Can’t afford to rent or buy - don’t know what to do

[Deleted User]

[Deleted User] said:

Vote Labour and try to hold on for another decade, praying that they somehow sort it out.

If you aren't too attached to the UK, emigrate before you get too old to do it. It's harder post brexit but you can still beat the ones trying to trap you here.

I have always voted Labour and will do so again. Unfortunately I think it will take a long time to undo any of the damage done to the country over the last 13 years (if they attempt to). 

I think it’ll come too late for me unfortunately. But hopefully the next generation will have more housing opportunities. 

[Deleted User]

sheramber said:

My son went to work in Romania on a temporary basis. when he was 35. 

He loved it there. He loves the people, loves the country. n ow has redidency there,  met and married his wife.

He still has friends in UK who he visits when he comes back a few times a year. 

You can  step out of your comfort zone or stay in your rut.

Romania is a nice country. I’ve spent some time there. 

I am in a rut and I am glass half empty. However I’m not lazy and I have attempted things. I got a new job with higher salary and I also moved to Norwich. 

It’s not a fear of taking a big step. It’s that I don’t know which direction to step in. Perhaps I should channel my energy into finding a career that will enable me to live in another country with a higher standard of living (for someone with my salary). 

Thanks for sharing your wisdom/ your sons’s story. 

[Deleted User]

zedonk said:

As a single person, moving to a city where you don't know anyone is hard. I'm with you on that. I've done it twice (coincidentally, once also to Norwich!) and it wasn't for me.

Would you be open to the idea of changing career, or do you love what you do? 

I don’t love what I do! It’s hard to change though. I think you’re typecast by recruiters after a few years in one field. One option might be to rent for one more year while I try and upskill/relentlessly job hunt for a higher paying role. 

Glad to hear it wasn’t just me struggling with the city move. Norwich is a lovely place btw. I think with a family and a house, I could be very happy there. Wasn’t right for me at the time though. 

badmemory

Anywhere out of London would be a massive improvement for you.  For a start most people are a lot more friendly.  They will even talk to you in a bus queue which is unlikely to happen down there.  I moved back up North over 30 years ago & when we lived down there we couldn't afford to go out for a drink.  Halved my pay & on my own with a child & got a mortgage & could afford to pay a babysitter & go out for a drink.  Nothing has changed.  London is still a rip off, but Londoners are too scared to admit it.

MultiFuelBurner

sourpuss2021 said:

MultiFuelBurner said:

[Deleted User] said:

MultiFuelBurner said:

wildbilljones said:

Longwalker said:

I would say your assessment of other cities are the blinkered view of someone who's never been north of the gap, and believe me, I was the exact same when I was a south Londoner , I didnt need to know about up north, I thought it was grim

Ive now had my eyes opened because I have travelled and stayed in -  Liverpool loads of times, prefer it to London ( fantastic vibrant city with lots of work, money is being poured into it ) Newcastle, another fantastic city with opportunities , Edinburgh, Glasgow , York, Leeds , Dublin and Belfast , all vibrant cities with work and affordable housing 

As someone born and bred a south Londoner I honest to goodness thought London was the be all and end all, its not true. We left London, I was 42 and had never been the length of the country before that day. Now I travel the UK and never once have I felt the need to move back to London, even with family still there

Start looking for work in your field around the country, see whats on offer, then look at the area, house prices, take a weekend trip, see what its really like , do research online, go view some properties. But sitting in London bemoaning you are stuck is not going to change a single thing. 

Our son went to Australia on a years visa, he made friends there, he met a girl, he applied for residency and then citizenship. He worked his way up in his chosen path of hospitality , he flies around the world for his work, he has a  Sydney Harbourside apartment, we have just come back from his wedding in Italy where his friends travelled from all over the world to celebrate with him. He was 22 when he went, hes 35 now. He went with just £500 and a back pack , he had never been out of Northern Ireland in his life before then. People move all over the world, not just country for the opportunity they want 

People do move all over the world and I commend them. But usually there is a link. They have friends somewhere, they have family somewhere, a partner's family is somewhere. I can't spin a globe and put my finger down on a random location. I struggle to accept that there's no way to live like an adult within a reasonable distance of my job and family. It's not like i'm earning minimum wage. The system is broken. 

Thanks for your advice in any case. 

So because you just earn over the average wage in the whole of the UK you expect to be able to buy in (correction not the 4th most expensive city in the world) bad Google lol easily?

I would suggest it's not the system that's broke but something else. Your reasoning.

No. I didn’t say I expect to be able to buy easily in London. You can pretend I did if you like. 

I’d like to be able to live somewhere that isn’t an expensive house share where my accommodation outgoings aren’t two thirds of my monthly take home. 

I’ve houseshared for 12 years but you can pretend I’m entitled if you want to. 

£40k take-home is roughly £2575 depending on deductions and pension. You suggest your accommodation outgoings are 2/3rds of that so circa £1700.

I cant think of anything worse than all that wasted 12 years of houseshare rent just to stay close to a job and family. Imo you could and should have put all that money into purchasing a property earlier.

Really?  He’s already said he was utterly miserable living in Norwich where he knew nobody and never saw friends and family.   And that such a life is absolutely intolerable for him.

So having spent 12 years isolated from everybody, just to own somewhere in a place that he doesn’t want to be, wouldn’t have solved anything.  He’d just have missed on all that time spent with the people that matter.

That’s not to deny that there are trade-offs, and ageing in London with no money in the bank and perpetually renting is a hazardous position to be in.  Especially when given enough time those friendship circles will disintegrate and relatives start dying off.  

I must have missed where Norwich came in thought this was all London based issues. There seems to be a back story previous thread here 

sourpuss2021

MultiFuelBurner said:

sourpuss2021 said:

MultiFuelBurner said:

wildbilljones said:

MultiFuelBurner said:

wildbilljones said:

Longwalker said:

I would say your assessment of other cities are the blinkered view of someone who's never been north of the gap, and believe me, I was the exact same when I was a south Londoner , I didnt need to know about up north, I thought it was grim

Ive now had my eyes opened because I have travelled and stayed in -  Liverpool loads of times, prefer it to London ( fantastic vibrant city with lots of work, money is being poured into it ) Newcastle, another fantastic city with opportunities , Edinburgh, Glasgow , York, Leeds , Dublin and Belfast , all vibrant cities with work and affordable housing 

As someone born and bred a south Londoner I honest to goodness thought London was the be all and end all, its not true. We left London, I was 42 and had never been the length of the country before that day. Now I travel the UK and never once have I felt the need to move back to London, even with family still there

Start looking for work in your field around the country, see whats on offer, then look at the area, house prices, take a weekend trip, see what its really like , do research online, go view some properties. But sitting in London bemoaning you are stuck is not going to change a single thing. 

Our son went to Australia on a years visa, he made friends there, he met a girl, he applied for residency and then citizenship. He worked his way up in his chosen path of hospitality , he flies around the world for his work, he has a  Sydney Harbourside apartment, we have just come back from his wedding in Italy where his friends travelled from all over the world to celebrate with him. He was 22 when he went, hes 35 now. He went with just £500 and a back pack , he had never been out of Northern Ireland in his life before then. People move all over the world, not just country for the opportunity they want 

People do move all over the world and I commend them. But usually there is a link. They have friends somewhere, they have family somewhere, a partner's family is somewhere. I can't spin a globe and put my finger down on a random location. I struggle to accept that there's no way to live like an adult within a reasonable distance of my job and family. It's not like i'm earning minimum wage. The system is broken. 

Thanks for your advice in any case. 

So because you just earn over the average wage in the whole of the UK you expect to be able to buy in (correction not the 4th most expensive city in the world) bad Google lol easily?

I would suggest it's not the system that's broke but something else. Your reasoning.

No. I didn’t say I expect to be able to buy easily in London. You can pretend I did if you like. 

I’d like to be able to live somewhere that isn’t an expensive house share where my accommodation outgoings aren’t two thirds of my monthly take home. 

I’ve houseshared for 12 years but you can pretend I’m entitled if you want to. 

£40k take-home is roughly £2575 depending on deductions and pension. You suggest your accommodation outgoings are 2/3rds of that so circa £1700.

I cant think of anything worse than all that wasted 12 years of houseshare rent just to stay close to a job and family. Imo you could and should have put all that money into purchasing a property earlier.

Really?  He’s already said he was utterly miserable living in Norwich where he knew nobody and never saw friends and family.   And that such a life is absolutely intolerable for him.

So having spent 12 years isolated from everybody, just to own somewhere in a place that he doesn’t want to be, wouldn’t have solved anything.  He’d just have missed on all that time spent with the people that matter.

That’s not to deny that there are trade-offs, and ageing in London with no money in the bank and perpetually renting is a hazardous position to be in.  Especially when given enough time those friendship circles will disintegrate and relatives start dying off.  

I must have missed where Norwich came in thought this was all London based issues. There seems to be a back story previous thread here 

Ah yes, here’s the back story:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6383315/in-my-30s-and-in-london-what-do-i-do/p1

MultiFuelBurner

sourpuss2021 said:

MultiFuelBurner said:

sourpuss2021 said:

MultiFuelBurner said:

wildbilljones said:

MultiFuelBurner said:

wildbilljones said:

Longwalker said:

I would say your assessment of other cities are the blinkered view of someone who's never been north of the gap, and believe me, I was the exact same when I was a south Londoner , I didnt need to know about up north, I thought it was grim

Ive now had my eyes opened because I have travelled and stayed in -  Liverpool loads of times, prefer it to London ( fantastic vibrant city with lots of work, money is being poured into it ) Newcastle, another fantastic city with opportunities , Edinburgh, Glasgow , York, Leeds , Dublin and Belfast , all vibrant cities with work and affordable housing 

As someone born and bred a south Londoner I honest to goodness thought London was the be all and end all, its not true. We left London, I was 42 and had never been the length of the country before that day. Now I travel the UK and never once have I felt the need to move back to London, even with family still there

Start looking for work in your field around the country, see whats on offer, then look at the area, house prices, take a weekend trip, see what its really like , do research online, go view some properties. But sitting in London bemoaning you are stuck is not going to change a single thing. 

Our son went to Australia on a years visa, he made friends there, he met a girl, he applied for residency and then citizenship. He worked his way up in his chosen path of hospitality , he flies around the world for his work, he has a  Sydney Harbourside apartment, we have just come back from his wedding in Italy where his friends travelled from all over the world to celebrate with him. He was 22 when he went, hes 35 now. He went with just £500 and a back pack , he had never been out of Northern Ireland in his life before then. People move all over the world, not just country for the opportunity they want 

People do move all over the world and I commend them. But usually there is a link. They have friends somewhere, they have family somewhere, a partner's family is somewhere. I can't spin a globe and put my finger down on a random location. I struggle to accept that there's no way to live like an adult within a reasonable distance of my job and family. It's not like i'm earning minimum wage. The system is broken. 

Thanks for your advice in any case. 

So because you just earn over the average wage in the whole of the UK you expect to be able to buy in (correction not the 4th most expensive city in the world) bad Google lol easily?

I would suggest it's not the system that's broke but something else. Your reasoning.

No. I didn’t say I expect to be able to buy easily in London. You can pretend I did if you like. 

I’d like to be able to live somewhere that isn’t an expensive house share where my accommodation outgoings aren’t two thirds of my monthly take home. 

I’ve houseshared for 12 years but you can pretend I’m entitled if you want to. 

£40k take-home is roughly £2575 depending on deductions and pension. You suggest your accommodation outgoings are 2/3rds of that so circa £1700.

I cant think of anything worse than all that wasted 12 years of houseshare rent just to stay close to a job and family. Imo you could and should have put all that money into purchasing a property earlier.

Really?  He’s already said he was utterly miserable living in Norwich where he knew nobody and never saw friends and family.   And that such a life is absolutely intolerable for him.

So having spent 12 years isolated from everybody, just to own somewhere in a place that he doesn’t want to be, wouldn’t have solved anything.  He’d just have missed on all that time spent with the people that matter.

That’s not to deny that there are trade-offs, and ageing in London with no money in the bank and perpetually renting is a hazardous position to be in.  Especially when given enough time those friendship circles will disintegrate and relatives start dying off.  

I must have missed where Norwich came in thought this was all London based issues. There seems to be a back story previous thread here 

Ah yes, here’s the back story:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6383315/in-my-30s-and-in-london-what-do-i-do/p1

Thanks    👍

Grizebeck

Newcastle is friendly and cheap 

silvercar

[Deleted User] said:

sourpuss2021 said:

wildbilljones said:

snooksnj1 said:

wildbilljones said:

Hi there,

I am a 35yo male from the UK. I’ve lived in houseshares in London for most of my adult life. I recently moved home because I became tired of living out of a bedroom in a rental home and rent prices kept increasing. 

I feel far too old to be at home but I don’t know where else to turn. I earn £40k a year and have £30k savings. I don’t earn enough to buy a property and I don’t earn enough to rent a one bed property. I feel lost and don’t know where to turn. My family say “just wait and something will come along”. I know it won’t, as things only get harder in this country. 

My life is on hold because I feel unable to start new relationships while living with my parents. It keeps me in a state of depression and disenchantment. 

What am I supposed to do? I’m genuinely at the end of my tether. I feel there’s no options at all for me to live like a professional adult. 

Just because  living in a penthouse along the Thames is out of your price range doesn't mean you don't have options. 

I don’t want a penthouse along the Thames. I want to not rent a box room with a microwave in it for £1400pcm plus bills. 

How about £385 a month for a room in a professional flatshare in Catford?:

https://m.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/flatshare_detail.pl?flatshare_id=16129588

And if you can stomach sharing, there are plenty of other cheap rooms in inner South East London:

https://m.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/?search_id=1259296287&sort_by=price_low_to_high

Thank you. Having lived in houseshares for 12 years, I’m not able to do so anymore. I find it emasculating and it really affects my mental health. I think into your thirties and forties, you need a bit more than a room in someone else’s house. 

Thank you for looking though. I appreciate your help.

I understand this. My son felt the same, the novelty of living in a busy house with lots of activity waned as he hit 30. He then rented the spare room of a mate and that was better. He has now bought and rents out the spare room sometimes to help with the mortgage. He only wants to rent it out some of the time and only to people he knows, or knows of. 

Luke451

Murphybear said:

Luke451 said:

wildbilljones said:

Hi there,

I am a 35yo male from the UK. I’ve lived in houseshares in London for most of my adult life. I recently moved home because I became tired of living out of a bedroom in a rental home and rent prices kept increasing. 

I feel far too old to be at home but I don’t know where else to turn. I earn £40k a year and have £30k savings. I don’t earn enough to buy a property and I don’t earn enough to rent a one bed property. I feel lost and don’t know where to turn. My family say “just wait and something will come along”. I know it won’t, as things only get harder in this country. 

My life is on hold because I feel unable to start new relationships while living with my parents. It keeps me in a state of depression and disenchantment. 

What am I supposed to do? I’m genuinely at the end of my tether. I feel there’s no options at all for me to live like a professional adult. 

I'm very sorry for you, I'll try to help...

You live in UK, a mediocre low level country (I should be much harder, but I didn't want to offend so I kept it quite), you can't have expectations here, so by not having them, you won't chase them, anxiety sorted.

Are you stressed? Well that's London, this city is a rip off for everyone and with 40k yearly, I guess you're sharing with other 2 people, your main problem comes from being in London, it has the lowest quality of life, but probably slightly better than some slum full of criminals.

Do you remember the help to buy? I'm not gonna comment on how stupid it was and how many people are selling nowadays due to that, but remember that the people with around 90k were considered poor in London and therefore qualified for "help to buy", same nowadays btw with the shared ownership scheme, taking 40k answers every possible doubt, BUT NO STRESS, and you're not alone, the majority take around that in London, so no need to worry here.

London has been a financial rip off for everyone since always, but nowadays, it's officially impossible to live even the minimum quality of life, certainly with 40k you don't go anywhere and this situation will be around for a decade or more, I say more because politicians are too overqualified for their simple job of doing things right, and they will certainly use their skills to rip you off, it's more profitable .

So what's the solution?

Try other major cities, like Birmingham, Manchester, Bristol, it depends if you like mountains or not...

In these cities, your salary can be the same, but you'll rent with one person less, it's such a big improvement.

Then, you may apply for low income house schemes, but be very careful with those, they are designed to stick yourself in slums, so I'd wait a better financial situation, but waiting in REIT is not great.

When will it happen? I don't know, but it's better to rent where you want with who you want, rather than being confined in a British slum.

Keeping yourself flexible will certainly give you a better quality of life, because you don't have the salary to maintain your home (even with 2019 life cost), maybe a cheap apartment but those turn up to be slums very quickly and you will feel quite trapped with the small spaces and poor sunlight and zero privacy, so rent where is safe, rent where is nice, rent with who you like, keep moving when the situation becomes risky.

This is the best solution I can think of, good luck.

Not sure I entirely agree with this.  I went to University in London in 1971.  It was a great place to live back then.  My College was just off Kensington High St so it was a very expensive area to rent/buy but there was a great affordable Hall of Residence.  (Note; you won’t find it now, the building was sold to build super expensive apartments and the College merged with Kings).

I moved to South West London to work in St Georges Hospital where I met my first husband.  Unfortunately buying somewhere was virtually impossible, low salary (we were both laboratory staff) 50 people after each tiny flat and mortgage rates 16/17%.   We found a basement flat in Balham to rent

Roll on a few years, we got divorced, I was sharing a flat to help pay my BFFs mortgage and I met 2nd husband.  This was 1996 We couldn’t afford to buy anywhere so moved to Milton Keynes. I got a job with OU and we bought a bungalow in a village.

Roll on a few years and we retired and moved to Devon.  

So, as I said, London was a brilliant place to live but not easily affordable back then.  By the time 1996 arrived it was a dump and we were glad to move out.  My husband was born and brought up in London, he couldn’t wait to move out.  

"Since always", and words like "always" are always relative.

Looking at what you wrote, it has been 2 generations financially ruined in London, compared to other average places in UK where life "prospered" (I was sweet here).

We both said the same thing...