Money Moral Dilemma: Should we change our wills following our daughter's death?

ripongrammargirl

I am horribly in debt and have been for 20 years (the debt cycle of a disabled person) but I don’t expect to be left anything in my parent’s wills, even though it would be the end of my financial nightmare. How does anyone know what is in their parent’s wills anyway? I get to know nothing about any aspect of my parent’s situation, despite asking many times so I know what they want, including health, finances, location of documents/solicitors etc. I have always told them to spend all savings on themselves but now Dad has Parkinson’s and mum not great either, they don’t do much or go anywhere so it may come to me (and definitely my sister who is the favoured child), but with rising costs just for breathing these days I will be amazed if there is anything left!
Children, and certainly grandchildren, should not expect anything left to them as we all need to stand on our own two feet, make decisions and cope with any major events that ruins your life- like in my case, where I have had zero financial help with anything despite my disabilities.

Willeri

Your choice what to do, no right or wrong, or fair or unfair, but is it your grandsons fault his mum died for his inheritance purposes? 

RSD7a

It's a very personal choice. Our grown up children have different financial circumstances and different numbers of children. All that's irrelevant in our view for inheritance purposes. We simply divide up our estate equally between them. What they pass on to their children and how they use it is up to them. To differentiate between them, to us, feels like setting up the potential for a lifetime of ill feeling.

Hels1955

The Will should normally have stated a 50:50 share between the two daughters then if one of them predeceased you (as has now happened), the children of the deceased (regardless of number) should inherit that share.

Spendless

Marcon said:

Spendless said:

Marcon said:

What happens if you or your husband dies and then remarries?

As marriage invalidates a will (at least in England unsure about anywhere else) then you either have to go and make another or accept the rules of intestacy kick in. 

Quite - but it opens a whole new set of scenarios which OP doesn't seem to have considered (so too does divorce, come to that!).

I should have said 'if the survivor remarries' since marriage beyond the grave doesn't count on earth!

Well no, our recently made will doesn't stipulate what happens should either of us re-marry if we divorce or when the first of us dies. The solicitor did tell us he expected us back every few years to update the will (or sooner if we went through a major change of circs or did something that invalidated it)

Harry_Hardup

MSE_Kelvin said:

"Our youngest was a single parent with one son, and was renting, and we stipulated 40% to her and 10% to her son - she sadly passed away last year, so her son now stands to inherit 50%."

As your gift to his mother will fail, does your Will stipulate that he will inherit her share were she to pre-decease you? If no provision is made to distribute the deceased daughter's share it may fall outside the Will and have to be disposed of according to the rules of intestacy. I would consult your solicitor urgently.

As to what is "fair" that can only be determined when all the circumstances are known.

Babsiebaby882

Each child and her family were to receive 50% of your estates. 

That money in turn would have been spent by each family. 

Now your single parent daughter has passed away her share should go to her; that child has no other inheritance and if you had passed away before their mum passed they would have received the full 50%. 

Your other daughters children will likely inherit their mums mortgage free house. The other grandchild doesn’t have that luxury.

Therefore, I would have my will amended so that my deceased daughters share now goes to her child. My other daughter and her children receiving a 30/10/10 split. 

I hope this helps you make a decision and I am so sorry for your loss xxx

yorsiwel

What I would do is leave 50% to your daughter and 50% to your deceased daughter's son. That seems fairest to me, as you are treating your daughters equally and otherwise one of your grandsons is losing out because his mother died. If your surviving daughter wishes to give some of the money to her sons that's up to her and it sounds as if she is in a better financial position to help her sons than your other daughter was.  

kvasir

I think it's fairer to split the proceeds equally between the members of the next generation, and then it's up to them to decide how much they give to their offspring. But if you want to ensure your grandsons get something I'd give your daughter 30%, her two sons 10% each, and the other 50% I'd give to your grandson who lost his mum.

Bonnypitlad

I echo ClaraSais comment, I am sorry for your loss
I recently amended my Will because circumstances had changed, the solicitor played “ what if”, it would have taken a computer to work out all the possible computations. I have had to endeavour to live forever 
IMHO 50% to your daughter, 50% to your bereaved grandson 
And don’t divorce and remarry!