SERIOUSLY reday to leave my OH

wilkster5

keren29 wrote: »

Hi there - I was wondering how you were getting on a few days ago. You aren't being unreasonable - not at all.

It might be worth sitting down with a REALLY comprehensive list of everything which is going to need to be paid in January and February and show her that it is not possible to spend money on a holiday just because she wants it. Maybe suggest that you plan something for January 09 as a celebration for you being debt free and her business being more up and running by then - would she enjoy looking for a holiday which won't cost very much (with an agreed budget before she starts looking) but she gets to choose the venue, hotel etc. If she still kicks up a fuss, then maybe tell her how you are feeling.

She has (forgive me for this) an easier ride than you financially. She put down half the deposit which is fair enough, but you are paying all the mortgage, all the bills such as the electricity and gas (and I know you work away a lot) so in effect she would get £25,000 equity, pay off £5,000 debt and have £20,000 and you would get £25,000, pay off £13,000 debt and then go away knowing you paid all the other bills for all that time - seems very unfair to me.

Hello Keren!! How are you.

Exactly and when I explain that she always comes back with the ...I paid Half !! sketch. but if I dont pay the mortgae then we lose the house. I'm beginning to think thats she just in it for the money,

How are you anyway, will I be seeing you in the north sea anytime soon??:rotfl:

SortingIt_2

Hi wilkster,

I don't know how you are feeling but I know that money is the only thing that caused a problem between my partner and I. Thankfully we don't have any financial ties yet but he couldn't get his head around my debt but thankfully he has been nothing but supportive and we hope to buy our first place next year.

I do think (this is from female point of view) that your GF needs a reality check. If her new business isn't going well what on earth is she doing even contemplating a holiday??? You are not a personal money bank and I think even more so that she should be contributing more...if she can't then she certainly shouldn't expect you to be paying for a holiday given that you pay for everything else!!

I would sit down and show her exactly how much you do actually pay and get it through to her that you wouldn't be that bothered about paying towards a holiday if she was able to cover her half of any bills....maybe you should go to a 50/50 approach to everything. I insisted on this with my OH re bills and household as I didn't think it fair that even though I had debt that he should suffer in any way given that he has been so good. As it is he is going to pay the deposit of the house and then we'll go from there.

Relationships are about give and take and it seems that your GF has got used to the taking side of things.

I really hope you work this out and that she realises that she is being unreasonable. I am not surprised you are at the end of your tether given the pressure you are under. When do you enjoy yourself???

Good luck
Karen

the_cat

If SHE is so keen on going on holiday, SHE should be paying for it.

And if she is unreasonable enough not to understand that her setting up a new business and you taking on the bills is not going to mean a cutback in the non essential spending, then I would be seriously worried. She needs a reality check.

**Amy**

I would be fuming with her personally.

You need to sit down with her, go through everything you pay out, and show her that this time next year you will be debt free. Explain that that means more in teh long term than a holiday you can go on anytime.

If she still kicks up a fuss then maybe you need to sit her down again and tell her that you are thinking of splitting up etc. Shock might help her realise that she is being unreasonable.

xxx

wilkster5

Ahhh you are all so great I feel so much better already! I'm seriously going to think If i want to be with her anymore cause she is living in cukoo land. I nearly buckled and booked one but now I'm definately not, you have totally got my strangth up to say nope to it. Thanks

davetrousers

I'm going to relent and say it!

She's a Golddigger!

wilkster5

**Amy** wrote: »

I would be fuming with her personally.

You need to sit down with her, go through everything you pay out, and show her that this time next year you will be debt free. Explain that that means more in teh long term than a holiday you can go on anytime.

If she still kicks up a fuss then maybe you need to sit her down again and tell her that you are thinking of splitting up etc. Shock might help her realise that she is being unreasonable.

xxx

Believe it or not i've already threatened this when she wanted a HD widescreen all singing all dancing TV, she got a shock apologised profusly and said she wouldn't be so stupid....2 months later ...wolla-shes at it again!

**Amy**

davetrousers wrote: »

I'm going to relent and say it!

She's a Golddigger!

Quite possibly what i was thinking... but im new... so didnt say it!! :rotfl:

wilkster5

davetrousers wrote: »

I'm going to relent and say it!

She's a Golddigger!

Yup seriously beginning to think that myself. I've even said it to her..then the dramtics come... " ME.. I CANT BELIEVE YOU THINK THAT BLAH BLAH BLAH!

the_cat

davetrousers wrote: »

I'm going to relent and say it!

She's a Golddigger!

Sorry, but that's what I thought too. Not brave enough to post it!!!!!!