Can’t afford to rent or buy - don’t know what to do

[Deleted User]

Hi there,

I am a 35yo male from the UK. I’ve lived in houseshares in London for most of my adult life. I recently moved home because I became tired of living out of a bedroom in a rental home and rent prices kept increasing. 

I feel far too old to be at home but I don’t know where else to turn. I earn £40k a year and have £30k savings. I don’t earn enough to buy a property and I don’t earn enough to rent a one bed property. I feel lost and don’t know where to turn. My family say “just wait and something will come along”. I know it won’t, as things only get harder in this country. 

My life is on hold because I feel unable to start new relationships while living with my parents. It keeps me in a state of depression and disenchantment. 

What am I supposed to do? I’m genuinely at the end of my tether. I feel there’s no options at all for me to live like a professional adult. 

p00hsticks

Have you considered moving to another part of the country ?  

Caz3121

might be worth revisiting last years thread, has anything changed?
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6383315/in-my-30s-and-in-london-what-do-i-do/p1

[Deleted User]

Caz3121 said:

might be worth revisiting last years thread, has anything changed?
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6383315/in-my-30s-and-in-london-what-do-i-do/p1

Thanks. No, nothing has changed. I don’t know what I’m expecting to get from the forum. There is nowhere to go unfortunately. 

Longwalker

A couple of options, increase your earnings, or move out of London 

I know in your previous thread you tried moving out to Norwich and felt lonely, I do get that

18 years ago we were having to move, we lived in Surrey and worked in London, we had to look as far as Norwich before we could afford to buy what we needed, so I thought sod that, if Im moving out of London, I want to move where I am going to be happy. Ended up 500 miles away, mortgage free now ( within 8 years ) and part time working 

Yes it was lonely and hard for the first 3 years, took a while, but the work life balance was worth the loneliness and now we , whilst not living the dream, are living with a better quality of life then if we had stayed down south. We have made new friends and are active in the community 

You are 35, you arent so young anymore. You need to work out your priorities. Ours aged 40 was not taking on half a million pound of debt so we could keep on the treadmill of working to service that debt (mortgage debt ). Yes our circumstances were a bit different as we had got our first property - a doer upper that we had to live in when we had no kitchen or back wall for 3 months because we couldn't afford mortgage , work needed and rent elsewhere. At 30 it was getting the first property and we had to move out of London, suffer 5 hours sitting in traffic to get to and from and then spend every penny and hour renovating when we weren't at work. We had no social life back then, couldn't afford one. 

London isnt the be all and end all. Friends are found wherever you are , if you make the effort

My younger sister made the bigger move - Australia as did our son. Sure we dont see them very often, every few years, but these are the sacrifices grown ups make

[Deleted User]

Thanks. I wish I’d made the jump and left the UK earlier in life. I felt like things would work out if I just kept working and saving but I’ve realised that that’s not going to happen and around this age, you hit a wall where you’re too old to rent and too poor to buy. 

I’m not someone who can live hundreds of miles away from friends and family, unfortunately. I know it’s a first world problem etc, but I wouldn’t see life as worth living if I was all alone in a place I had no attachment to.

JacJac1

Longwalker said:

A couple of options, increase your earnings, or move out of London 

I know in your previous thread you tried moving out to Norwich and felt lonely, I do get that

18 years ago we were having to move, we lived in Surrey and worked in London, we had to look as far as Norwich before we could afford to buy what we needed, so I thought sod that, if Im moving out of London, I want to move where I am going to be happy. Ended up 500 miles away, mortgage free now ( within 8 years ) and part time working 

Yes it was lonely and hard for the first 3 years, took a while, but the work life balance was worth the loneliness and now we , whilst not living the dream, are living with a better quality of life then if we had stayed down south. We have made new friends and are active in the community 

You are 35, you arent so young anymore. You need to work out your priorities. Ours aged 40 was not taking on half a million pound of debt so we could keep on the treadmill of working to service that debt (mortgage debt ). Yes our circumstances were a bit different as we had got our first property - a doer upper that we had to live in when we had no kitchen or back wall for 3 months because we couldn't afford mortgage , work needed and rent elsewhere. At 30 it was getting the first property and we had to move out of London, suffer 5 hours sitting in traffic to get to and from and then spend every penny and hour renovating when we weren't at work. We had no social life back then, couldn't afford one. 

London isnt the be all and end all. Friends are found wherever you are , if you make the effort

My younger sister made the bigger move - Australia as did our son. Sure we dont see them very often, every few years, but these are the sacrifices grown ups make

It sounds like you made a lot of scarifices, but to be fair to the OP its a lot more difficult doing these things on your own rather than in a couple where you have eachother for support.

_Penny_Dreadful

[Deleted User] said:

Caz3121 said:

might be worth revisiting last years thread, has anything changed?
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6383315/in-my-30s-and-in-london-what-do-i-do/p1

Thanks. No, nothing has changed. I don’t know what I’m expecting to get from the forum. There is nowhere to go unfortunately. 

London isn't the only city in the UK with professional jobs you know.  An income of £40,000pa is not enough to achieve what you want so what are your other options? 

1. Go back to house sharing.
2. Look at places outside of London that are still commutable to London and see if you can afford any of them.
3. Look at moving out of London completely.  Norfolk didn't work out but there are plenty of cities in the UK besides London to choose from.
4. Consider a HTB Shared Equity.  People have mixed feelings about shared equity.  For me if the only option was to stay in the private rental sector or shared equity I would seriously consider it.  You also need to have an exit plan e.g. will you be able to staircase to 100%.
5. Buy with someone else.  Not necessarily a romantic partner but perhaps a friend in the same boat.

I can understand why you don't want to be living at home age 35.  I should as hell wouldn't want that either unless there was a very clear end goal e.g. head down and save for 2 years then buy.  I also wonder how the parents feel in this situation where an adult child can't or won't leave the nest.

Olinda99

yes I agree you will probably never be able to buy in London or even rent if things continue this way.

I recommend looking at cheaper (maybe much cheaper) areas and seeing what jobs are available there

https://www.housebeautiful.com/uk/lifestyle/property/a33344610/affordable-places-buy-home-uk-zoopla/

RelievedSheff

As others have said you need to change something. You either need to find a way to earn more money or move to a cheaper area. Doing nothing isn't really an option.

We did the latter to be able to afford a nice house in a nice area. We moved from a big city to a cheaper commuter town. 

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the comments. I won’t be able to earn any more money. I don’t work in tech or law or a high paying industry. I’d always thought having a senior role in an education organisation would allow me to live like an adult but it’s not the case.

I’m not going to move to a remote area that I have no attachment to and where I know no one. I did that before and I felt like I was in the witness protection scheme. It was a miserable existence.

I appreciate you listing the options here. It looks like I will have to go with shared ownership, despite it being a really terrible deal.