Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my cheating ex his half of a council tax refund?

clarryd

I would definitely give him his share. Don’t make yourself a thief for the sake of a few £££. He may be a cheat but your not a thief. Give him it and have nothing else to do with him, know your worth.

prettyandfluffy

It's a refund, not compensation for your distress.  Repay him - but nothing to stop you giving it to him in 2p and 5p coins and making him collect it,

WYSPECIAL

Tell him you have received a bill from this time and ask if he will contribute half.
if he says yes then tell him later  you’ve got it wrong and offer him half the refund.
If he says no then don’t bother.

CRN

Nah, take the money - he's history and this is your bonus, enjoy the payout

keithyno.1

DEFINITELY don't let him know about it, and you keep every penny of it. Call it karma for him cheating on you. What goes around, comes around.

primrose_penguin

The refund is in your name only so he would never know about it. If you are feeling guilty about keeping it all I would find some way of sending him the £89.50 without having to contact him, if you know where he lives now perhaps a friend could put it through his door for you with a short note explaining where it came from, or if his parents live near, through their letterbox. On the other hand I would imagine it cost you money to have to leave the property and set up again, did he help with that? it doesn't sound liked it. Whatever decision you make, let it be the one that will give you peace of mind and no regrets, and I hope you enjoy your half of the money at least

Credz4

Nope. Keep schtum.....If he ever finds out, its £89 give it to him if he asks otherwise, treat the kids or put it to the heating bill or some such useful thing.

Danien

How much did him cheating on you causing a break up cost you? When it happened to me there was huge financial and emotional cost which the ex certainly did not pay towards.

So no I would not give him half. I also would not have contacted him if I had to pay that money either - just not worth the stress.

And having been in contact with my ex after a long time, him wanting to be friends, it turned out he hadn't changed at all, had carried on cheating on other partners, harming the children involved by the family breakdown that happened when the partners found out, and in fact was almost bragging about cheating on them, plus in each case he seemed convinced his cheating was his partner's fault. I'm over my experience with him (been in a very happy marriage for several decades), but my mind keeps going back to the 'step' children he hurt and doesn't care about or want to see - can't get my head around that bit. So maybe I'm a bit biased I suppose.

mimgable

It would be theft, as it’s his money as he paid it for council tax. So his money has been refunded by the council as well as yours. His behaviour at a later date irrelevant 

Bigphil1474

If the Council refunded the person on the bill, the money belongs to the person on the bill. If that is just you, keep it. If it's both of you, then share it. If you'd had a bill from the council saying you'd underpaid, would you have asked him to send you some money? If not, then i think it's fine to keep it.