In a mess! Advice needed

[Deleted User]

Hi - well done for acknowledging your debts and spends.  You have well and truly had a lightbulb moment and open to changes.  

Things I would certainly look at first your household direct debits:  Car insurance seems very high, yours is around £600 a year? Have you had any claims? Are you getting a good deal? Home insurance is too expensive for contents only (especially as it didn't pay for escape of water on your policy. Was there a reason for that? Live near a river or brook that's prone to flooding? Pet insurance: Seems very cheap for three aging pets? What would it pay out if you had to claim?  Would you be better off putting this into an account to build up yourself?(Putting it in an emergency fund account.)  Any of these savings could then go on your first smallest and highest debt.  Then can use the snowball method once each payment is made.  

The holiday is expensive but only a temporary expense so there is nothing you can do about this but once this is paid off in September then you can use this to snowball your other payments.  In regards to the gym, again you said you were in a contract.  I would use it, I too work in a school and know how stressful it is and would be good for your mental health.  But when it does come up for review then I would seriously consider doing alternatives such as a bike ride or walks. Again, this would be another expense that could potentially free up later in the year to snowball on your debts. 

In regards to your dietary requirements, my partner is coeliac too so cooking from scratch helps keep cost down (but can be very time consuming, especially after being a work all day).  I love using my slow cooker when I know I have a busy day ahead.  Also, it can become very costly when buying gluten free food.  Have you checked with your doctors if you can get the basics on prescription like bread and pasta.  In my area they don't but my family up in Tyne & Wear can, so this might be worth a call to your doctors surgery if you have been medically diagnosed with coeliac disease. 

Well done lovely, you got this 

fluffyowl

Could/would your younger daughter get a 0% credit card and you transfer your higher interest balances and you pay off the payments?  I know it’s not ideal but it could save you £100+ a month. 

Have you thought about Airbnb for a spare room? Lots of people need a few nights here and there. 

Online tutoring? 

Slowdown

Guilt and failure are themes I keep picking up on throughout your posts. 

Both are the ‘hair shirt’ of the parent and we all wear it at times. 

However, you are clearly not a failure and the guilt you carry needs to be put firmly back in its box. Both of these emotional states are destructive and creeping, hurting nobody but yourself. 

You had children very early but look at how balanced and loved they are. You are a terrific example to them. Your open and accepting attitude towards the posters on here and your caring conduct towards your parents is touching to read. 

I was a teacher for 27 years and gave up at 51 having been worn down trying to keep up with a career, three children and a husband who still is a head teacher. 

The very fact you give out so much patience, love, understanding and dedication to all those around you is commendable to say the least. 

Your feelings of failure surrounding not owning a property should be chucked out of the window immediately. Which rule book states that home ownership is the end goal and anything else is looked down upon? Life should be about equal opportunities not equal outcomes. My youngest is 25 this year, the eldest is 30. None of them own a house and I suspect one of them never will. It doesn’t mean they are a lesser person, somehow not worthy or inadequate in some way. They are doing the best they can in the personal and societal circumstances they find themselves in. Just like you. 

Celebrate your terrific later life achievements, your early life children and forget the expectations of others. You’re doing really well. 🙂👏

EssexHebridean

@Slowdown - beautiful, empathetic post - well said!