Can’t afford to rent or buy - don’t know what to do

sourpuss2021

wildbilljones said:

snooksnj1 said:

wildbilljones said:

Hi there,

I am a 35yo male from the UK. I’ve lived in houseshares in London for most of my adult life. I recently moved home because I became tired of living out of a bedroom in a rental home and rent prices kept increasing. 

I feel far too old to be at home but I don’t know where else to turn. I earn £40k a year and have £30k savings. I don’t earn enough to buy a property and I don’t earn enough to rent a one bed property. I feel lost and don’t know where to turn. My family say “just wait and something will come along”. I know it won’t, as things only get harder in this country. 

My life is on hold because I feel unable to start new relationships while living with my parents. It keeps me in a state of depression and disenchantment. 

What am I supposed to do? I’m genuinely at the end of my tether. I feel there’s no options at all for me to live like a professional adult. 

Just because  living in a penthouse along the Thames is out of your price range doesn't mean you don't have options. 

I don’t want a penthouse along the Thames. I want to not rent a box room with a microwave in it for £1400pcm plus bills. 

How about £385 a month for a room in a professional flatshare in Catford?:

https://m.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/flatshare_detail.pl?flatshare_id=16129588

And if you can stomach sharing, there are plenty of other cheap rooms in inner South East London:

https://m.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/?search_id=1259296287&sort_by=price_low_to_high

zagubov

You do have options. When I first moved to England I was in  East Anglia and it took years to make friends outside of work. Visited Sheffield briefly and waiting in a queue for a phone booth (it was the 80s)  I realised I’d had more conversations with locals in six minutes that I had in the south in six months.

You’re right in that Norwich wouldn’t be first choice of a place to move outside of London.

Luckily you work in a key sector where jobs come up all over the country and as  @Longwalker pointed out there’s many vibrant and more affordable cities you could find work in (although obviously do some research if you got to Glasgow, Edinburgh or Dublin as the education systems are different).

I worked in education in London for almost 40 years. In my previous job the average age of the staff was about 30; they were mostly single people enjoying London nightlife but who all relocated back up to the midlands or points north when they wanted to marry and start a family.

Lots of staff lived in lodgings they found out about via their work. None of them seriously contemplated living in London long-term - they would have considered it absurd.

sheramber

My son went to work in Romania on a temporary basis. when he was 35. 

He loved it there. He loves the people, loves the country. n ow has redidency there,  met and married his wife.

He still has friends in UK who he visits when he comes back a few times a year. 

You can  step out of your comfort zone or stay in your rut.

Longwalker

[Deleted User] said:

Longwalker said:

I would say your assessment of other cities are the blinkered view of someone who's never been north of the gap, and believe me, I was the exact same when I was a south Londoner , I didnt need to know about up north, I thought it was grim

Ive now had my eyes opened because I have travelled and stayed in -  Liverpool loads of times, prefer it to London ( fantastic vibrant city with lots of work, money is being poured into it ) Newcastle, another fantastic city with opportunities , Edinburgh, Glasgow , York, Leeds , Dublin and Belfast , all vibrant cities with work and affordable housing 

As someone born and bred a south Londoner I honest to goodness thought London was the be all and end all, its not true. We left London, I was 42 and had never been the length of the country before that day. Now I travel the UK and never once have I felt the need to move back to London, even with family still there

Start looking for work in your field around the country, see whats on offer, then look at the area, house prices, take a weekend trip, see what its really like , do research online, go view some properties. But sitting in London bemoaning you are stuck is not going to change a single thing. 

Our son went to Australia on a years visa, he made friends there, he met a girl, he applied for residency and then citizenship. He worked his way up in his chosen path of hospitality , he flies around the world for his work, he has a  Sydney Harbourside apartment, we have just come back from his wedding in Italy where his friends travelled from all over the world to celebrate with him. He was 22 when he went, hes 35 now. He went with just £500 and a back pack , he had never been out of Northern Ireland in his life before then. People move all over the world, not just country for the opportunity they want 

People do move all over the world and I commend them. But usually there is a link. They have friends somewhere, they have family somewhere, a partner's family is somewhere. I can't spin a globe and put my finger down on a random location. I struggle to accept that there's no way to live like an adult within a reasonable distance of my job and family. It's not like i'm earning minimum wage. The system is broken. 

Thanks for your advice in any case. 

Well actually I did just that, pin in a map

Son didnt know anyone in Oz. Sure he went with a friend, it was a back packers trip - gap year stuff, his friend came back, he didnt, he forged a new life there 

Stop putting obstacles in the way of moving forward. Change is scary, no one likes change, but as the saying goes - Nothing changes if Nothing Changes 

Skiddaw1

@[Deleted User] it does sound as though the glass is always half empty with you at present. From experience, when you're feeling down and defeated everything becomes hard work and it's difficult to be optimistic and not see only the obstacles. It might be worth considering therapy- it could help you to turn things around and build a new future for yourself.

On the housing front, perhaps there are other options you could explore. A houseboat for example?

https://www.onthemarket.com/for-sale/house-boat/london/

MultiFuelBurner

wildbilljones said:

Longwalker said:

I would say your assessment of other cities are the blinkered view of someone who's never been north of the gap, and believe me, I was the exact same when I was a south Londoner , I didnt need to know about up north, I thought it was grim

Ive now had my eyes opened because I have travelled and stayed in -  Liverpool loads of times, prefer it to London ( fantastic vibrant city with lots of work, money is being poured into it ) Newcastle, another fantastic city with opportunities , Edinburgh, Glasgow , York, Leeds , Dublin and Belfast , all vibrant cities with work and affordable housing 

As someone born and bred a south Londoner I honest to goodness thought London was the be all and end all, its not true. We left London, I was 42 and had never been the length of the country before that day. Now I travel the UK and never once have I felt the need to move back to London, even with family still there

Start looking for work in your field around the country, see whats on offer, then look at the area, house prices, take a weekend trip, see what its really like , do research online, go view some properties. But sitting in London bemoaning you are stuck is not going to change a single thing. 

Our son went to Australia on a years visa, he made friends there, he met a girl, he applied for residency and then citizenship. He worked his way up in his chosen path of hospitality , he flies around the world for his work, he has a  Sydney Harbourside apartment, we have just come back from his wedding in Italy where his friends travelled from all over the world to celebrate with him. He was 22 when he went, hes 35 now. He went with just £500 and a back pack , he had never been out of Northern Ireland in his life before then. People move all over the world, not just country for the opportunity they want 

People do move all over the world and I commend them. But usually there is a link. They have friends somewhere, they have family somewhere, a partner's family is somewhere. I can't spin a globe and put my finger down on a random location. I struggle to accept that there's no way to live like an adult within a reasonable distance of my job and family. It's not like i'm earning minimum wage. The system is broken. 

Thanks for your advice in any case. 

So because you just earn over the average wage in the whole of the UK you expect to be able to buy in (correction not the 4th most expensive city in the world) bad Google lol easily?

I would suggest it's not the system that's broke but something else. Your reasoning.

KxMx

I think perhaps Norwich was a bit too far for someone who really wants to live in London.
There are more affordable areas which are closer and quicker to travel by train into the city for visiting family and friends.

Luke451

[Deleted User] said:

Hi there,

I am a 35yo male from the UK. I’ve lived in houseshares in London for most of my adult life. I recently moved home because I became tired of living out of a bedroom in a rental home and rent prices kept increasing. 

I feel far too old to be at home but I don’t know where else to turn. I earn £40k a year and have £30k savings. I don’t earn enough to buy a property and I don’t earn enough to rent a one bed property. I feel lost and don’t know where to turn. My family say “just wait and something will come along”. I know it won’t, as things only get harder in this country. 

My life is on hold because I feel unable to start new relationships while living with my parents. It keeps me in a state of depression and disenchantment. 

What am I supposed to do? I’m genuinely at the end of my tether. I feel there’s no options at all for me to live like a professional adult. 

I'm very sorry for you, I'll try to help...

You live in UK, a mediocre low level country (I should be much harder, but I didn't want to offend so I kept it quite), you can't have expectations here, so by not having them, you won't chase them, anxiety sorted.

Are you stressed? Well that's London, this city is a rip off for everyone and with 40k yearly, I guess you're sharing with other 2 people, your main problem comes from being in London, it has the lowest quality of life, but probably slightly better than some slum full of criminals.

Do you remember the help to buy? I'm not gonna comment on how stupid it was and how many people are selling nowadays due to that, but remember that the people with around 90k were considered poor in London and therefore qualified for "help to buy", same nowadays btw with the shared ownership scheme, taking 40k answers every possible doubt, BUT NO STRESS, and you're not alone, the majority take around that in London, so no need to worry here.

London has been a financial rip off for everyone since always, but nowadays, it's officially impossible to live even the minimum quality of life, certainly with 40k you don't go anywhere and this situation will be around for a decade or more, I say more because politicians are too overqualified for their simple job of doing things right, and they will certainly use their skills to rip you off, it's more profitable .

So what's the solution?

Try other major cities, like Birmingham, Manchester, Bristol, it depends if you like mountains or not...

In these cities, your salary can be the same, but you'll rent with one person less, it's such a big improvement.

Then, you may apply for low income house schemes, but be very careful with those, they are designed to stick yourself in slums, so I'd wait a better financial situation, but waiting in REIT is not great.

When will it happen? I don't know, but it's better to rent where you want with who you want, rather than being confined in a British slum.

Keeping yourself flexible will certainly give you a better quality of life, because you don't have the salary to maintain your home (even with 2019 life cost), maybe a cheap apartment but those turn up to be slums very quickly and you will feel quite trapped with the small spaces and poor sunlight and zero privacy, so rent where is safe, rent where is nice, rent with who you like, keep moving when the situation becomes risky.

This is the best solution I can think of, good luck.

Luke451

MultiFuelBurner said:

wildbilljones said:

Longwalker said:

I would say your assessment of other cities are the blinkered view of someone who's never been north of the gap, and believe me, I was the exact same when I was a south Londoner , I didnt need to know about up north, I thought it was grim

Ive now had my eyes opened because I have travelled and stayed in -  Liverpool loads of times, prefer it to London ( fantastic vibrant city with lots of work, money is being poured into it ) Newcastle, another fantastic city with opportunities , Edinburgh, Glasgow , York, Leeds , Dublin and Belfast , all vibrant cities with work and affordable housing 

As someone born and bred a south Londoner I honest to goodness thought London was the be all and end all, its not true. We left London, I was 42 and had never been the length of the country before that day. Now I travel the UK and never once have I felt the need to move back to London, even with family still there

Start looking for work in your field around the country, see whats on offer, then look at the area, house prices, take a weekend trip, see what its really like , do research online, go view some properties. But sitting in London bemoaning you are stuck is not going to change a single thing. 

Our son went to Australia on a years visa, he made friends there, he met a girl, he applied for residency and then citizenship. He worked his way up in his chosen path of hospitality , he flies around the world for his work, he has a  Sydney Harbourside apartment, we have just come back from his wedding in Italy where his friends travelled from all over the world to celebrate with him. He was 22 when he went, hes 35 now. He went with just £500 and a back pack , he had never been out of Northern Ireland in his life before then. People move all over the world, not just country for the opportunity they want 

People do move all over the world and I commend them. But usually there is a link. They have friends somewhere, they have family somewhere, a partner's family is somewhere. I can't spin a globe and put my finger down on a random location. I struggle to accept that there's no way to live like an adult within a reasonable distance of my job and family. It's not like i'm earning minimum wage. The system is broken. 

Thanks for your advice in any case. 

So because you just earn over the average wage in the whole of the UK you expect to be able to buy in 4th most expensive city in the world easily?

I would suggest it's not the system that's broke but something else. Your reasoning.

If he lives and work in a place (in this case London), it should be affordable for everyone, but guess what, it isn't and BY FAR.

UK is a garbage country, London on TOP OF EVERY INTERNATIONAL CITY.

Now I expect all the London hippies to go against me, but hey, average salary is around 40k in the Greater London, average salary to buy a decent house not subsised and with no mold, mmm... Probably around 120k, and with that, as of today, it's probably your 65% of salary.

Not so far for apartments, but then they balance off the monthly cost with the service charge and ground rent, so no cheaper either...

Olinda99

Actually London doesn't even make the top 11  'most expensive cities in the world'...

(Singapore / New York / Tel Aviv / Hong Kong / LA /  Zurich / Geneva / San Fran / Paris / Copenhagen / Sydney)