SERIOUSLY reday to leave my OH

RAS

Hi

She sounds very needy to me; when you are away, she cant really cope with you being on the rig and then she "compensates" by sticking to you like S**T to a blanket.

You have obviously given her a bit of time to sort out her business already.

Start by listing everything that you pay on behalf of you both and tell her that from now

a) she pays her half
b) or she transfers that anount of equity to you each month.

Longer term , either she grows up or you split. Whatever you do, do not allow a situation where you split and she stays on in the house.

People can change. One person I know went from mad spending to sense when her BF did the bills and said " you want a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k...... Well we have £50 this month. Which are you going to choose. Still not the most cost concious person but a LOT better.

wilkster5

RAS wrote: »

Hi

She sounds very needy to me; when you are away, she cant really cope with you being on the rig and then she "compensates" by sticking to you like S**T to a blanket.

You have obviously given her a bit of time to sort out her business already.

Start by listing everything that you pay on behalf of you both and tell her that from now

a) she pays her half
b) or she transfers that anount of equity to you each month.

Longer term , either she grows up or you split. Whatever you do, do not allow a situation where you split and she stays on in the house.

People can change. One person I know went from mad spending to sense when her BF did the bills and said " you want a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k...... Well we have £50 this month. Which are you going to choose. Still not the most cost concious person but a LOT better.

t

Thanks Ras thats good advice. Things is she cant even pay half. I pay £1200 a month on mortgage bilss etc she pays...... £185 council tax, and sometimes buys food. But she only clears around £500 a month. We said we would give the business a year. If it doesnt pick up she'll have to find a job.

Horace

Speaking as a woman (I am even though my nick is Horace!) then I would be showing her the door. For one thing she needs to grow up and as she appears to be good at amateur dramatics - suggest that she joins the local drama group! Plus, this will give her an interest and something to do when you are away on the rigs.

For her to keep dragging up the fact that she paid half the deposit - she needs to ask what else she contributes moneywise - from what I can see its very little so she takes all the time. In fact, as she seems to want holidays why not ask her to either buy you out or, sell the house and just give her back her half deposit and she can go on as many holidays as she wants then. To say that she clears £500 a month is not an excuse to be on the take, she should learn to budget like everyone else has to - she should be thankful that she is not getting £59 a week and paying all the bills etc.

My OH works and pays for his own hols - in fact he is going away on Boxing Day for 2 weeks (he lives and works in London) - as I am currently on JSA, I haven't felt able to go away myself and instead make do with what I have, sure he would pay for me to go away but why should he? I prefer to pay my own way but that's the way I have been brought up I guess.

Good luck with the GF anyhow - she should be on the stage...the next stagecoach out...:rotfl:

Burlesque_Babe

I'm trying to remember.......is it a beauty treatment business? Is she not earning because of lack of time, or she has no clients? If no clients, what has she done to promote the business (putting my PR hat on)? If she has exhausted all the PR and marketing opportunities locally (and there are loads) then it probably isn't worth carrying on for £500 a month as the clients aren't out there.

wilkster5

Horace wrote: »

Speaking as a woman (I am even though my nick is Horace!) then I would be showing her the door. For one thing she needs to grow up and as she appears to be good at amateur dramatics - suggest that she joins the local drama group!

For her to keep dragging up the fact that she paid half the deposit - she needs to ask what else she contributes moneywise - from what I can see its nowt she takes all the time. In fact, as she seems to want holidays why not ask her to either buy you out or, sell the house and just give her back her half deposit.

My OH works and pays for his own hols - in fact he is going away on Boxing Day for 2 weeks - as I am currently on JSA, I haven't felt able to go away myself and instead make do with what I have, sure he would pay for me to go away but why should he? I prefer to pay my own way but that's the way I have been brought up I guess.

Good luck with the GF anyhow - she should be on the stage...the next stagecoach out...:rotfl:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :T :rotfl: :rotfl:

Yeah i'm gonna send her on the Megabus to penzance!

Yeah she has a beauty room, and she always seems to be busy...i'm just losing interest in it all now. I'm gonna pretend i lost my job...that will get her real emotions out!:T

prestonlass

Have just read this read with my jaw dropping - you would have girls queueing up if you were single and they knew you would happily be treated like this.
Any couple should be a partnership working towards the same goals, seems like she sets off persuing her goals with you behind paying the bills.
I didn't know men as kind as you existed, and am feeling very badly done too, think I will show my other half an abridged version of this thread to make him look mean!
Sorry to say this but you are right to seriously consider your long term future with her. I think the right partner for you will be a little more on the same wave length when it comes to spending. I'm a little tight and my OH a little frivolous so we meet in the middle. Imagine how well off you would be with someone who respects your happiness and not your bank balance. Wouldn't wish a painful breakup on anyone and I am sure you will do whats is right in your heart but please do use your head - she needs to realise what a very lucky girl she is and should be paying for your holiday..
p.s. if her income with the new business is so low would she not be better off working to improve it, rather than off on holiday - when your not working, your not earning.

tealady

Wilkster thats just brilliant. Or tell her that she can have the holiday and there are 2 options
1) She pays for the holiday she wants AND provides ALL the spending money
2) You have a £9.50 Sun holiday.

Triker

Tell her that 'of course we can go on holiday in January...........2009 when our debts are paid off'.:D

Mozette

wilkster5 wrote: »

I'm gonna pretend i lost my job...that will get her real emotions out!:T

Sounds a good idea. I can't believe someone could contribute so little & expect to take so much. She just sounds enormously selfish to me. Fine, if you earn more than she does and pay for more than she does, but in that case I would expect her to contribute in other ways, and be a bit more grateful rather than taking the huff when you are trying to get your debts paid rather than run up even more debt on her behalf.

wilkster5

prestonlass wrote: »

Have just read this read with my jaw dropping - you would have girls queueing up if you were single and they knew you would happily be treated like this.
Any couple should be a partnership working towards the same goals, seems like she sets off persuing her goals with you behind paying the bills.
I didn't know men as kind as you existed, and am feeling very badly done too, think I will show my other half an abridged version of this thread to make him look mean!
Sorry to say this but you are right to seriously consider your long term future with her. I think the right partner for you will be a little more on the same wave length when it comes to spending. I'm a little tight and my OH a little frivolous so we meet in the middle. Imagine how well off you would be with someone who respects your happiness and not your bank balance. Wouldn't wish a painful breakup on anyone and I am sure you will do whats is right in your heart but please do use your head - she needs to realise what a very lucky girl she is and should be paying for your holiday..
p.s. if her income with the new business is so low would she not be better off working to improve it, rather than off on holiday - when your not working, your not earning.

Thanks very much, you cheered me up no end! I've tried to support her as much as possible with the business but like you say she should be working hard and not jetting off on holiday.

so we'll see what happends, so wheres this queue then prestonlass lol:rotfl:

Just kidding. dont ya just love MSE.