Flying solo

twiggy86

I feel like a bit of a fraud still being in the DFW section, but it hasn't sunk in yet that after sooooo many years I am actually debt free! Also this is the only part of the forum I have ever been on, so don't know where to go!

Some of the other things I've done recently include gifting a amigurumi animal I made previously as a baby shower gift - which was both well received and helps with the decluttering! I've joined a new netball league and played my first game last night after tearing my calf - I'm not sure if it was the heat or the drop in fitness but it was blooming hard!!! Enjoyed it though! This new league is slightly more expensive than my old league but includes coaching time and longer games. I have also signed up to a game on Thursday for my old league but it's a cheap game, so will only cost £1.50! Slightly regretting it after how hot it was last night!

Other things for this week are a meeting with our wedding videographer tomorrow evening and then a creative workshop/ brunch on Sunday! Oh and line dancing on Friday!

Today's productive/ mini-money saving tasks include:

• Hoover living room
• Load of washing on 30 degree wash
• Hang washing on airer
• Meals from stores
• Update budget
• Do some honeymoon planning!

Humdinger1

Congratulations @twiggy86! Not callous at all. You're honouring their memories. Lovely clean sheet. Proper farewell to toxic ex. Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx

twiggy86

So today I have transferred the majority of my savings into our joint savings account - so that is currently sitting at a very healthy number after I added £11,200 to it! Albeit we do have various things that need to come out of there in the near future - such as final wedding invoices, lease extension and moving costs.

I have "held back" £1,300. My savings were all allocated and I am having a hard time letting go of a few pots. These are pots that relate to things I have saved for myself - such as clothes, bridesmaids gifts - and then there my bank buffers (as I like to treat £100 as the equivalent as £0). I had agreed with OH that we are "all in" (and actually it was me pushing for this approach) so it feels wrong to keep this back - although I have discussed keeping some back with him and he is ok with it. I think I have a hard time:

• completely trusting someone and not having my own security blanket after 16 years of being with someone who took financial advantage of me;
• spending money on a thing if it hasn't been specifically assigned to that thing!

So there is clearly still work I need to do on myself.

Ideally I'd also like to close some of my accounts - and the credit cards - but whilst we are in the middle of buying a house, I am conscious of doing anything that will affect my credit score!

Nearly had an expensive evening last night… decided to head to the beach with pooch about 8pm but as we were getting there, OH had a funny tummy come on and had to dash to the loo. I got out of the car with pooch but wasn't sure whether we would be going straight home again depending on how OH was feeling, so didn't immediately buy a parking ticket. Thankfully I didn't wander far from the car as within 2 minutes a traffic warden appeared!!! I told him I was having issues with the app/ wifi so hadn't managed to do it yet and he allowed me to put it on without issuing us a fine!!! He was actually really nice and even helped me find the carpark code as I genuinely couldn't see it! Also, OH felt ok so we managed to have a dip in the ocean to cool off!

On to the smaller things for today:

• Transfer savings (ok that wasn't a small thing, but wanted to include on my list!)
• Write wedding vows/ promises and send them to registrar
• Do some more honeymoon planning
• Put bicarbonate of soda in my water bottle which has developed a funky smell!! (yuk!)
• Meals from stores
• Call with someone re life insurance later, followed by the wedding videographer - we are having minimal "official" photos but decided to have a videographer as we have lots of fun things planned that we would love to capture!

twiggy86

Managed to swerve a pub dinner last night! It was so hot that neither of us could really be bothered to cook (OH generally does all the cooking) and so he suggested we go to the pub. However, I pointed out that most pubs would likely be as hot/ hotter than our house, and at least at home we could sit with a level of clothing that would be inappropriate to most public places!!! 🤣

So we had dinner at home and then at about 8pm when we were both still really restless, I suggested we head to the beach again! It was lovely but so busy down there still - I think it was quieter the other night as we went when the England football game was on! But last night it took 30minutes to get out of the car park - although we said it was worth queuing to cool off in the sea! Plus pooch was much happier when she got home! I slept ok-ish as I was cuddling a frozen hot water bottle, but OH had a pretty awful night!

We are meant to be going line dancing tonight, but it might be melting in there - in which case we will have a bite to eat and a drink instead. Then plans for the weekend are a creative brunch on Sunday morning (think it's lino-printing?) whilst OH plays golf. May go for a walk down the beach with a friend tomorrow morning but otherwise it is free day at the moment!

On the money front, my salary has been paid into our joint account - although we are ignoring it until "proper pay day" when OH gets his at the end of the month! Then fingers crossed all the direct debits have moved across properly!!!!

Catscoffeecake

That's exciting about the savings looking very healthy. But can also understand why you may be hesitant to give up all your savings, but its a work in progress, so give yourself time and maybe you'll learn to be able to let go of the account in just your name.

twiggy86

The joint savings are currently at £41k! But no doubt they will be depleted somewhat next week as we are supposedly completing next Friday!!!

There was a bit of drama yesterday and it looked like it could have been pushed to mid-September, but thankfully managed to get everyone to agree! The issue was that the top of the chain wouldn't initially agree to that date - with our buyers due to give birth they then wanted to push to end of August, except we get married and then go straight on honeymoon at the end August! So very stressful, but should exchange later - so keep your fingers crossed!!!

Money-wise, it is the first month combining finances with OH and has all gone well. We've had discussions when anything has "cropped up", such as his dentist bill, where that money comes from and so far (albeit early days) we've been aligned in our thinking! Of course, this month there was more disposal between us, but that will go down when we move as the mortgage is going up somewhat!

Wedding plans are all pretty much there. Had a call with the photographer last night and venue later today. We only have a photographer for a couple of hours although we do have a videographer for the day. In discussing with various people, I've realised that the theme of our day is - FUN! Getting very exciting about it now - although even though OH is doing the bulk of the organisation, between work being incredibly busy, wedding plans and house issues I am starting to feel the stress!!!

twiggy86

Tomorrow is moving day! I've got a few mixed emotions, but mainly excited! The move to a new house feels like it represents not just turning the page of a book, but starting a whole new one…. with the theme being fun and partnership! I definitely no longer feel like I'm "flying solo"! The other thing I need to do is close down my old credit cards! I've mindful of doing anything that could impact my credit score (in light of the new mortgage), so that will really feel like the end of my debt-days!

And then the wedding will be about a month after the move! Such an exciting time and something I could never have imagined on the first night in this current house when OH left after we split!

We will be moving in with a big chunk of savings which will allow us to crack straight on and do the few projects we want to complete - mainly just decorating but a few slightly bigger bits involving plastering. Kitchen brand new (fitted in March) so that's a big expensive job we don't have to think about! So obviously still need to be mindful of not over-spending, but don't need to be worrying about how we will cover the costs. I'm not forgetting that we still have a few wedding invoices, a lease extension and an emergency fund to factor into the savings - so it's definitely not an endless pot of money!

vampirotoothus

Good luck with the move, I hope it all goes smoothly for you. V x

Baileys_Babe

I hope everything goes smoothly with your move.

It must be so exciting starting a whole new chapter of your life.

Would it be worth splitting the savings into a house project pot and a savings pot, so the house project doesn't swallow all the savings - ask me how I know.