Flying solo

Humdinger1

All good @twiggy86! How's everything going? Love Humdinger xx

twiggy86

Thanks for reaching out @Humdinger1 - sorry I'm being a bit rubbish at checking in on here!

Everything is still going well - feeling on top of the budget any money! That said I have just borrowed £5k from my parents towards wedding costs. It was planned that we would do this, and parents have zero issues with it but obviously it is debt - with a clear plan on how it's getting paid back. Unfortunately there is little movement on OH's parent's properties, so not such a clear plan on when it will get paid back!

But talking of properties - everything is well underway with the sale of my house and purchase of the new house! OH has been very on top of the chain and is persistently chasing things! There have been a couple of enquiries about my house and the previous building work but I'm hoping nothing is too much of an issue!

Wedding plans are also steaming ahead! We purchased all the kids outfits (flower girls etc) at the weekend and nearly there with bridesmaid dresses, just need to finalise last one as she wasn't sold on the original dresses (they're having different styles). Also trying to find some wedding shoes for me! My dress is champagne colour so proving slightly more difficult to find some that I like, the colour works and aren't ridiculously expensive! (I did fall in love with a pair of shoes but at £600 that isn't happening!)

I am due to get a bonus at the end of this month, so waiting for my payslip to see what I'll actually bring home! Also did some POA forms for a family friend which will get me £100 once that's all sorted - need to drop them off when I have a chance!

This week has been pretty busy - went out for a drink with a friend last night, acro tonight, netball Thursday, line dancing Wednesday then Saturday I'm off to Bath with a few friends! However, keeping on top of the budget, with this all planned for! Oh and I've also been going to the gym with OH every morning before work! Sunday afternoon I am looking forward to sitting down and casting on a new knitting project and chilling out!!! I just have the ends to sew in on my "Christmas vest" (very clearly didn't get completed for Christmas but thankfully it is just a dark red and not full blown Christmas!) as I promised myself I would finish something before I was allowed to start something new!!!

twiggy86

So it's payday tomorrow and so I have received my payslip - although I will ignore my wages until Friday. My £3,000 bonus has equated to an extra £2,292 in my pay. It's a good job OH pushed me to negotiate a guaranteed bonus when I accepted the job, as firm didn't hit target so no one else is getting bonuses. That extra money will come in very handy as the estate agent has said this morning that we should expect to exchange in 3-5 weeks… all getting very real now! So best start sorting out the house!!!

In other money "bits and bobs"… I have about £150 left from my personal spends, so I will shuffle that in to some sort of savings. Still waiting for the compensation about the flight delay to come in, so our joint account currently only has £27 left in it! But we went food shopping last night so don't really need to spend anything else until after payday.

I feel like at the moment I'm doing "ok" money-wise. Just feels like so much is un-known at the moment with upcoming expenses - so I can't properly judge how I'm doing. The reality is that I currently have just over £12k in the bank, before payday. So I'm sure I should feel like I'm doing pretty well!!! However, £5k is allocated towards wedding, and then a lot of it is my various savings pots and emergency fund. So yes I am doing well, but how much do I need to budget for house move?!!?!?!

In non-money news - this week is slightly quieter, just the usual acro tomorrow night and then netball Thursday. We have OH's kids this weekend, so not sure what we've got planned with them. I did attempt to cast on a pair of socks last night but did one round and pulled it all back out again - decided to try again on my lunch break today! Yarn is left over scraps from previous projects and pattern is free! Me and OH went to the gym today, even though I really didn't want to - at least we're both making the most of our memberships! Will need to see if this continues when we move, as new house is further away from the gym and this morning we were running behind as stayed in bed longer than we should! At least we can cancel the gym at any time!

Humdinger1

All looking good @twiggy86! Looking forward to updates when you can love Humdinger xx

_Dolly_Rocker_

Wow all looking great.

I know what you mean though about wanting to know the expenses - that was the worst thing when I bought my flat and was waiting for everything to go through.

Sarahwithlove

Exciting news about the bonus and your move, hopefully you have moved by now :)

twiggy86

Ooops, I really didn't intend to go awol for 2 months!!! Th big update is… there is no big update!!!

The house sale just seems to be continuously delayed! Just come up against another hurdle due to an issue down the chain - something which seems no reason why it shouldn't have been picked up sooner! So getting incredibly frustrated with it! However, the delay gives me extra time to save whilst we have time and the benefit of lower bills (mortgage will increase once we move). So with payday just around the corner, I have £16k in the bank - which seems unreal!!!

I guess there is an update with OH's flat, in that we've decided not to sell it! We had dropped the price so much to try and sell it, but it had reached the point where selling it would have only pocketed a couple of thousand once the mortgage was paid - as OH bought it when prices were a lot higher! So we have decided to hold on to it for now and continue renting it out, although currently on the hunt for a new tenant! It was influenced by the change coming next month to renters rights, so it would have made it more difficult to sell. We will re-visit the position again in the future and may sell it down the line.

OH's dad's house is in the sale process - may even complete before ours at this rate!!! Plan when the money comes in from that will be to pay off our debts (hence why I have still only been paying the minimum on mine) and pay for the wedding - with my parents loaning us any money required in the meantime.

Speaking of the wedding, plans continue to plod along! Got most of the handmade bits sorted - OH has been very creative! Had my wedding dress fitting on Saturday - alterations are costing slightly more than anticipated but not too crazy! It's my hen do next weekend - which is very exciting!!! My bridesmaids have organised everything and had been keeping all plans a secret from me - however last week I received an invite to a murder mystery night for the Saturday night component! And I have to dress as Cruella Deville!!! I have been busy shopping on Vinted and have come up with (what I think!) is an amazing version - which is very much my interpretation! Very excited!!!

twiggy86

Still haven't moved!!!

However, the benefit of the delay is that there won't be much of a gap between us moving and OH receiving his inheritance from the sale of his dad's house - at which time we will be able to pay off all our debts. So given that we are taking on a bigger mortgage, getting rid of the debt payments will ease the pressure. Once we move, we are combing our finances into one joint amount - so we will split everything 50/50. OH has been slightly reticent to do this as he pays maintenance towards his children and feels weird about me effectively contributing towards this - but my view is that I want us to be a team and that means I take on everything that is his (and vice versa). My mum and dad always shared/ split their money and so it's what I think is right once you're married. Ok we won't be married when we move, but it won't be too long after so makes sense to do it from then!

Hen do was great and I didn't spend a penny! (Although I did send my bridesmaids some flowers as a thank you afterwards.) So I think I've decided to use the money I had saved to book some activities for our honeymoon (we're going on a cruise). We aren't intending to do the excursions as would prefer to do our thing (and I have been playing with AI to come up with ideas… beer massage anyone?!) but for our days on the ship I'd quite like to have a couples massage and try the surf machine!!! Invoice has arrived for the venue - but doesn't need to paid until the end of June, so holding off paying for now. Won't be long until the rest of the final amounts need paying - but hopefully this will be after the inheritance is received as we are using that to pay for the wedding as well as the debts.

twiggy86

Well the sale of our house has just fallen through!!! Putting it back on the market and see what happens. So frustrated as it's 5 months in! Plus mortgage rates have moved so will likely be more expensive in the future! But we're putting the house straight back on the market and see what happens!

Thinking we were moving… I had a good chat with OH last night about money moving forward, and it was great to air how I've been feeling! Realistically we will be in a better position, particularly once inheritance comes in and after the debts and wedding are paid for. However, once we combine finances, I have less at my disposal whereas OH is in a better position than currently. So he kept making comments about how much more money he will have - and I had to tell him I don't share his level of "excitement" (not quite the right word.) I did make clear that no part of me wants to change what we'd planned (it was my idea to combine) and that I fully want us to be a team. It was good to get it out in the open, and he helped me see that it is also about me giving up control. As even when I was with ex, all bills etc were down to me to sort, decide, prioritise etc - so combining is new to me!

ArtyJ931

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82004293#Comment_82004293

is there an alternative way to combine where you are both no worse off as this seems unfair? I.e. look at your combined disposable income and then dividing that in half to give the amount you each contribute to the shared pot?