First timer seeking accountability

Brie

Well you can have another pat on the back from me as I think you are doing very well.  

HearThem

I’m back with a new SOA after income changes and a massive(!) slip up. My husband’s van died after we ploughed nearly 2K into it within a 6 month period. He decided to buy his dream vehicle (a pickup truck with the thought he’d use it for extra work in the future). I then ended up so disheartened from the progress made from Oct ‘22 - Jan ‘24 that I had a bit of a splurge on sensory items for our autistic middle child. The credit cards have taken a bit of a hit but I’m back and ready to go again! I have our CC payments set to clear each card before the 0% offers end but hoping to overpay IF we can stay within budget. 

We have just signed on our adult son’s behalf for a motability car which means my car (worth about 4K) will be sold in the next 6-8 months when his car is ready. This means I will also save on MOT/Tax/Insurance costs as it’s all under his payment. My car is used for his benefit when my husband is working. I am a full time carer for our 18 & 8 year olds and we also have a 3.5 year old. 

Anyway here’s the SOA… 

Household Information

Number of adults in household........... 3 

Number of children in household......... 2

Number of cars owned.................... 2

Number of pets……4 🐶🐶🐶🐱

Monthly Income Details

Monthly income ..........………1767

Partners monthly income after tax....... 2820

Other income................................673 

Total monthly income.................... 5260

Monthly Expense Details

Secured/HP loan repayments............0

Rent.................................... 558

Council tax............................. 233

Electricity............................. 220

Water rates............................. 0 (Scotland)

Vodafone…………..88 (3x mobile, landline, broadband) 

TV Licence.............................. 0 (Disney + only)

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 1000 (2x ARFID sensory eaters so often 3x different meals prepared each night 😔)

Clothing................................ 0

Petrol/diesel........................... 300 

Car Road tax................................ 14.43

Car Insurance........................... paid annually 

Pick up tax…………………………………28

Pick up insurance……………………….. paid annually 

Vehicle maintenance (including MOT).........0 (we usually take this from the emergency fund) 

Other child related expenses............ 170) will have horse riding fees of £50 to add in a few weeks time when the stables open back up)

Pet insurance/vet bills/food/groomers etc ................ 200

Life assurance ......................... 35.46

Union………………………………16.25

Spotify family…………………….17.99

Disney plus………………………..7.99

Hp instant ink……………..2.99

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)......100

Haircuts................................ 0

Entertainment/Miscellaneous ..........................250

Holiday................................. 150

Emergency fund.......................... 0 (Have £1000 in there) 

Total monthly expenses..................3392.11

Unsecured debt payments

Lloyds credit cards…………………….703

Lloyds card 2……………………….673

Bos cc ……260

Unsecured debt balances

Husband Lloyds CC …..11233.68 …….0% until July ‘25

Lloyds CC …………. 6727…….0% until Jan ‘25

BOS CC …….3882…….0% until Jun ‘25

TOTAL …. £21842.68 (peaked Oct ‘22 at 33Kish and had it sub 10K before the pickup purchase 💔)

Monthly Budget Summary

Total monthly income....................5960

Expenses (including HP & secured debts)…………………3392.11

Available for debt repayments........1867.89

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments.....……………1636

Amount left after debt repayments.....……£231.89

HearThem

Been for the weekly shop and spent £109.77 after clubcard vouchers. Still have cheese and oat milk to pick up when we next go into town as had the two little kids with me and didn't want to drag them around multiple shops. No doubt the husband and adult son will have a few non essentials to add to that list. Keen to get our grocery budget down a little with each passing month 🤞🏼

HearThem

I’ve stepped on the scale this afternoon and shocked myself into setting some health related goals. 

July ‘23 I had a fall at roller disco when DD fell and I came down with her. I landed on her skate wheels and ultimately herniated a disc and suffered some nerve damage. It has been a very slow recovery but I hadn’t realised quite how inactive I’d become being home full time with DS and driving the littles to and from school rather than walking to the school bus. (We can’t utilise the school bus for ELC and school/nursery is a 7 mile trip each way). 

Going to start a modest target of walking 8,000 steps a day with the dogs for now, with hope of upping it to 10,000 steps a day if all goes well 🤞🏼

Lonelygambler

Hey, 

Good luck with your 8,000 steps! 

£1000 a month on food. Im sure you can save 10% a month on that. GL 

HearThem

Ending today with 8,500ish steps in which I’m pleased with. This was just my outdoor walking as I don’t carry my phone while pottering around indoors. 

Had an evening at the school PTA meet so didn’t put the little kids to bed for the first time ever! They are usually still bouncing around the house when I arrive home so that’s a pleasant surprise! 

Had a phone call today to say my son’s motability car is ready to collect as of next week, 6 months ahead of schedule! Very exciting but also means I have to trade my car in as his down payment and have him pay me back the value as we thought he had 6 months to save. Technically means 3K of our current debt payments will be taken over by DS so we will be better off. If the car fetches any more as a trade in I’ll pay it straight to the CC. 

Off to cook adult son a pasta dish and head to bed before someone needs me 😴

HearThem

Off to town today to pick up the bits missed on Monday and run a few errands (one sided family favours). 

Hoping to pick up some timber to put in a few more raised beds outside and get the ball rolling with sowing seeds with the kids after school. 

HearThem

£37.63 spent in Lidl which included a stock up on Oatly Barista as it was on offer at £1.49 per carton. Also picked up Easter eggs for my three nephews and a pastry or two for a cheap lunch as we weren’t organised enough to pack something. 

£31.50 on timber to make 3 large planters 

HearThem

Ordered some flavourless toothpaste for DS 3 as he struggles with the mint one our other two use. We tried Strawberry but he seems to be very taste sensitive. His nursery have him using a specific one successfully so I’ve ordered it the ‘growing smiles’ website. 2 tubes is the maximum of each type they will allow so I’ve ordered 2x flavourless and 2x family (the one the other kids use). Had to pay postage so it was £16.43 for 4 tubes. This has come out our spending budget. 

We used to get it free from the health visitor/school/dentist but must be affected by cutbacks. 

Will be worth it if it takes the battle out of brushing 🤞🏼

DD8 was officially diagnosed with dyslexia today. She is also autistic and has joint hypermobility syndrome which causes significant joint pain. She is in a small rural school and absolutely loves the setting but I’m worried about her transitioning into the older class next year, mixed P5-7’s. She still seems so young. 

DS18 is really struggling to settle into a regular sleep pattern at the moment and is skipping sleep entirely regularly. He is mostly awake until 8/9am then sleeps until 4/5pm but often tries to reset his clock by staying awake for longer spells and ultimately skips a sleep entirely then can’t reset anyway! Catch 22 situation and really affecting his eating as we aren’t awake to cook for him in the early hours and he doesn’t have the skills to prepare himself anything and isn’t hungry when we are awake! Lots of binned food that has been specially prepared for him and it’s super disheartening. We do have ready to grab food available but he won’t eat it unprompted so that’s another worry to try navigate. 

We have such a low demand household I’m not sure what else we can do to make their lives better/easier. 

ASN parenting is super rewarding at times but boy is it hard. 

CRANKY40

Ouch to your daughter's joint pain. My House Troll has hypermobility syndrome and he has been in a lot of pain since he was young. He also falls over a lot.I have it too but it didn't start causing significant pain for me until I was in my thirties. The HT isn't dyslexic but he does have dyscalculia.

What kind of things does the 18 year old eat? Could he have a mini fridge in his room with an alarm set to eat? Mine eats mostly cheese if the maid (me) isn't around to cook but when he was in school he took cold pasta pots (made by me) with him for lunch. If I'm going out and he is indoors I do sometimes dump a selction of food on his desk in front of him. His sensory eating has improved now he's older but it's not great but he seems to be surviving.

I don't sleep much either which does come in handy - I was awake enough to collect the HT and a friend from a night out at 1am on Sunday morning but it was hard when he was small and was an early riser (a 5am early riser). Nobody ever took him for a sleepover either because 5am is not a great time to start the day for most people. Keep an eye on the teeth thing too. The HT has some hyperplastic patches on his so he has toothpaste on prescription. 

Keep on keeping on and hugs 😊