Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay more for our holiday because it's one my partner won't like?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I usually let my partner decide where we go on holiday, but have found one I'd really like to go on. It's more expensive than what we usually budget for, but I'm prepared to save up so we can afford it. The catch is that the holiday won't be to my partner's liking - it's not the sort of thing he's interested in at all. Should I offer to pay more because it's more 'for me', or should we split the cost evenly like we always have because he usually decides where we go?

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p00hsticks

If it were me, I'd be either look into going by myself or finding someone who shares my interest to go with, and then have a separate holiday with my partner that you can both enjoy.

I wouldn't dream of asking my partner to accompany me on a holiday that they have absolutely no interest in, let alone expect them to be paying towards it. 

TELLIT01

I can't imagine ever dragging my partner onto a holiday I know they wouldn't like.  Not only would they have a miserable time, they would take all my enjoyment out of the holiday too.

oldernonethewiser

You are planning an expensive holiday that you will enjoy and your partner will hate.

Do not go on this holiday with this person.  Money will not make it better.

In future when planning try to come to a joint decision "I usually let my partner decide" is never a good basis.  For anything

hannerrbabes

Find someone who'll enjoy it to go with, or go alone. 

Maat

Given that your partner normally gets his own way with regard to holidays I'd say to not offer to pay more this time. You've had to pay several times for holidays which were more for him so it's time he did the same. If he'd asked you to pay extra I assume you would have mentioned so I'd leave it.

CapeTown

So my partner was not a traveller.  He didn't have  a passport.  He evegot one and we travelled.  He loves Africa and France.  Totally outside his comfort zone 

CAlexM

Isn't that part of being in a relationship? Assuming he won't absolutely hate it; go together - maybe he'll discover something new and enjoy it!

Presstotest

You must let your partner know you’ve found this holiday and you’d really like to go, then going by their reaction you can go from there. If they agree fine but if they say they would hate it , it would not be fair to expect them to go ,and probably wouldn’t be a happy holiday anyhow. I don’t think money is the issue here.

Bubs15

Go alone - why put someone through something they're going to hate. 

Or 

If they agree to go fully knowing all the details and still agree to go, I would say it's their responsibility to pay.

[Deleted User]

I find the question, and some of the responses, odd.  You obviously feel justified in taking this holiday and equally sharing the cost, just as you mention you have in the past to your partners benefit, so why ask for reassurance from others?  As for recommendations to take separate holidays, it depends what sort of relationship you have, but I would expect to spend my annual holiday as a shared experience with my loved ones, and if that means they have to show some interest in my interests, so be it.  I hoe they would do it as gladly for me as I do for them.  For our loved ones, we all do things we don't want to do, pleased to please them.  I am terrified of flying, even when I arrive I am all too aware that in a few days I have to face the flight back.  This puts a blight on overseas holidays for me, but it hasn't prevented me joining my family, and with good grace, and a bit of give and take, making the best of it (even though I never removed my seat belt on the four-hour flight back from Malta!).