First timer seeking accountability

HearThem

Hi all! 👋 

Firstly I am a long time lurker 👀 first time poster. 

Little obligational background for context: 

32 year old married mum of 3 aged almost 18, 8 and almost 3! 

Was in an abusive relationship from age 13 until I managed to flee with my son in 2010. Met my now husband late 2011 and the rest is history. We have two kids with additional needs (eldest and middle). I am a full time carer to the eldest but starting a degree with The Open University in September when he starts college, providing all goes well with the transition. 

We have high debt (peaked at £33313 in October 2022 ) but thanks to some extra income that we have available until September 2024 we’re managing to throw a lot of money each month to clear it. We have a long way to go in terms of managing finances better and will post a SOA when I figure out how to do so from my phone. 

I realise we are in a privileged position in this climate but that won’t necessarily always be the case as life likes to show us so I’m really hopeful we can get rid of the remaining debt (currently £18565.45) and hopefully start saving towards the children’s future - but let’s not get ahead of ourselves!

Thanks for reading 😊

HearThem

Currently sat nursing a vomiting middle child feeling rather queasy myself 🤢

Household Information

Number of adults in household........... 2

Number of children in household......... 3

Number of cars owned.................... 2

Number of pets 🐶🐶🐱🐰🐰……5

Monthly Income Details

Monthly income after tax................307

Partners monthly income after tax....... 2854

Benefits................................ 1117 (2x Child Disability+Child benefit)

Other income............................ 1682

Total monthly income.................... 5960

Monthly Expense Details

Secured/HP loan repayments..............245.31

Rent.................................... 521.14

Council tax............................. 213

Electricity............................. 300 (this is the minimum OVO will accept to clear historic balance)

Water rates............................. 0 (Scotland)

Vodafone…………..117 (3x mobile, landline, broadband) 

TV Licence.............................. 0

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 800 (2x sensory eaters so often 3x different meals prepared a night 😔)

Clothing................................ 0

Petrol/diesel........................... 240

Car Road tax................................ 14.43

Car Insurance........................... 23.30

Van tax…………………………………25.43

Van insurance………………………..25

Vehicle maintenance (including MOT).........0 (we usually take this from the emergency fund) 

Other child related expenses............ 228

Pet insurance/vet bills/food etc................. 150

Life assurance ......................... 33.01

Union………………………………16.25

Spotify family…………………….16.99

Disney plus………………………..7.99

Hp instant ink……………..2.99

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)......100

Haircuts................................ 0

Entertainment/Miscellaneous ..........................250

Holiday................................. 250

Emergency fund.......................... 200

Total monthly expenses..................3779.84

Unsecured debt payments

Personal loan ……………………………255.24

Lloyds credit cards…………………….650

BOS credit card………………………….500

Unsecured debt balances

Personal loan …….10490.61 (April 2027) 

Lloyds CC …….4150 0% until Feb ‘24

BOS CC …….2700 0% until Feb ‘24

Monthly Budget Summary

Total monthly income....................5960

Expenses (including HP & secured debts)…………………3779.84 

Available for debt repayments.........2181.16

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments.....…………….1405.24

Amount left after debt repayments.....………774.92 

We currently have £500 in the emergency fund and budget refreshes tomorrow. Our budgeting skills aren’t upto much and although it says we should have £774.92 left today we absolutely do not and manage to go over the above estimates each month. Must learn to get a firmer hold on finances and make the most of this opportunity to become debt free. 

HearThem

Me again with some further reading if anyone fancies it. Thankfully no more vomit since this morning 🤞🏼

We live in a 3 bed detached house in remote Scotland. No family support on either side. Not sure the relevance on this post but trying to paint a picture of family life. 

Wanted to delve into fuel costs - currently estimated to be around £240 pm but quite often goes over if we have to travel to medical appointments etc.

Our littlest starts nursery in August on the days the eldest is planning to attend college (3 days a week). The college is 16 miles away from home with no suitable bus links for his needs so I will be doing the drop off/collection. This will tie in with nursery/school commute too which is 9 miles from home. The days will go like this home > college > school/nursery > home to study myself > school/nursery > college > home. The most fuel efficient way to make this work requires driving 64 miles each day. That’s currently a lot more than I currently drive so the fuel bill will go up. The two days a week we don’t have nursery/college the middle child will catch the free school bus. 

Husband works 16 miles from home also but in the opposite direction and unsuitable times to car share unfortunately. We have considered him getting a motorbike instead of replacing his van with a car but a car is far more practical year round for his commute. 

He is trying to cycle at least once a week to save on fuel costs. 

Four_Seasons

Hi, welcome, I will be cheering you on x

HearThem

PS. First day of Summer holidays here today so I think we’ll need a “Summer holiday budget” which is currently NIL so there goes some of that £774 this month 🫠

I do however have £500 spends sat aside for a pre-planned holiday to Cornwall for myself and the 8 and 2 year old. Have rented an Air b&b near some friends for the second week in August before the schools go back. Husband is staying at home with the teen to give me some respite for the first time in 17 years 🥺 

We will be flying Gla-Brs and being collected by friends for the last leg. Will have to book a Premier Inn for the night before flying out but will take that from the £500 pot. Only going Mon-Fri so hopefully we can stick to that budget at least! 🤞🏼

peb

I'd suggest booking the premier Inn sooner than later, it's holiday time so expensive plus they usually get dearer the nearer to stay

I think you need that break!

HearThem

peb said:

I'd suggest booking the premier Inn sooner than later, it's holiday time so expensive plus they usually get dearer the nearer to stay

I think you need that break!

Thanks Peb! I’ll get onto that now. I’m now wondering whether logistically I’d be better driving down early hours on the Monday as opposed to paying for the hotel Sunday night? 

It would mean leaving home around 04:30 with two children. We are around 2.5 hours drive away from Glasgow airport and the flight departs at 08:50. 

Will have breakfast in the airport but will have to pack middle child’s food as she doesn’t eat outwith the home at all other than plain rice and peas from the Premier Inn restaurant chain! 🥴

To complicate logistics I’m too anxious for city driving so it may end up the husband driving us down, which obviously increases fuel costs. Will look into train/bus options and make a decision tonight. Maybe an evening drive down when the roads are quiet would be achievable solo, we’ll see 😅

CRANKY40

So...organisation.....A lot of people on here use spreadsheets but I've always used a book for my monthly budgeting. You need a wide column for writing the item in and two columns at the edge. One for minus or plus whatever you're adding or taking away and the last one will be your balance after the spend or income. Mine looks a bit like this

Start                                                            £1000.00
Tax credits        03/07       +£60.00             £1060.00
Tax credits        10/07       +£60.00             £1120.00
Tax credits        17/07       +£60.00             £1180.00
Tax credits         24/07      +£60.00             £1240.00
Tax credits         31/07       +£60.00            £1300.00
Pension             10/07       +500.00           £1800.00

Then I list all the direct debits so

Gas/electric                       -£150.00            £1650.00
Water                                 -£ 45.00             £1605.00
Christmas                           -£60.00             £ 1545.00 

You get the idea...next comes food....
Groceries              03/07      -£75.00             £1470.00
Groceries              10/07       -£75.00            £ 1395.00

and petrol. Don't guess, over estimate if you have to. I list mine per week but sometimes fill up 2 weekly. It doesn't matter as long as you've allowed for it so yours would look like

Fuel me                03/07         -£50.00             £1345.00
Fuel him               03/07         -£50.00             £1295.00
Fuel me                10/07         -£50.00             £1245.00
Fuel him               17/07         -£50.00             £1195.00

Then the important bit given that it's school hols. My House Troll is 18 now but when he was small (I was widowed when he was 4 hence the pension) we had a category called "pocket money". If you have a separate account to transfer this to weekly then even better. This covers outings, junk/treasure that children want/need according to them, takeaways, food if you're out etc. When it's gone it's gone and they or you wait until next week. Even the House Troll who has dyscalculia understood this concept. 

Pocket money         03/07          -£80.00            £1115.00
Pocket money         10/07          -£80.00            £1035.00

As you pay or use each amount tick it off. By doing this you can see at a glance how much money you have left available for the month rather than using your debit card and hoping for the best. It's also great when you pay a debt off and see the amount left at the end of the payments start to rise. I can't live in chaos so when I was widowed this was the best way for me of being sure that I had enough money coming in to pay everything. Good luck 😊

HearThem

CRANKY40 said:

So...organisation.....A lot of people on here use spreadsheets but I've always used a book for my monthly budgeting. You need a wide column for writing the item in and two columns at the edge. One for minus or plus whatever you're adding or taking away and the last one will be your balance after the spend or income. Mine looks a bit like this

Start                                                            £1000.00
Tax credits        03/07       +£60.00             £1060.00
Tax credits        10/07       +£60.00             £1120.00
Tax credits        17/07       +£60.00             £1180.00
Tax credits         24/07      +£60.00             £1240.00
Tax credits         31/07       +£60.00            £1300.00
Pension             10/07       +500.00           £1800.00

Then I list all the direct debits so

Gas/electric                       -£150.00            £1650.00
Water                                 -£ 45.00             £1605.00
Christmas                           -£60.00             £ 1545.00 

You get the idea...next comes food....
Groceries              03/07      -£75.00             £1470.00
Groceries              10/07       -£75.00            £ 1395.00

and petrol. Don't guess, over estimate if you have to. I list mine per week but sometimes fill up 2 weekly. It doesn't matter as long as you've allowed for it so yours would look like

Fuel me                03/07         -£50.00             £1345.00
Fuel him               03/07         -£50.00             £1295.00
Fuel me                10/07         -£50.00             £1245.00
Fuel him               17/07         -£50.00             £1195.00

Then the important bit given that it's school hols. My House Troll is 18 now but when he was small (I was widowed when he was 4 hence the pension) we had a category called "pocket money". If you have a separate account to transfer this to weekly then even better. This covers outings, junk/treasure that children want/need according to them, takeaways, food if you're out etc. When it's gone it's gone and they or you wait until next week. Even the House Troll who has dyscalculia understood this concept. 

Pocket money         03/07          -£80.00            £1115.00
Pocket money         10/07          -£80.00            £1035.00

As you pay or use each amount tick it off. By doing this you can see at a glance how much money you have left available for the month rather than using your debit card and hoping for the best. It's also great when you pay a debt off and see the amount left at the end of the payments start to rise. I can't live in chaos so when I was widowed this was the best way for me of being sure that I had enough money coming in to pay everything. Good luck 😊

Thanks for this Cranky40. We have recently opened a joint monzo account for keeping track of spending and can set budgets on there to see what we’re both spending to hold us accountable. I spend a lot of money on unnecessary kid related “stuff” and the husband is impartial to cake/coffee while at work so I’ll try making an additional “pocket money” pot for the holidays and see how we get on 🤞🏼

Brie

Saw this thread due to the other 2 you've recently posted and wondered how you were getting on with things.  And hoped you enjoyed your holiday in August.  

First off - let me say how impressed I am at how much debt you've cleared in the last year to posting your SOA.  it shows real determination.  Obviously the change of circumstances with oldest child will have an impact to all your plans so hopefully someone will be able to help on that bit and that some solution appears on what's to be done in general. 

And now the questions...

• Am I right in assuming you have no TV license because you never watch live TV or BBC iPlayer? Or is it a Scottish thing?
• And obviously you are getting a lot from your package with Vodafone but is there anyway you can get all that for less?  Our phone/landline is about £45 and 2 mobile sim only plans are a total of £25.  if you're mid contract this may not be the time but might be something to consider in the future.
• what are the various rates for your loan and cards?  I know you say the cards are 0% currently but that will change in Feb so that's the rate to look out for.  Generally I know that loans have relatively low interest so i'd be leaving that I guess.  But for the cards - you look to be paying on both well above the minimum so hopefully you will be clearing as much as possible the one that will have the highest interest in Feb.  If by chance they are the same I'd clear the smaller amount first on the off chance they might give you another 0% BT deal by Feb so you could continue to have as low as possible payments for much longer.

Best of luck with your ongoing campaign!!!

HearThem

@Brie thank you for your response. Our current debt is sitting at £12568.85! So definitely some progress made. 

The child maintenance from my other post is a substantial sum to be losing but I’ll post an updated SOA once we figure out how best to move forward. 

To answer your questions 

- no TV licence as we only have Disney Plus for kids. I’m always asleep alongside them when possible due to all three having through the night needs

- moving son’s contract to a basic Sim only deal on the 28th when his contract is up. He doesn’t leave the house at all now there will be no school or college so it’ll only be used on the very rare occasion. 

- I’m focusing on clearing the two cards by February. Lloyds has £2500 balance and BOS £1000 currently 

There was a delay to starting my open uni course but I’m hoping to go ahead, even with the eldest at home full time. The youngest has a free nursery place three days a week so should hopefully manage to fit it in.