Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give my cheating ex his half of a council tax refund?

ANTONYSAGE

Yes you should!  And when he sees his refund he will be reminded of how stupid he was to cheat on such an honest girl.

BHeath2Bay

You said the bill was in your name only, so your ex is not involved. The refund is yours alone.

Ringo90

If you had owed that money to the council, would you have gone through the trouble of contacting him after several years to get his £89? And would he have agreed to pay his half even though only your name is on the bill (so he can legally refuse as you're the only one liable)? Consider these questions.
Also, usually I would say that morally giving him his half is the right thing to do, and I would have certainly thought so if you amicably decided to go separate ways. In this case, his cheating and the consequent breaking up + moving out has caused you a huge amount of distress and also the usual expenses of moving out. All this is worth much more than £89 and I don't think he offered to help you with the costs of moving out. So I wouldn't worry.

JaneyS74

I would say NO don’t give it to him. He won’t ever know about it and after the way he treat you then he doesn’t deserve it. Buy yourself something 😊

squirrel59

Be great to say 'Keep it, buy a crate of Prosecco, have a party, and stuff his cheating a**e', but given that you're asking this question in the first place, I think the only response is to give him his half. Don't expect gratitude, but the fact is that it's not going to make you feel better to cheat back. Boring, innit? But true.

bluelad1927

Its completely irrelevant what the OP would have done if the amount was a debtIf they hadn't contacted their ex then that's a personal decision with no idea how he would have responded.

 Keeping somebodys money regardless of the circumstances is wrong  and only the person can justify whatever action they choose to take.

Chazza22

I'd keep it, and as it was from 2016/17 so it snot like he would be missing it. I would save my self the anguish of contacting him and its likely he would never know anyway. Also, would he send you the money if he was in your shoes? I doubt it if there's bad blood there. 

Bahhumbug

The only relevance here of your partner cheating is the possibility that contacting your ex after all this time might open a can of worms, especially if you parted badly...

So, working on the assumption that you're not talking and you had already (unknowingly!) written the money off, give all of it to charity - including your half. Ie, make some good come from this.

A super easy option is to use Amazon's charity 'wishlists' to buy items they actually want / desperately need.

Bellisima

To contact him may cause you anguish so I wouldn’t let him know.  He doesn’t deserve it.

Ed264

Keep it. And keep quiet!