In a mess! Advice needed

kimwp

13thlegion said:

Based on a couple of things I don't think a DMP is strictly necessary or desirable.

Firstly the DD for the holiday wouldn't be accepted, so no wedding. Which is a hard no option.
There is a small amount of wiggle room, increasing with further sacrifices to lifestyle.

I'm not considering credit score. I know you've said you'd like to buy a house and protect it for that. However I think with confidence we can say your credit rating is shot to pieces. The APR on these debts is high and you can't get a 0% at the moment. Paying off debts often lowers your credit counter intuitively. By the time you are in a position to buy a house it will have recovered. 

The Good News.
I've been through the SOA and if I may suggest these areas of slimming down. 
Daughters Mobile - already sorted so excellent start
Amazon & Netflix - you have a TV package in contract. Use that.
Oven, jewellery, tumble dryer warranties - Not absolutely necessary for life.
Ring - Keep the doorbell on the front of the house a deterrent, it's free to use as a live feed. Can reactivate later.

I have not touched Union fees (they may be able to help however, as was mentioned before) Printer ink (this is probably vital considering your job!) or gym (yet - see below)

This saves you £94.50 a month. You are now covering the minimum payments and have an additional £58.17 to either overpay or use towards an emergency fund. As an example of this in 4 months you'd have the cash to buy a tumble dryer if anything goes wrong.

You have said that the gym is your only social life. I do understand so the next bit is a little tongue in cheek. The go hard route is to do sit ups and burpees in front of the tv, making sure you get maximum value out of that contract package! This would give you an £113.17 a month total to over pay debts / EF and get ahead. 

I have two questions.
1. You're not saving for any additional spending money on the wedding holiday? Pets boarding? Drinks from the father of the bride?
2. Is £30 for presents realistic? How much do you have saved? Is £300 enough to cover all birthdays AND Xmas this year?

To conclude. Please don't panic and rush into anything. You've done the absolute right thing by asking for information. Many here have been in worse straights than you and come out the other side. With some adjustments you can start chipping away at the debts. Snowballing with the smallest total may be a good start to overpay as it will free up extra cash and feel like progress as the list gets shorter. In 2 months time New Look, or 3 Jacamo could be gone. The next months will be very tough, and the journey will take years. But if you grind at it you will make it.

When you have your plan share it with your daughters so they know what's going on. Their support will be vital. And please stick around as I'm sure all of us want to cheer you on too. I know I do. 

It's an interesting point about the holiday dd. If it's contracted, meaning they have to pay the whole amount, then maybe it would be accepted. But otherwise you're right - this would probably be considered a non-essential expense.

13thlegion

Some more good news having crunched some numbers for a bit longer. With the cuts I suggested (not the gym) and adding in the £350 per month once the holiday is done and taking that figure to 'avalanche' the overpayments. Debt free apart from the car at around 2 years from now. Including the car if then avalanching that at 3 years from now.

Realistically I'd give it a bit longer and put a few months of holiday payment into an emergency fund before throwing everything at debts.

sammyjammy

RAS said:

You need yo be aware that if you ask for a payment holiday, the creditors may mark your credit record with arrangement to pay (AP) markers. 

Although they don't sound as bad as defaults they damage your credit record for much longer. If you can pay down £4k per year, you'll make a major impact on this debt, possibly nearly clear it if you can get some better credit card deals in the future.

Arrangement to pay markers stay on your credit record for 6 years AFTER the debt is cleared, which ain't what you need if you're after a mortgage.

I don't think thats true, if the AP markers were just for a few months (I'm not suggesting thats the way to go) they also would not be shown after 6 years it would only show the latest six years.

sammyjammy

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Tumble Drier warranty, now I am 78 years old and I have never owned a Tumble Drier let alone had a warranty on one.

With the cost of electricity you want to be using it as little as possible, give washing an extra spin and when ever possible, get it out on the line to dry or overnight in the kitchen on the airer.

I guess you are off for half term this week? if so use the time to consider every thing you buy, everything you do to live a different lifestyle that costs less.

And that warranty monthly cost would buy a new tumble dryer every couple of years!

sammyjammy

kimwp said:

13thlegion said:

Based on a couple of things I don't think a DMP is strictly necessary or desirable.

Firstly the DD for the holiday wouldn't be accepted, so no wedding. Which is a hard no option.
There is a small amount of wiggle room, increasing with further sacrifices to lifestyle.

I'm not considering credit score. I know you've said you'd like to buy a house and protect it for that. However I think with confidence we can say your credit rating is shot to pieces. The APR on these debts is high and you can't get a 0% at the moment. Paying off debts often lowers your credit counter intuitively. By the time you are in a position to buy a house it will have recovered. 

The Good News.
I've been through the SOA and if I may suggest these areas of slimming down. 
Daughters Mobile - already sorted so excellent start
Amazon & Netflix - you have a TV package in contract. Use that.
Oven, jewellery, tumble dryer warranties - Not absolutely necessary for life.
Ring - Keep the doorbell on the front of the house a deterrent, it's free to use as a live feed. Can reactivate later.

I have not touched Union fees (they may be able to help however, as was mentioned before) Printer ink (this is probably vital considering your job!) or gym (yet - see below)

This saves you £94.50 a month. You are now covering the minimum payments and have an additional £58.17 to either overpay or use towards an emergency fund. As an example of this in 4 months you'd have the cash to buy a tumble dryer if anything goes wrong.

You have said that the gym is your only social life. I do understand so the next bit is a little tongue in cheek. The go hard route is to do sit ups and burpees in front of the tv, making sure you get maximum value out of that contract package! This would give you an £113.17 a month total to over pay debts / EF and get ahead. 

I have two questions.
1. You're not saving for any additional spending money on the wedding holiday? Pets boarding? Drinks from the father of the bride?
2. Is £30 for presents realistic? How much do you have saved? Is £300 enough to cover all birthdays AND Xmas this year?

To conclude. Please don't panic and rush into anything. You've done the absolute right thing by asking for information. Many here have been in worse straights than you and come out the other side. With some adjustments you can start chipping away at the debts. Snowballing with the smallest total may be a good start to overpay as it will free up extra cash and feel like progress as the list gets shorter. In 2 months time New Look, or 3 Jacamo could be gone. The next months will be very tough, and the journey will take years. But if you grind at it you will make it.

When you have your plan share it with your daughters so they know what's going on. Their support will be vital. And please stick around as I'm sure all of us want to cheer you on too. I know I do. 

It's an interesting point about the holiday dd. If it's contracted, meaning they have to pay the whole amount, then maybe it would be accepted. But otherwise you're right - this would probably be considered a non-essential expense.

But wouldn't be an issue if they went self managed.

pelirocco

Bolt1234 said:

So why is the daughters mobile contract so much.  That is clearly a iphone 14 or similar. I have a son still at university who wanted something similar (everyone has one etc etc!).  I said we would fund £25 per month.  Anything else he would pay for.  He did think about it carefully (!) and decided to go for it.

Amazon Prime and various warrenties really arent worth it.  Gym will have to wait until you can afford to re-join.

How much is your daughters wedding costing?  I have heard that the average cost of a weeding is well over £20K.  Please dont say its anything like that?

Also what is your daugher working as as that only allows her to pay you £60? There are plenty of jobs out there, bar work, etc.

You can probably tell I am from the world of tough love.  Young people want all this 'items', big wedding, flashy phones etc but often expect the Bank of Mum and Dad to pay for them.  

I am sorry to sound so harsh but you really cannot afford all of the above.  But on a positive point reducing/cancelling a number of items should give you a few hundred pounds plus daughter can get a more robust job and help out too.

please read what the OP has explained before being so judgemental
the holiday abroad is to attend her daughters wedding , not to pay for a wedding , 
She has already explained about the daughter at home , who is studying plus working 

It really makes me mad when I hear people trot out young people want all the big items  statement , my children ( all grown with their own children ) never expected bank of mum and dad to fund everything , and I would bet most are the same 

pelirocco

kimwp said:

13thlegion said:

Based on a couple of things I don't think a DMP is strictly necessary or desirable.

Firstly the DD for the holiday wouldn't be accepted, so no wedding. Which is a hard no option.
There is a small amount of wiggle room, increasing with further sacrifices to lifestyle.

I'm not considering credit score. I know you've said you'd like to buy a house and protect it for that. However I think with confidence we can say your credit rating is shot to pieces. The APR on these debts is high and you can't get a 0% at the moment. Paying off debts often lowers your credit counter intuitively. By the time you are in a position to buy a house it will have recovered. 

The Good News.
I've been through the SOA and if I may suggest these areas of slimming down. 
Daughters Mobile - already sorted so excellent start
Amazon & Netflix - you have a TV package in contract. Use that.
Oven, jewellery, tumble dryer warranties - Not absolutely necessary for life.
Ring - Keep the doorbell on the front of the house a deterrent, it's free to use as a live feed. Can reactivate later.

I have not touched Union fees (they may be able to help however, as was mentioned before) Printer ink (this is probably vital considering your job!) or gym (yet - see below)

This saves you £94.50 a month. You are now covering the minimum payments and have an additional £58.17 to either overpay or use towards an emergency fund. As an example of this in 4 months you'd have the cash to buy a tumble dryer if anything goes wrong.

You have said that the gym is your only social life. I do understand so the next bit is a little tongue in cheek. The go hard route is to do sit ups and burpees in front of the tv, making sure you get maximum value out of that contract package! This would give you an £113.17 a month total to over pay debts / EF and get ahead. 

I have two questions.
1. You're not saving for any additional spending money on the wedding holiday? Pets boarding? Drinks from the father of the bride?
2. Is £30 for presents realistic? How much do you have saved? Is £300 enough to cover all birthdays AND Xmas this year?

To conclude. Please don't panic and rush into anything. You've done the absolute right thing by asking for information. Many here have been in worse straights than you and come out the other side. With some adjustments you can start chipping away at the debts. Snowballing with the smallest total may be a good start to overpay as it will free up extra cash and feel like progress as the list gets shorter. In 2 months time New Look, or 3 Jacamo could be gone. The next months will be very tough, and the journey will take years. But if you grind at it you will make it.

When you have your plan share it with your daughters so they know what's going on. Their support will be vital. And please stick around as I'm sure all of us want to cheer you on too. I know I do. 

It's an interesting point about the holiday dd. If it's contracted, meaning they have to pay the whole amount, then maybe it would be accepted. But otherwise you're right - this would probably be considered a non-essential expense.

they could do a self managed DMP , it woudnt matter who they paid what 

pelirocco

OP , peace of mind and lack of stress are worth thinking about a self managed DMP

hedgewitchery

Just another thing to consider and apologies if I've missed it, but if you, your husband and your daughter are supporting your parents with lifts and shopping, etc, are they making any contribution to your costs, even if it's just paying for a tank of petrol now and again? When I was running errands for my parents, it sometimes felt awkward to ask for money and they didn't always think to offer, but they had a lot more disposable income than me! I'm not suggesting charging them, but make sure you're not doing them a favour and paying for the privilege too.

EssexHebridean

pelirocco said:

Bolt1234 said:

So why is the daughters mobile contract so much.  That is clearly a iphone 14 or similar. I have a son still at university who wanted something similar (everyone has one etc etc!).  I said we would fund £25 per month.  Anything else he would pay for.  He did think about it carefully (!) and decided to go for it.

Amazon Prime and various warrenties really arent worth it.  Gym will have to wait until you can afford to re-join.

How much is your daughters wedding costing?  I have heard that the average cost of a weeding is well over £20K.  Please dont say its anything like that?

Also what is your daugher working as as that only allows her to pay you £60? There are plenty of jobs out there, bar work, etc.

You can probably tell I am from the world of tough love.  Young people want all this 'items', big wedding, flashy phones etc but often expect the Bank of Mum and Dad to pay for them.  

I am sorry to sound so harsh but you really cannot afford all of the above.  But on a positive point reducing/cancelling a number of items should give you a few hundred pounds plus daughter can get a more robust job and help out too.

please read what the OP has explained before being so judgemental
the holiday abroad is to attend her daughters wedding , not to pay for a wedding , 
She has already explained about the daughter at home , who is studying plus working 

It really makes me mad when I hear people trot out young people want all the big items  statement , my children ( all grown with their own children ) never expected bank of mum and dad to fund everything , and I would bet most are the same 

Unless the poster you have quoted had “the sight” they couldn’t have known the detail on the wedding when they posted I don’t think… - initially the OP said “daughter getting married abroad so we’ve got to pay for that”, then that it was an all inclusive deal…they only went on to explain that the cost was purely for the holiday AFTER Bolt’s question. 

I would agree that there is no place for judgement on this board - that applies to judging those commenting, as well as judging the OP themselves though, IMO!