luke451

badmemory said:

Anywhere out of London would be a massive improvement for you.  For a start most people are a lot more friendly.  They will even talk to you in a bus queue which is unlikely to happen down there.  I moved back up North over 30 years ago & when we lived down there we couldn't afford to go out for a drink.  Halved my pay & on my own with a child & got a mortgage & could afford to pay a babysitter & go out for a drink.  Nothing has changed.  London is still a rip off, but Londoners are too scared to admit it.

They are ashamed, not scared, hippies never admit their failure side, they'll always admit their party side .

I was saying this many years ago, I was never so damn right in life.

Hedgepigs

Skiddaw1 said:

@[Deleted User] it does sound as though the glass is always half empty with you at present. From experience, when you're feeling down and defeated everything becomes hard work and it's difficult to be optimistic and not see only the obstacles. It might be worth considering therapy- it could help you to turn things around and build a new future for yourself.

On the housing front, perhaps there are other options you could explore. A houseboat for example?

https://www.onthemarket.com/for-sale/house-boat/london/

Well I, at least, very much enjoyed looking at those. I always said if I *had* to live in London it would be in a houseboat. I am now even more convinced on that, some of them are really cute. I like the Dutch motor barge. And I've always admired the Thames Barges at St Kathrine's Docks.

But fortunately this is a very hypothetical situation. £47k a year mooring fees for 'Monty' the narrowboat 🤯 before you even begin to consider the 16%+ minimum marine mortgage rates and general money pit of maintenance boats are...

Think I'll stay up here in the grim North 😁

zedonk

[Deleted User] said:
I don’t love what I do! It’s hard to change though. I think you’re typecast by recruiters after a few years in one field. One option might be to rent for one more year while I try and upskill/relentlessly job hunt for a higher paying role. 

Glad to hear it wasn’t just me struggling with the city move. Norwich is a lovely place btw. I think with a family and a house, I could be very happy there. Wasn’t right for me at the time though. 

Agreed, Norwich was lovely, especially the second-hand bookshops and the Belgian pub. 🙂 I just found it hard to make friends from zero - it takes time, I probably didn't give it enough time, but the loneliness was badly affecting my mental health.

I'm planning a career change right now, and there are positions out there where you can be paid to retrain, with employers open minded about transferable skills. They don't pay more than £30K, though (that's without London weighting, so it would be a bit more in London). 

RelievedSheff

zedonk said:

[Deleted User] said:
I don’t love what I do! It’s hard to change though. I think you’re typecast by recruiters after a few years in one field. One option might be to rent for one more year while I try and upskill/relentlessly job hunt for a higher paying role. 

Glad to hear it wasn’t just me struggling with the city move. Norwich is a lovely place btw. I think with a family and a house, I could be very happy there. Wasn’t right for me at the time though. 

Agreed, Norwich was lovely, especially the second-hand bookshops and the Belgian pub. 🙂 I just found it hard to make friends from zero - it takes time, I probably didn't give it enough time, but the loneliness was badly affecting my mental health.

I'm planning a career change right now, and there are positions out there where you can be paid to retrain, with employers open minded about transferable skills. They don't pay more than £30K, though (that's without London weighting, so it would be a bit more in London). 

The firm I work for in Sheffield has a London office. The staff there earn 10% more than their equivalent northern counterparts. It just isn't enough to cover the additional costs of living down there.

We earn a decent combined wage for the area where we live (circa £90k) but are lucky that the cost of living is relatively cheap. We can comfortably afford to buy a nice house in a nice area and still go out and enjoy life.

We wouldn't be able to do that if we were living and working in London. Our combined wage (even with the 10% uplift) would not be enough to have an enjoyable lifestyle down there. But we accept that and have no desire to move south. Sometimes you just have to look at your circumstances and realise that something has to change.

We made the move to a new town where we knew one other person. We very quickly made new friends and the one person we did know we very rarely see. Life is what you make of it. Don't waste it waiting for circumstances to change but not being willing to make the changes.

[Deleted User]

RelievedSheff said:

zedonk said:

[Deleted User] said:
I don’t love what I do! It’s hard to change though. I think you’re typecast by recruiters after a few years in one field. One option might be to rent for one more year while I try and upskill/relentlessly job hunt for a higher paying role. 

Glad to hear it wasn’t just me struggling with the city move. Norwich is a lovely place btw. I think with a family and a house, I could be very happy there. Wasn’t right for me at the time though. 

Agreed, Norwich was lovely, especially the second-hand bookshops and the Belgian pub. 🙂 I just found it hard to make friends from zero - it takes time, I probably didn't give it enough time, but the loneliness was badly affecting my mental health.

I'm planning a career change right now, and there are positions out there where you can be paid to retrain, with employers open minded about transferable skills. They don't pay more than £30K, though (that's without London weighting, so it would be a bit more in London). 

The firm I work for in Sheffield has a London office. The staff there earn 10% more than their equivalent northern counterparts. It just isn't enough to cover the additional costs of living down there.

We earn a decent combined wage for the area where we live (circa £90k) but are lucky that the cost of living is relatively cheap. We can comfortably afford to buy a nice house in a nice area and still go out and enjoy life.

We wouldn't be able to do that if we were living and working in London. Our combined wage (even with the 10% uplift) would not be enough to have an enjoyable lifestyle down there. But we accept that and have no desire to move south. Sometimes you just have to look at your circumstances and realise that something has to change.

We made the move to a new town where we knew one other person. We very quickly made new friends and the one person we did know we very rarely see. Life is what you make of it. Don't waste it waiting for circumstances to change but not being willing to make the changes.

Thanks for the reply and glad it’s worked out well for you. I think it’s very different when you move with someone though. Being on your own and having a job in London makes it a different experience moving to a different city where you know precisely no one. There simply isn’t a good reason to do it and it’s sad that people are forced to because of terrible housing options and landlords with a free pass to raise rent. 

RelievedSheff

[Deleted User] said:

RelievedSheff said:

zedonk said:

[Deleted User] said:
I don’t love what I do! It’s hard to change though. I think you’re typecast by recruiters after a few years in one field. One option might be to rent for one more year while I try and upskill/relentlessly job hunt for a higher paying role. 

Glad to hear it wasn’t just me struggling with the city move. Norwich is a lovely place btw. I think with a family and a house, I could be very happy there. Wasn’t right for me at the time though. 

Agreed, Norwich was lovely, especially the second-hand bookshops and the Belgian pub. 🙂 I just found it hard to make friends from zero - it takes time, I probably didn't give it enough time, but the loneliness was badly affecting my mental health.

I'm planning a career change right now, and there are positions out there where you can be paid to retrain, with employers open minded about transferable skills. They don't pay more than £30K, though (that's without London weighting, so it would be a bit more in London). 

The firm I work for in Sheffield has a London office. The staff there earn 10% more than their equivalent northern counterparts. It just isn't enough to cover the additional costs of living down there.

We earn a decent combined wage for the area where we live (circa £90k) but are lucky that the cost of living is relatively cheap. We can comfortably afford to buy a nice house in a nice area and still go out and enjoy life.

We wouldn't be able to do that if we were living and working in London. Our combined wage (even with the 10% uplift) would not be enough to have an enjoyable lifestyle down there. But we accept that and have no desire to move south. Sometimes you just have to look at your circumstances and realise that something has to change.

We made the move to a new town where we knew one other person. We very quickly made new friends and the one person we did know we very rarely see. Life is what you make of it. Don't waste it waiting for circumstances to change but not being willing to make the changes.

Thanks for the reply and glad it’s worked out well for you. I think it’s very different when you move with someone though. Being on your own and having a job in London makes it a different experience moving to a different city where you know precisely no one. There simply isn’t a good reason to do it and it’s sad that people are forced to because of terrible housing options and landlords with a free pass to raise rent. 

There clearly is when you can't afford to live there!

London isn't the centre of the world. Other far more affordable options are available and believe it or not there is life outside of London.

Luke451

[Deleted User] said:

RelievedSheff said:

zedonk said:

[Deleted User] said:
I don’t love what I do! It’s hard to change though. I think you’re typecast by recruiters after a few years in one field. One option might be to rent for one more year while I try and upskill/relentlessly job hunt for a higher paying role. 

Glad to hear it wasn’t just me struggling with the city move. Norwich is a lovely place btw. I think with a family and a house, I could be very happy there. Wasn’t right for me at the time though. 

Agreed, Norwich was lovely, especially the second-hand bookshops and the Belgian pub. 🙂 I just found it hard to make friends from zero - it takes time, I probably didn't give it enough time, but the loneliness was badly affecting my mental health.

I'm planning a career change right now, and there are positions out there where you can be paid to retrain, with employers open minded about transferable skills. They don't pay more than £30K, though (that's without London weighting, so it would be a bit more in London). 

The firm I work for in Sheffield has a London office. The staff there earn 10% more than their equivalent northern counterparts. It just isn't enough to cover the additional costs of living down there.

We earn a decent combined wage for the area where we live (circa £90k) but are lucky that the cost of living is relatively cheap. We can comfortably afford to buy a nice house in a nice area and still go out and enjoy life.

We wouldn't be able to do that if we were living and working in London. Our combined wage (even with the 10% uplift) would not be enough to have an enjoyable lifestyle down there. But we accept that and have no desire to move south. Sometimes you just have to look at your circumstances and realise that something has to change.

We made the move to a new town where we knew one other person. We very quickly made new friends and the one person we did know we very rarely see. Life is what you make of it. Don't waste it waiting for circumstances to change but not being willing to make the changes.

Thanks for the reply and glad it’s worked out well for you. I think it’s very different when you move with someone though. Being on your own and having a job in London makes it a different experience moving to a different city where you know precisely no one. There simply isn’t a good reason to do it and it’s sad that people are forced to because of terrible housing options and landlords with a free pass to raise rent. 

Don't get sad by that, or your anxiety will consume you faster than expected.

The anglosasson world has been always like that (people constantly moving), compared to Europe where the life is much more stable (casually, much less mental illnesses)...

So I recommend to do what it's best for you NOW, without thinking on how bad it could be, anyway, in any city you go, you'll find some circle and you'll adapt even to the worst, trust me, just do it.

Certainly, I'd avoid cities where there are only certain cultures, or almost mono culture, but if you're coming from London where 57% are Indians and probably 8% British and the rest from all over the planet, then you'll adapt everywhere.

I also had to move many times, always for job and now for this economy situation, I may be alone but I'll enjoy my damn spacious house with garden, I'll eventually make new friends, and if not, my house will be my best friend, imagine that down south no one can afford it unless huge inheritance from parents, so I'm widely above the quality of life that I could have got in London and surroundings.

silvercar

RelievedSheff said:

zedonk said:

[Deleted User] said:
I don’t love what I do! It’s hard to change though. I think you’re typecast by recruiters after a few years in one field. One option might be to rent for one more year while I try and upskill/relentlessly job hunt for a higher paying role. 

Glad to hear it wasn’t just me struggling with the city move. Norwich is a lovely place btw. I think with a family and a house, I could be very happy there. Wasn’t right for me at the time though. 

Agreed, Norwich was lovely, especially the second-hand bookshops and the Belgian pub. 🙂 I just found it hard to make friends from zero - it takes time, I probably didn't give it enough time, but the loneliness was badly affecting my mental health.

I'm planning a career change right now, and there are positions out there where you can be paid to retrain, with employers open minded about transferable skills. They don't pay more than £30K, though (that's without London weighting, so it would be a bit more in London). 

The firm I work for in Sheffield has a London office. The staff there earn 10% more than their equivalent northern counterparts. It just isn't enough to cover the additional costs of living down there.

We earn a decent combined wage for the area where we live (circa £90k) but are lucky that the cost of living is relatively cheap. We can comfortably afford to buy a nice house in a nice area and still go out and enjoy life.

We wouldn't be able to do that if we were living and working in London. Our combined wage (even with the 10% uplift) would not be enough to have an enjoyable lifestyle down there. But we accept that and have no desire to move south. Sometimes you just have to look at your circumstances and realise that something has to change.

We made the move to a new town where we knew one other person. We very quickly made new friends and the one person we did know we very rarely see. Life is what you make of it. Don't waste it waiting for circumstances to change but not being willing to make the changes.

Looking at it the other way, My son and his wife are currently in London and looking to buy. He would lose at least 20% of his salary transferring to the out of London offices of his company plus less bonus opportunity, she is progressing well in the civil service and would lose promotion opportunities as well as career moves, in spite of "levelling up", as well as a drop in salary.  They've decided that they can't afford to move out of London until  they are more senior in their careers. 

pinkshoes

I'm going to be blunt - you need to cut the apron strings! 

Home can be anywhere, and doesn't have to be a short distance from your family! 

I've lived all over the UK, and the only place I didn't settle well was Liverpool. I've quite happily lived in many other towns/villages/cities.

What about Reading? You can buy yourself a 1 bedroom flat for £150k that is walking distance to the train station, then about £6000 a year for a season train ticket with tube travel. Or you might even find a job in Reading, as if you deduct the cost of the train ticket from your salary, you could then find something that paid less. 

You could buy yourself a 2 bedroom property and get a lodger.

Renting would set you back £900 to £1000 a month for a studio or 1 bed flat.

(I've not lived in Reading, but know people that do love it their, it's a real mix of all ages, lots to do. You can make anywhere your home if you're willing to try and fit in).