Flying solo

backinbusiness

So sorry that OH's actions were the catalyst for your life changes, but by the sound of things you are embracing them.  Good luck OP - onwards and upwards!!  BiB x 

Floss

twiggy86 said:

I will definitely be seeking legal advice if he asks for anything - or actually maybe it's worth doing that anyway so that I have peace of mind and can start to plan accordingly. 

I think it's a good plan to know exactly where you stand.

Purplelady65

Sorry to hear about your situation and good luck with moving on and clearing your debts. Are you married to your ex as that will impact on the outcome of any claims he might make. You must be a very forgiving person if you’re still driving him to work, cooking meals for him and letting him get away with not paying his way! 

peb

You say ex OH implying that you aren't married.  It makes a difference.  

If not married then estoppel applies, so what has he put in?

twiggy86

Hi all.

Yes that is correct that we were never married. I inherited half the house from a family member and took out a mortgage for the other half. I have spreadsheets which clearly detail his financial contribution for some of this - probably since Jan 22 is the most complete and a bit "hit and miss" before then. I didn't ever think I'd need it for these purposes as it more just my budgeting tool. He did carry out some building work at the outset but I believe I mostly paid for materials and it was his labour that I benefited from. So definitely not straight-forward! 

twopenny

Well done! You're going great guns  If you come to a dip or slow down don't give up. Just take time out to gather yourself and up and at 'em again later.

I used to have a poem on my wall about 'rest awhile' and you've reminded me it's not there and it should be.

Sheesh with regards to history we can only do what we think is right at the time.

And you seem to have been doing the right thing in the background. Do keep all those details together, in order and preferably somewhere where he can never get at them. No accounting for deviousness when someone's pushed.

With regards to the door - there's a DIY forum on here and they are great. Doors are cheap and not that difficult to put up yourself.

Shower - look for sale times at local suppliers, builders merchants do basic but good and reasonable price. Especially if you ask to be a member then you get a discount. Again, the diy forum will have ideas and just replacing existing with new is not going to be that expensive.

Photograph before you do any renovations and keep bills just in case there's dispute in future.

Hope the plan goes to order.........it's a good one

twiggy86

Today's bits and bobs:

• Received the money from QuidC0 and so have shuffled that into my savings pot - I've decided to top up the DIY fund to £500, so that requires £34. I am then going to use the remainder to make a further CC overpayment, but will probably do that tomorrow 
• The food budget is nearly depleted but rather than eat in (excuse the pun!) to the buffer, I am going to shuffle over some money from my personal spends as still have £73 left - will need to work out why this has run low this month 
• Will try list some other items on V*nted tonight - I received £1 yesterday from something I'd sold! 
• Tried on a jumper I was part way through making - realised it will be too small!!! I've lost a lot of weight recently and it only just fits me (and I envisage putting weight back on) - so that needs to be frogged!!! I will then re-make so that it is bigger, which is annoying as I've spent a long time making it so far but no point wasting the money on the yarn if I won't actually wear it! 
• Today should be ex's pay day so let's see what he coughs up!!! To be honest I haven't been making a fuss about the money on the basis that I imagine it will go against him in affecting what (if anything) I end up having to pay him 

twiggy86

@twopenny - thanks for the encouragement! I wanted to replace the shower myself but my friend talked me out of it! Maybe that will be a job for this weekend! It isn't helped by the fact that my usual handyman is my dad and he refuses to set foot in the house whilst ex is still around! (I don't think he trusts himself to react with the same level of calmness I have!)

vampirotoothus

Hi, I think you're being a bit too calm. He will not move out whilst you are carrying on the same. It seems you are still doing all the providing and he is doing all the taking. You need to get him GONE!. Good luck. Rooting for you V x

Floss

Good to read you have spreadsheets too 😁

Does your ex have a date to leave? If so, you could start to plan your shower refit for after then, so your dad can help.