First timer seeking accountability

peb

Gulp.  Yes.  Tbh £200 is ok someone as no work needed.

And is the housing association house in your area or the town?

My admiration to you on dealing with everything.

HearThem

peb said:

Gulp.  Yes.  Tbh £200 is ok someone as no work needed.

And is the housing association house in your area or the town?

My admiration to you on dealing with everything.

Thank you Peb! I think I’m just rather naive when it comes to ongoing vehicle costs! 

In regards to the new application we have used town as a base of what area we’d like to be in without actually naming town as a chosen area. I’ve noted on our application we would like to be more rural for our adult son’s needs and happy with around a 30 minute radius of town so fingers crossed 🤞🏼 

I heard back from the OT who carried out our housing adaption request this morning and she said : 

“Shared ownership and extensions have been ruled out at present by (Housing association). Doing the housing application is the best you can do at present as it highlights the need. I'll update you when I'm able to give you anything more concrete about other discussions that are happening but it's all in the very early stages and will take time.”

Sounds intriguing! 🤔 

HearThem

Pickup service was £316! Hope it’s a straightforward sale but unlikely with our geography. 

He has called round a few garages but not being offered as much as expected for trade in so he’s looking at a few sales sites. I’m feeling uneasy about the whole thing. 

Husband spent £8 today in a cafe while in town, picked up paint for the kitchen for £31 and £6 in pets@home to replace some filter boost a friend had brought us to sort middle child’s tank. Also £36 on groceries, which should have been around £15 so not sure what extras he sneaked in. 

I had a day at home with the children, learning and playing. Also booked middle child into 2x Art sessions. 2 hours per session so £20 total. In the new year I plan to enrol her in the new after school classes. £66 for a block of 11 classes lasting 1h 15mins each. She’s excited to finally find a club to suit her so I’m equally delighted! 

HearThem

Looking to be another NSD here. We did a morning of marine related learning. 4yo did some colouring, matching shapes, identified sea creatures and labelled parts of a fish. 9yo wrote a fish based story which she read aloud. She is dyslexic and has unstable finger joints due to Hypermobility so this always seems like such a big deal. Very proud of her. 

Husband then took them and the dogs to the beach since he’s home today while I caught up on housework which was nice. He is now making lunch while I relax for 10 minutes then I’ll do some science or sensory play with the kids and negotiate getting 19yo up and through his daily routine. 

He will be working his way through car wow, motorway and we buy any car this afternoon to see what’s our best route to go down. He has now agreed going down to one car may be wise for the Winter months as I’m planning to attend select home ed activities and hunker down most days at home, using his days off to venture further afield. 

HearThem

Pick-up listed with Carwow. Hope it sells hassle free. 

Today has been difficult. 19yo didn’t go to bed until 8am when I had to take his phone to allow him to switch off and sleep. He was not happy and had an expected meltdown which lasted ages. 

Tried some lion based learning as requested by the 4yo but couldn’t find any suitable resources so ended up continuing our fish keeping/marine life research instead. 

Then came across and purchased a year’s subscription to Nessy while researching dyslexia teaching resources. It was 60% off for Black Friday so paid £56.39. Hoping it helps build 9yo’s confidence. 

Then booked 4yo into a gymnastics class, turned up for the first class today and he could not engage at all. Cried it was too loud, even with his ear defenders on. Said he would go back to play on the equipment if there were no other children. Sad he finds things so difficult and frustrating as I couldn’t book a trial or one week session so paid £19.50 for three classes which I very much doubt he can partake in. Have contacted to see if they will refund the next two classes but not hopeful. 

Then popped into Tesco where he had a meltdown because I wouldn’t buy him a £10 fashion ring from the ladies clothing section because he has the same ring at home. He’s a little magpie for anything shiny. He doesn’t play in a typical way and collects items for fun. 

We settled for some silver and gold string beads for the Christmas tree for £1 each. 

Finished the evening with fish for the little one and chips x2 for the older two from the chip shop to save me trying to navigate cooking 3 versions of tea tonight. 

So overall a pretty expensive and emotionally draining day. 

Tomorrow I was thinking about trying to attend the local carer’s meet at soft play with the little two. It gets booked out exclusively for children of carer’s but again the 4yo finds it too noisy and struggles to join in and the 9yo probably finds it a bit boring now. 

Writing that out it makes me realise it’s just not accessible for them at all. I’m really struggling trying to discover what is?! 

Perhaps we will go look at the local Christmas tree festival, assuming it’s not too busy. 

Feeling sad and overwhelmed by reality / responsibility this evening. 

Sarahwithlove

I hope you find something that you can all do. Sadly at the moment everywhere just seems to be so busy! The amount of cars on the road is madness even midweek during the day! 

ladybird1106

Sending virtual hugs. I too have an adult child (19yrs) with multiple disabilities who can have regular meltdowns over the smallest of things. It’s hard being a full time carer.
love 🐞

HearThem

Thank you @Sarahwithlove and @ladybird1106 we opted for a slow Saturday at home full of play, Christmas crafts and baking. We have an old friend popping in while passing tomorrow so have made a chocolate cake which is accepted by everyone who will want to be downstairs. 19yo will either be asleep or hiding in his bedroom which is fine.

The 9yo has been working hard learning Makaton today and sending video’s to our 3yo nephew who has a speech delay which is very sweet of her. Lots of intense moments but these are the ones I try to cling on to 🥰

Bad news on the pick-up front - it didn’t meet it reserve of 7K. Max bid was 5.5K on carwow so it’s back to the drawing board again. Husband paid 12K less than a year ago so it has been a huge loss. 

HearThem

Ugh! It has been another tough day at home. Really struggling with 19yo, there seems to be such a fine line between accommodating and enabling. We are so low demand but it’s at the point I feel like I’m caring for three toddlers 24/7 and I am so so tired. I’m 34 this month and really feeling shattered with life. Don’t get me wrong we are privileged in many way but raising 3 ASN kids with zero network is just a lot. I wish someone had some clarity to help enlighten husband and I because we go round and round in circles. 

Did manage a 2 mile walk with the dogs and little two which was incredible for 9yo so really pleased with that. 4yo could easily have run another 2 miles! 

Plans are very much in motion for my little 2 night break away with the little two this weekend. So much planning involved to cater to the 9yo’s ARFID but I think I have a plan to feed her (taking a travel hob). She doesn’t even eat ‘treat’ foods so I can’t even get away with buying Christmas market treats to tide her over. Still, quite excited to see my sister and have some time out of the daily rhythm. 

Pickup is for sale as a ‘buy now’ for the reserve price until Wednesday with Carwow so if not sold by then I think he’ll look at WBAC or back to looking for a trade in. 

Tomorrow is swimming with the little two, Thursday home ed group, Friday a different home ed group Christmas party of sorts then head for our weekend away. 

Plans so far are Christmas market to soak up the atmosphere and cinema to see Moana 2 on Saturday and deer centre or museum on Sunday, weather dependant. 

HearThem

Debt balance update £5500. On track to
have this cleared by May. 

No update on the pickup. WBAC offering 7K so husband might go with that. He is booked onto a firefighting course in Glasgow later in the month so might arrange to do the deal then.

Trip to see my sister was lovely overall despite crazy weather. Really pleased to have made it happen. 

My birthday was yesterday and I went a 5 mile dog walk with a friend, watched a Christmas movie with the little two and had lots of cards made for me. Very late night as kids struggled with change of routine and were up until the early hours then the 4yo woke at his usual 5am. He has been asleep on the sofa since 4pm so I predict another long night. Today the kids have had a pj day. Husband went out a cycle after work but he’s now making tea while I catch up on here and read my new book (a different way to learn).