Escape to the country & living off savings

Arrietty

Good morning Skinty,

it's bit cooler here today and also cloudy which I have to say is lovely!

You're doing so well with your recovery and you really didn't have much time to properly come to terms with the loss of your DF before having to tackle this illness.

You approached your illness and the op with such positive determination; preparing yourself, your home and life for whatever lay ahead which has been admirable to witness and I'm sure this busyness and a good dose of adrenaline helped keep you focused day to day and yes, now that the immediate danger has passed you're probably feeling a bit depleted.

It's a huge shock to your system - emotionally and physically and it came so soon after the shock of losing of your DF. Take your time and solitude to process and gather tourself.

Sending hugs

A xx

Tresinia511

Sya garden of remembrance sounds good to reflect peacefully

jwil

Sounds good to have some peace and reflection time.

SuzeQStan

hugs to you SYA - I think you’re blumin amazing - anyone would be all over the shop with what you have had going on - be proud of how you have been handling it all. You inspire me all the time xx

Skint_yet_Again

You are all amazing, thank you so much Arrietty, Tresinia, jwil and Suze for your kindness and support 🥰

I got ready to go out and then it rained. So I had a cuppa and by the time I gathered my thoughts & drank my tea it stopped and the sun came out. I drove to the garden of remembrance and the bench was dry, so I sat for a while.

Tomorrow I am out with niece and little lad 🥰 we are going to an outlet shopping centre & for lunch. Tuesday is haircut and see my friend in the afternoon. Then I will get packed and go to my sisters for a long weekend including my friends wedding. I do not want to be alone at the moment. Too much time and quiet to think…

A little while later…

Just as I wrote that last sentence my friend messaged me to check I am ok. She must be psychic 😉 I am ok. We have made arrangements for tea and cake on Tuesday. Will keep an eye on my low mood as it can be a side effect of the tablets, but as you all know it could be the emotional fall out of my cancer diagnosis and missing dad.

Helps to have your support 💖

KajiKita

It sounds like you know yourself well. I’m glad that you’ve got events and people lined up to help fill you time. Hugs for the grief and the post surgery shock / trauma x

KK

Skint_yet_Again

Thank you KK 💖

I think I am used to living alone but was feeling alone yesterday iyswim. I’m not sure if I’m emotionally resilient or in denial 😉

After too much thinking, I need to accept I cannot change some things, stop wishing things were different and continue living my life to move past the emotional pain. Sounds good but not always easy to do.

I could hear rain in the night so the garden will be pleased. My thermostat says it’s 23 degrees in my bedroom, (16 outside up to 19 later) so it’s much nicer down from 28.5. (35 outside). The weather forecast for my friends wedding is now partly sunny for the ceremony instead of rain which will be lovely for them. 😊

Despite taking a while to get to sleep and hearing the rain in the night I feel like I had a good night’s sleep and feel rested

Looking forward to seeing niece and little lad today 🥰

Mse energy club cashback £20 is now in my account.

Tresinia511

Sya, thinking of the changes which have happened, your dad passing, has this changed your perspective on where you want to be? You sound conflicted a little bit. I know you miss your son, would a move closer to him bring you some peace?

Skint_yet_Again

Hi Tresinia, I think it’s more about accepting that dads not here anymore, things are not going back to the way they were and I need to move on mentally and emotionally. It’s just been hard with everything that followed his passing.

I don’t feel the need to move back down south. I couldn’t afford it now unless I bought a tiny property or something in a cheaper/ rougher area, or got a job. I don’t want to leave my current home as there is so much of dad here. I would never say never but I’m not in any rush.

I feel that I need to keep busy with just the odd day to myself to relax. Once I am back to “normal” I will have 2 mornings a week at aquafit, usually 2 days seeing my friend and 1 day a week seeing my niece & little lad. I need to find something else to fill some time. Weekends are hardest.

Just now I’m not making any drastic changes or plans just recovering and getting my strength back, using my home as a base, while still visiting my sister and then my DS, plus other family and friends.

Today I have had my hair cut £28, ordered new glasses buy 1 get 1 free £90, wiped the car inside, checked the tyres at home with my little compressor (gentle movement kneeling and stretching) filled the car up with petrol £36.87 and visited my friend for cuppa tea and cake. It’s been lovely and cool so I’ve worn jeans and a cardi for the first time in ages ☺️

Since then I have been relaxing, watching tv and reading a book I picked up from the community library in the old phone box. I think there is some rain on its way which my garden will be grateful for.

bubblycrazy

I think this month is the anniversary of your dad passing? If so, no wonder you feel a bit discombobulated 🫂

Go easy on yourself. Your afternoon of TV and reading sounds lovely.