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An in-between phase
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Thank you @beanielou.
I think I'm having extra trouble processing it as he was the healthiest, fittest, most chilled person anyone ever knew. It's just absolute madness to have outlived him. It's madness that anyone has outlived him. My emotions feel like a little child going 'but I don't understand'.
There wasn't even any cancer of any type in his family at all so I can't even go 'well these genetic predispositions lurk and its a reminder to make the most of your time and enjoy it', I just don't understand
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6466032/an-in-between-phase/p1
'self-blame can be as egotistical as self-praise... any work worth doing is greater than we are... we must not overrate our importance to it, either for good or ill' Margaret Kennedy Lucy Carmichael3 -
I get this I really do. I had a family member die in their early forties. He was just a bit older than me. He was the healthy fit one who did all sorts of activies. One moment he was here & then just gone just like that.PennysIntoPounds said:Thank you @beanielou.
I think I'm having extra trouble processing it as he was the healthiest, fittest, most chilled person anyone ever knew. It's just absolute madness to have outlived him. It's madness that anyone has outlived him. My emotions feel like a little child going 'but I don't understand'.
There wasn't even any cancer of any type in his family at all so I can't even go 'well these genetic predispositions lurk and its a reminder to make the most of your time and enjoy it', I just don't understand
That side of the family which was small gone within a few years. Anyway, I hear you.I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb. ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger.
One debt remaining. Home improvement loan. 21 months left.1 -
I don’t have any wise words but sending hugs and Nil Carborundum Illegitimus! about the poxy broker … 🙄
KKAs at 15.02.26:
- When bought house £315,995 mortgage debt and end date at start = October 2039 - now £220,873
- OPs to mortgage = £12,881 Estd. interest saved = £6,203 to date
c. 16 months reduction in term
Fixed rate 3.85% ends October 2030
Read 14 books of target 52 in 2026 as @ 15th February.
Produce tracker: £44 of £400 in 2026
Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
Watch your words, they become your actions.Watch your actions, they become your reality.3 -
I get it too, PiP. One of my two very best friends died suddenly a few years ago. She was 53 - she was very fit, didn't drink much, never smoked or did drugs, walked everywhere, went to the gym twice a week & didn't have any degenerative illnesses. It makes it a lot harder to come to terms with the loss when, as you say, the understanding of the situation is missing.
F x2026's challenges: 1) To rebuild our Emergency Fund to at least £5k.
2) To read 50 books (5/50) 3) The Re-Shrinking of Foxgloves 8.1kg/30kg3 -
I hear you. The unexplained sudden deaths are so hard to process.
Made it to mortgage free but what a muddle that became
In the event the proverbial hits the fan then co-habitees are better stashing their cash than being mortgage free !!2 -
Thank you my dear chums. I'm sorry for everyone else's losses too.
Good thing I'm not particularly fit and healthy, seems to be very bad for you.
My brain was making up sad songs in my dreams so hopefully a bit of lamenting has helped the mourning process.
Our friends are away looking after their friends house so we're going to go and stay at theirs for a couple of nights to have a mini holiday (in South London). Keeping an eye on emails in case any last minute pick-ups needed on the client job then Mr PIP will drive us over this afternoon.
Then some beers at one of our favourite pubs then a nice Italian in one of our favourite restaurants.
There are things to enjoy and achieve so I'd better bloody go and enjoy and achieve them whether I like it or not!https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6466032/an-in-between-phase/p1
'self-blame can be as egotistical as self-praise... any work worth doing is greater than we are... we must not overrate our importance to it, either for good or ill' Margaret Kennedy Lucy Carmichael7 -
IMHO it isn't understandable. It is entirely nonsensical and random...
If you have built castles in the air, your work should not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them
Emergency fund 1400/1000
Buffer fund 100/100
Debt Free (again) 25/07/20251 -
Hope you're enjoying the change of scenery?
(I like the idea of this kind of baton relay of house sitting - a very civilised way of going on )
#jealousyoftheitalianmeal ....
There are things to do; both enjoy and achieve, but you need to be kind to yourself too. You are allowed to find it hard. It's been one heart-blow after another lately for you.
KKAs at 15.02.26:
- When bought house £315,995 mortgage debt and end date at start = October 2039 - now £220,873
- OPs to mortgage = £12,881 Estd. interest saved = £6,203 to date
c. 16 months reduction in term
Fixed rate 3.85% ends October 2030
Read 14 books of target 52 in 2026 as @ 15th February.
Produce tracker: £44 of £400 in 2026
Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
Watch your words, they become your actions.Watch your actions, they become your reality.2 -
Thanks @KajiKita.
Saves us all a fortune on accommodation to swap gaffs occasionally for a change of scenery. Italian was closed unfortunately but we'll just have to come back!
Finished some books, ate and drank nice things, slept lots. Back up t'North London later then going to continue being chilled and not making myself do anything productive and eat and drink more nice things. Mr PIP off to a family wedding tomorrow, decided since I've never met the people getting married we'd save on train fares by me not going. Got best friends who were also close with ex husband coming round for drinks and reminiscing tomorrow instead.
Then hopefully starting the working week in a productive manner.
Need to sort out paying builder who's having a panic about not having money to pay for supplies despite having invoiced us out of contract agreement.
Need to chase broker for valuer agreement of actual measurement, then see if any alterations need to be done to offer. Then approach Community Infrastructure Levy team and see what the damage is and find money for that.
And everything else on the list!
But first, beer and pasta and being a lazy a*se.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend 🍻https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6466032/an-in-between-phase/p1
'self-blame can be as egotistical as self-praise... any work worth doing is greater than we are... we must not overrate our importance to it, either for good or ill' Margaret Kennedy Lucy Carmichael3 -
Happy Saturday- enjoy the 🍺 and 🍝I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)2
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