Money Moral Dilemma: Should we change our wills following our daughter's death?

twopenny

How old is the grandson?

Is he a child or young adult and who do they live with?

Or are they an adult with a career?

That makes a difference.

As someone who's mother died young and single while I was a child, I may be biased but I am forever grateful to my grandmother for leaving her son the cash and the house to me.

It was tough keeping the house on a single income but I did it and have been forever grateful. No way could I have made my way through the world without a roof over my head. On a single income I couldn't have got a mortgage. It's the lack of support as you tackle life.

I think you do need to talk to your remaining children. You don't have to do as they say but their opinion may put your mind at rest. You can only hope.

From my point of view it should have been split equally between your children with your deceased daughters portion going to her son. That is most likely to be fair and you can feel reassuared that her son has a start in life.

If he is very young it may be worth putting it in trust.

Datadolly

I don't understand the need to stipulate provision for your grandchildren, unless you don't trust your children to distribute sensibly. Unless you feel one daughter was lesser than the other surely it goes 50-50 (therefore now 50% to your grandson - as this is who his mother would have left her estate to - who incidentally now has no parental support mechanism, emotional or financial)?

Ellacleverley

I'm sorry in my view there is only one fair way to deal with this and that's to leave your late daughters share to fall to her son, as would have happened if she has died, say a day after your estate was settled. He will lose his mother for the rest of his life and will get no further inheritance. He will need whatever help he can get to get set up in life - his mum is no longer around to financially support him through university, setting up home, going travelling or anything your other grandchildren might get to do without so much as a thought. Please don't disadvantage him any further, he has suffered enough. 
I'm sorry about your daughter. Hope this is all sorted soon x 

BJV

Firstly so sorry for your loss I hope never to find out what it is like to lose a child. 

That said I think Twopenny said it all.

It has to be a fair split. Regardless of how many children your daughters have or what stage of life they are in. 50% IMO has to go to your late daughter's child. depending on their age and the amounts, perhaps a trust or perhaps staged equity release. 

What a fantastic legacy to leave. After all they will need all the support they can get both emotional and financial. 

 

grassmarket

Your estate: your decision. 

We don’t know your family or circumstances enough to form a valid opinion.

But - whatever you decide - let them know NOW. 

Don’t bequeath them the extra unwanted legacy of a family rift.

jedav

It depends whether you want to share out the money at the child or grandchild level, or equally between your relatives.  Neither is more, or less, "fair" and you may have other considerations to factor in such as their relative financial positions.  Of course, your family may have other ideas as to fairness - could you discuss it with them first?  Don't assume that the single grandchild will receive the mother's "share" under your current wills - the wills would need to be expressly worded in that way.

ellie99

Quite a few posters are making the assumption that the grandson now has no parental support and will never inherit from anyone else. Nowhere in the OP does it say that his father is not on the scene, just that his mother was a single parent. It could be that his parents have separated but he still sees his father regularly.

Regardless, I also feel that the grandson who has lost his mother should inherit the 50% which would have been her share.

Emmia

Spendless said:

Marcon said:

Spendless said:

Marcon said:

What happens if you or your husband dies and then remarries?

As marriage invalidates a will (at least in England unsure about anywhere else) then you either have to go and make another or accept the rules of intestacy kick in. 

Quite - but it opens a whole new set of scenarios which OP doesn't seem to have considered (so too does divorce, come to that!).

I should have said 'if the survivor remarries' since marriage beyond the grave doesn't count on earth!

Well no, our recently made will doesn't stipulate what happens should either of us re-marry if we divorce or when the first of us dies. The solicitor did tell us he expected us back every few years to update the will (or sooner if we went through a major change of circs or did something that invalidated it)

If you divorce and one of you gets remarried wills get invalidated anyway (and why should a former spouse have any influence over the current spouse in terms of inheritance/provisions in a will) -

The contents of a will are the view that the person making it had at the point in time it was made, based on their circumstances at the time. 

Personally I think it should be a 50/50 split between the daughters, with the motherless grandson getting her 50% share.

PaulineSH

Why stop your grandson from inheriting his mothers portion of your estate?
I don’t agree with leaving percentages to grandchildren - I consider it more fair if your estate is equally split between your children. If they predecease you, their children then receive what would have been their parent’s.

Squidgysooty

My two pennyworth is this...
Initially you decided that your estate should be split equally between your two daughters families.  50% down each line. 
I believe that was the fairest way.  Presumably, if your two daughters had made wills they would have chosen the same split after their deaths. Your eldest splitting her 30% between her two children thereby getting 25% each of your estate.(50% in total on that side of your family). Your youngest daughter leaving all of her 40% to her only child (assuming she had no more children by then) there by getting 50% of your estate. 
To me it seems logical and fair to maintain that same percentage split down each side of your family. 50% to your eldest side and 50% to your youngests side. You may wish to stipulate the grandchildren bequeaths to be left in trust until a time that they are of an age to spend it responsibly. To change your will to leave 25% to your daughter and each grandchildren would infact skew the split to 75% down your eldest daughters line and only 25% down your youngest daughters. This seems very unfair to me.
Some may even argue that the grandchild who has already lost his/her parent may be in need of more financial help than the other two, who presumably have more financial stability and both parents to support them financially and emotionally.  They after all will potentially gain further bequeaths from their parents estate later down the line, leaving them a share in the house their parents have bought etc. 
Good luck.