MeandO's money-shuffling

MeandO

The weather is looking much more traditionally Autumnal today- a bit wild, windy and wet. I was supposed to head into the office today but have made my excuses as I know I won't manage the walk from the car park in this weather, with the weight of equipment and the pain I have today.

Last night DS was at his Dad's from around 6pm, so OH and I met a friend for a chat for an hour and then OH cooked me a lovely simple, healthy tea. It is so nice to have someone cook a meal for me, I was so grateful just to not have to cook or think about what to cook for a day! DS is with me most of the weekend this week as his Dad is away, but he's out watching a sporting event tonight with friends so he can get food out and I hopefully won't have to cook. ;)

We popped to &sda to pick up some veg, fruit (and yes, more yogurts! 😶😂) and there were lots of marinated chicken breast skewers & wings reduced to £2 or so, so I picked up 4 packs of those for the freezer as it's a good option to throw in the oven for DS when he's hungry and I've run out of ideas of what to cook next. If he's hungry tonight, we can bung some of those in the air fryer as can be cooked from frozen.

I also picked up a YS loaf of sourdough for the freezer. We don't buy/eat 'normal' bread anymore - DS has never been much of a fan and it really bloats me, whereas sourdough seems to be much better. We don't eat sandwiches etc., we only really use it for eggs or avocado on toast but it is much pricier than 'normal' bread, so I'm grateful for any discounts and always try to buy it when it's reduced.

OH paid for the shopping to get T0sco points on his CC and we used my &sda app, reaching the next spending threshold for another £2 in the Christmas savings pot. There's £33 in there now which will go a good way towards our Christmas shopping, as family/illness/divorce/distance circumstances mean we don't tend to go in for the big Christmas thing which always makes me sad, but it is what it is. 😔 I need to transfer OH the money for my shopping this morning once I've added it up.

I had a terrible night's sleep last night. I was lying there worrying about money, the mortgage, paying for everything and berating myself for past poor decisions. Everything seems so much worse at night time doesn't it. I need to get back to reality and taking things a day at a time again. I think it's because everything is so expensive now and going up in price and I've never been so close to not being able to afford everything on my own before. It feels a bit like like living on the edge of a cliff all the time.

Anyway, ebay bids are doing well, that will bring in around £60 so far. It may even spur me on to listing a few more things!

Happy Friday everyone x

MeandO

I’ve had a lovely, relaxing couple of hours to myself this afternoon.

I started with a walk to the post office/shop at the end of our road instead of driving to one with parking. It hurt, but I managed the walk and saved the petrol. I posted a return which has now been refunded and the eBay package from the other day.
DS went to the gym straight from school so I made myself a cup of mint tea and sat and read for an hour. The house smells lovely as I decided to cook a butter chicken joint for DS to have with some rice and veggies and it smells lovely and fragrant, full of spices.

DS is walking home, fingers crossed he’s happy and we have a good evening.

MeandO

Not a bad evening all in all. DS was happy enough coming home from school and tucked into his food before I took him and his friend to their sporting event. I spent a couple of hours with OH whilst waiting for the boys, we watched an episode of ‘Winter’ - not sure what to make of it yet. I then had to pick the boys up a few hours later, dropped DS’s friend home and we’ve been home half an hour or so. DS is moody again now (I made the mistake of asking if he was OK! 🫢) and has made it obvious he doesn’t want to be around me now 🙄 so I’ve got my Pj’s on and have come up to bed to read for a bit before going to sleep, I’m not participating in the moodiness! I just wish he’d try and get an earlier night as it would make him feel so much better and hopefully be in less of a grump constantly, but there’s no telling him.

I have no plans tomorrow, other than being Mum taxi to DS, probably. I’m going to try not to spend any money tomorrow as I’m conscious there’s still two weeks before payday and funds are dwindling, especially the grocery pot. We have plenty in for the weekend and beyond, but are likely to need milk and possibly eggs. I was hoping to do some baking tomorrow but may give it a miss to save buying more eggs for a few days.

I’m going to try and look at the monthly budget again tomorrow as I think it needs some tweaking. I need to build up the ‘repair/replace’ fund again and I’m wondering whether I need to increase the grocery budget again as it’s always such a struggle, especially now DS eats so much and the price of food has skyrocketed. I could possibly save less in the ‘school’ pot now, but I do use that for things DS needs during the month such as any clothing, toiletries, sports/school fees etc. Come to think of it, there’s another trip I will need to pay halves for soon for DS - a social one this time, but with his sports club. There’s always something! I also need to pay his sports club yearly membership fees but will ask his father to pay half of that and the trip. Wish me luck on that one.
So actually, I can’t afford to lower that pot either. :(

I forgot to mention that I have raised my AVC monthly amount from this month by £70 to £400 per month. I know this sounds counter-productive when I have just been talking about affordability of things, but I have just had a small pay rise and if I don’t increase that AVC payment, I’m concerned my eligibility for UC’s will drop. They take off 55p for every £1 I earn over a set amount, so it is better that I put that money away into AVCs whilst I can for the next 3 years as I won’t be able to afford to do so once DS is out of full time education and I no longer receive CB and CM.

Gosh, the juggling act gets harder, not easier, doesn’t it. 😕

Night all xx

MeandO

Happy Saturday everyone!

We’ve had a good money-making start to the day. A fb sale for DS has just been picked up, making him £10 on items he no longer wanted. I found £3 I didn’t know I had in my purse so that’s been rounded up with another 50p and sent the debt. Lastly, some clothes that are now too big for me that I listed a couple of weeks ago finally sold on eBay this morning for £16. That will also be thrown at the debt when cleared.

It’s a sunny but blowy day so one load of washing has just stopped and will be on the line shortly, another is lined up ready to go in the wm.

I’ve taken 4 chicken breasts out of the freezer to defrost to make DS one of his favourite meals tonight. Hopefully that cheers him up, he seems a bit miserable at the moment which makes me sad, but any attempts to ask if he’s ok or if I can help with anything just get shut down. :(

The washing is calling, I must go…

Newstartforme

You truly are doing great in all your money saving endeavours Meando . The cost of living just makes everything so tough , feels like years ago when I was on rubbish wages I was actually better off ! The moods will pass with your lovely lad , you know that I am sure but still tough . Hope your Mum continues to improve xx

MeandO

Thank you for your kind words, Newstartforme. They were like a much needed hug today as DS has been acting like I took not only his last rolo, but all the rolos. 🙄

I started the above reply earlier today and it since all kicked off again with DS. I ended up having to drive DS to his Dad’s and back twice (20 mins ish each way, so an hour and a half of driving) for DS to retrieve stuff he needs for tomorrow and should have bought with him this weekend and was reminded so by both his father and I. Even more annoyingly, I asked him last night if he needed anything from his dad’s (who’s away, but family members are home) as the sporting event I took DS to was in that location, but he said No and couldn’t get in the house anyway. Today I found out that was rubbish and he knew it. So apparently, I’m a sh*t Mum, don’t know what I’m doing and everything is my fault as always because he has two houses he has to go between (which is somehow only my fault, not his Dad’s!). I told him if he wasn’t happy he could choose to stay at one or another for longer to suit him as I don’t want him to be unhappy, so he told me he’s going to stay at his Dad’s permanently. So I’ve told his dad to expect him full time from tomorrow, even he said he’d only last two days and then he’d be asking to come back! DS later said he’s not really going to stay there, but then changed his mind again when he disagreed with me again. 🙄

I had to contact his sports coach earlier about something and did briefly divulge a little of what me and his father have been dealing with. He was shocked and said he has never seen any of that side of DS and he would not have thought him to be like that as all they ever see is politeness, respectfulness and a willingness to help others. At least that’s nice to hear. I know DS is like this really, he just hates his parents at the moment and blames us (me) for everything wrong in his life.

I’m taking notes on the ‘natural consequences’ that were mentioned before and hopefully he will realise that being rude and disrespectful is not going to get him what he wants. I’m exhausted from his poor attitude and disrespect towards me lately, so if he chooses to go to his Dad’s, let him. I told him that’s obviously not what I want, but I don’t want him being unhappy so it’s his choice. I can do no more than I’m doing.

So after cooking the favourite meal I had already started prepping for him 🤨 I took myself off for a hot bath and then went straight to my bed for some peace. I’m going to try and work on restoring peace and calm to this house, even if it’s just within myself. I’ve just realised I have hardly eaten today other than the fruit and Greek yogurt for breakfast. I need to start looking after myself more.

So, other than WW..26?!, I’ve cut the grass today - a job I was glad to do as it had grown so fast and was looking untidy. It also means I can put the garden waste out again before they stop collecting over winter.
I packaged the eBay parcel and dropped it off at the locker. Two loads of washing dried nicely on the line and the little bit of ironing I had to do was done.

The meal I cooked this evening rendered 3 portions for the freezer, so that’s the ‘ready to go’ meal drawer topped up. I’ve been keeping up to date with the freezer list which is helping to know what we have in and what actually needs buying.

I did end up spending money today on a couple of ingredients I didn’t realise we were out of for this meal and some bananas, berries, milk and yep, more yogurt!

I’m praying tomorrow’s a better day. Goodnight all xx

Skint_yet_Again

Oh MeandO I really feel for you. Please reach out to your GP or CAHMS if you need some support. It’s an awful situation to be in. Sending you hugs ❤️

debtfreewannabe321

Morning @MeandO I'm so sorry you're going through this, I know how tough it is and how much you're probably beating yourself up over it. Big hugs. And look after yourself as there is no one else there to do that for you 💓.

Mrs_Money_Penny

Aww sorry you’re going through such a hard time both with your health and son. We have all been there with teenagers one of the hardest stages to navigate.Hard to say or do anything sometimes with out a reaction. Take care of yourself xx

ArtyJ931

It is so hard all this. All I can suggest is hunker down, remind yourself it is hormones and not facts, and that he will come through it and not even remember all this.

I remember when my eldest was a teen the house felt like a war zone, everyone on eggshells and it was like a cloud settled on the house when she arrived home. It was horrendous. A friend at the time told me the above and I felt like that was impossible. My daughter is now in her early 30s and has no memory whatsoever of the moods and how she was. She even said to me “I wasn’t particularly moody as a teenager was I?” And you could have knocked me down with a feather 😂😂

This, too, shall pass.