In a mess! Advice needed

warby68 · 15 February 2023 at 1:19PM

I'm glad you have some plans that you are all on board with.

You have been very open and your family values are shouting loud and clear. Well done to your younger daughter for showing willing too. The one thing I wouldn't rule out is some contribution to the costs of care from your parents. I know you feel you owe them and I would feel the same. The thing with parents is they usually don't see it that way and if its easily affordable to them might hate the thought of you struggling financially on top of your time commitment. Keep it in mind.

I still think its going to be tricky until the holiday cost is out of the way as you need all the savings you've identified to meet the deficit in payments which means anything unexpected is uncovered. However there is nothing wrong with getting to a holding position before you decide which debt solution is best for the longer term. Sometimes people forget that you have to turn the habits and overspending around before you can effectively reduce debt. Doing it all from the minute you have your lightbulb moment can just be too much.

Sea_Shell · 15 February 2023 at 1:28PM

Has anyone mentioned keeping a spending diary?

Keep a note of where every single penny goes for a few weeks, to make sure you're not leaking cash anywhere.

EssexHebridean · 15 February 2023 at 1:37PM

Regardless of whether you would accept anything back from your parents, if they are not already getting attendance allowance it seems from what you have said that they could well be eligible so it would be worth them applying - even if you have nothing from it, it might enable them to live more comfortably!

As for making people see that things can be managed, and dealt with - it's why most of us are here! It never fails to put a smile on my face when someone says that they can now see a way forwards - not bad for a little corner of the internet, eh!

kimwp · 15 February 2023 at 3:01PM

MrsCanary said:

Firstly, huge apologies for not responding sooner - most of yesterday was spent in the hospital with my Dad.
Secondly, thank you all so much for all your advice and support. Having sat down and discussed all options with my family, we have decided to try and ride out the wave and snowball as much as we can do get the debt down quicker. We have decided:

Cancel all the warranties, Netflix, Amazon, etc. The gym is under contract and can affect our credit file so we want to try prevent that. Despite having a lot of credit, it is all being paid at the moment so we want to try keep it that way.
We are going to try shop for some cheaper insurances and breakdown, if it works out cheaper with exit fees it is worth it.
Use the exam marking money as our emergency fund.
Try pay off as many smaller bills over Feb-April as we can.
Cut back on our grocery spend as much as possible.
In regards to the holiday costs, we are fortunate in that we don't have to pay for boarding our animals as we have family and friends who sit them for us for free. We are all inclusive and have approx. 300 euro in cash and on some Travelex cards that we are using for our spending money while we are there. The cost of travel to the airport is approx. 35 return because our youngest daughter is car sharing with us and we are splitting the fuel and parking costs. In the airport itself and on the flights we estimate we will spend approx. £60. The flight is relatively short and we don't drink much, but this we will need to save.
Our youngest daughter has agreed to pay for her mobile phone bundle from this month onwards.
I have signed up to a cashback site and a site that gives us vouchers towards pet food for walking the dog!
We already have a reciprocal agreement in place with our parents, siblings, etc that we don't buy for them and they don't buy for us. We instead bake a cake for each other etc., create memory books, go for days out, etc. The £30 a month is for presents for our daughters and their partners for their birthdays and Christmas, and we will look at reducing this too. They wouldn't mind at all. They are very caring and understanding. It is really us who care and feel terrible.
We don't ask our parents for money towards fuel because they offered free childcare for both our girls while we worked, collecting them from school and giving them their tea, and took them on holidays etc. They saved us probably tens of thousands of pounds over the years so we feel very much it is now us repaying them.
On a positive note, and something I didn't take in to consideration, is that my husband will be getting a pay rise in April. At the moment we are not sure how much it will be but anything will help and will cover a little of the inflation increases. I am also still a pay grade away from the top of the MPS (classroom teacher pay scale), so my salary will increase in around November and that will be backdated to September. I need to calculate the increase, but I assume it will be around an extra £80 a month (taking into account my pension and student loan deductions.)

If we can just ride this out a little longer, I know things will improve. It just all seemed so impossible a few days ago, so thank you all for helping me see that it isn't!

This all sounds great and considered.

Some thoughts-

-check that you won't owe the remainder of the contracts as well as exit fees (these companies can be sneaky!)
- you can spend zero at the airport and on the plane - take your own sandwiches and fruit, fill up a water bottle after security.

- keep paying your pension if you can- it's free money

EssexHebridean · 15 February 2023 at 3:56PM

Hey OP - have a look at AXA for breakdown cover - we've found them absolutely excellent to deal with on the couple of occasions we've had cause to call them out. Great service and far from the price of the likes of the AA etc.

Loving your reciprocal agreement for christmas with family - that's ace!

Yes to being ultra-cautious when it comes to cancelling the gym - they can purposely make it really difficult to cancel so read the small print there very carefully when the time comes!

On the airport spending - I can see that if you're flying along with other family, friends of DD etc you don't want to appear as the "poor relations" - particularly as you're parents of the bride. Plan things out though and make sure that not only do you save the money needed for the planned spending, but also think about where you can minimise that without it looking odd. For example taking an empty reusable water bottle which you can fill once through security can be dressed up as "being eco friendly". Similarly if you wanted to keep alcoholic drinks down to a minimum you could always adopt the approach of it "making you queasy if you drink once you are actually on the aircraft itself". The other risk of one too many drinks is that it can loosen inhibitions and leave you more inclined to blow your budget!

stymied · 15 February 2023 at 5:06PM

Tappily quote their interest rate as 124% although I think that’s over a 75 day loan period so I make it more like 345% APR :-(

I understand you’re not eligible for any new lower rate borrowing but is there any way you can get any of your higher interest borrowing onto your lower interest rate cards?

Equally your 300 Euro would be better served reducing interest before your daughter’s wedding but that’s a tricky decision because it might be difficult to liquidate it again once you do need it for the holiday.

Brie · 15 February 2023 at 5:21PM

stymied said:

Tappily quote their interest rate as 124% although I think that’s over a 75 day loan period so I make it more like 345% APR :-(

As I understand it Tappily is in administration but also has a policy of no added interest after the initial period - might be 45 days or it might be 75. In either case I think that is a 0% at this point.

enthusiasticsaver · 15 February 2023 at 5:23PM

MrsCanary said:

Hi all,

Below is our formatted SOA

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 3
Number of children in household.........
Number of cars owned.................... 3[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 2146
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1680
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 60[b]
Total monthly income.................... 3886[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 349.7
Rent.................................... 465.08
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 102
Electricity............................. 99
Gas..................................... 100
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 53.9
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 49.3
TV Licence.............................. 13.25
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 39
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 400
Clothing................................ 2
Petrol/diesel........................... 140
Road tax................................ 14.43
Car Insurance........................... 51.57
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 41.62
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 24.97
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 17.17
Life assurance ......................... 19.26
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30
Haircuts................................ 16
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 350
Emergency fund.......................... 0
HP Ink Plan............................. 4.49
Ring Doorbell........................... 3.49
Gym Contracts........................... 55
HMRC Overpayment........................ 30.47
Union Fees.............................. 24.99
Dryer Warranty.......................... 16.25
Jewellery Warranty...................... 2.99
Oven Warranty........................... 2.5
Amazon Prime............................ 8.99
Netflix................................. 6.99
Daughter Mobile Phone................... 53.29
Husband Mobile Phone.................... 56
Husband Car Tax......................... 13.56
Husband Car Ins......................... 27.34[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 2704.6[/b]
[b]

Assets[/b]
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 0
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 4000
Other assets............................ 0[b]
Total Assets............................ 4000[/b]
[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 0........(0)........0
Secured Debt.................. 17536....(349.7)....26.2[b]
Total secured & HP debts...... 17536.....-.........- [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
NEW LOOK STORE CARD............119.05....4.02......28.9
CAPITAL ONE ...................1127.34...90.35.....30.34
VANQUIS........................474.45....46.18.....59.92
STUDIO.........................785.3.....54........49.9
KALEIDOSCOPE...................204.49....7.7.......34.95
JACAMO.........................171.67....10........69.9
FINIO LOAN.....................1716......89........49.7
PAYPAL CREDIT..................500.......15........25.9
ZABLE..........................989.......28........36.15
OCEAN..........................200.......20........34.08
MARISOTA.......................2731.85...114.7.....69.9
JD WILLIAMS ...................3481......139.8.....69.9
FREEMANS ......................616.......31.66.....34.95
LA REDOUTE.....................1703......108.7.....39.9
118 118 LOAN...................2009.6....63........34.05
LIKELY LOANS...................856.32....107.......48.2
TAPPILY .......................1361......100.......0
FLUID..........................590.91....13........49.64
118 188 CARD...................473.5.....10........29.6
ZOPA...........................1752......65........36.15
WAVE...........................1215.17...80.62.....39.9
POST OFFICE....................182.66....20........30.34[b]
Total unsecured debts..........23260.31..1217.73...- [/b]

[b]
Monthly Budget Summary[/b]
Total monthly income.................... 3,886
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,704.6
Available for debt repayments........... 1,181.4
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 1,217.73[b]
Amount short for making debt repayments. -36.33[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]
Total assets (things you own)........... 4,000
Total HP & Secured debt................. -17,536
Total Unsecured debt.................... -23,260.31[b]
Net Assets.............................. -36,796.31[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.
Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

Thanks

Whilst you have started to make some progress and undoubtedly after the wedding you will have an extra £350 to throw towards the debts the sheer number of debts and high interest is overwhelming so I would use the marking money to pay the debt down. The emergency is now. The Marisota, JD Williams, Jacamo and Vanquis are particularly high so any spare money you do get I would pay off those. Similarly for less than £900 you could clear five of those lower balance debts. Do make sure you close them as you go. Catalogues are notoriously expensive.

Martico · 15 February 2023 at 5:37PM

I'd also second the advice of exploring attendance allowance. It's not means tested, and though the form is quite long, I believe that you can stake a claim first before filling everything out, and then if approved the payments are back-dated to when you first register a claim.

stymied · 15 February 2023 at 5:54PM

Thanks for the clarification @Brie x

In a mess! Advice needed

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