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Progress not Perfection
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WHAT!!!!!!!!I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb. ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.1 -
Forgot to mention this other piece of evidence - yesterday I took the dog out on my own as he didn’t feel up to it. Mr SA was in bed when I left so I locked the door. On my return I put my keys in the basket in the hall we all put our keys in. Bear in mind I would’ve been in the office today normally and I hadn’t indicated to Mr SA I was planning to WFH again. Today I realised my keys were missing from the basket. I looked all over for them. I finally found them in his coat pocket!This is all starting to appear very suspicious. I confronted him with it and he’s denied all knowledge of how they got in his coat pocket and has tried to blame it on me!!I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)5
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Hmmm…yes, I can certainly see why you are feeling a bit suspicious SA! You would think it would have occurred to him that if he keeps falling like this then it will put a limit on how long he will practically be able to stay at home, no?🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her0 -
A very interesting observation, SA! Was he manipulative before his illness? Or could it be an acting out of feelings of physical insecurity?I think a bit of sunshine is good for frugal living. (Cranky40)
The sun's been out and I think I’m solar powered (Onebrokelady)
Fashion on the Ration 2025: Fabric 2, men's socks 3, Duvet 7.5, 2 t-shirts 10, men's socks 3, uniform top 0, hat 0, shoes 5 = 30.5/68
2024: Trainers 5, dress 7, slippers 5, 2 prs socks (gift) 2, 3 prs white socks 3, t-shirts x 2 10, 6 prs socks: mostly gifts 6, duvet set 7.5 = 45.5/68 coupons
20.5 coupons used in 2020. 62.5 used in 2021. 94.5 remaining as of 21/3/221 -
Yes he was very manipulative before. Always had been a bone of contention as I’m fiercely independent.Cherryfudge said:A very interesting observation, SA! Was he manipulative before his illness? Or could it be an acting out of feelings of physical insecurity?I get knocked down but I get up again (Chumbawamba, Tubthumping)0 -
That is actually very devious.I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb. ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.2 -
I think you might be onto something...I think a bit of sunshine is good for frugal living. (Cranky40)
The sun's been out and I think I’m solar powered (Onebrokelady)
Fashion on the Ration 2025: Fabric 2, men's socks 3, Duvet 7.5, 2 t-shirts 10, men's socks 3, uniform top 0, hat 0, shoes 5 = 30.5/68
2024: Trainers 5, dress 7, slippers 5, 2 prs socks (gift) 2, 3 prs white socks 3, t-shirts x 2 10, 6 prs socks: mostly gifts 6, duvet set 7.5 = 45.5/68 coupons
20.5 coupons used in 2020. 62.5 used in 2021. 94.5 remaining as of 21/3/221 -
This is so distressing to hear (though obviously much more distressing for you to experience). If he's not able to regulate his emotional behaviour to the extent he could actually do himself extreme damage or worse, and you're experiencing coercive control in your relationship and home then...
I know you're so impressively tough and competent but this really, really needs flagging to all the relevant health and social care services 'involved'. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this x6 -
That must be very unsettling SA. If he really is falling deliberately to get you to stay at home that is coercive control and absolutely unacceptable. I think I would be tempted to say whether he falls or not you are going into the office as it means you get some respite from him as he is very difficult and hard work. Any sympathy I had for him went out of the window when he told you not to be stupid when you are struggling. You do so much for him and unless you were there as a carer he would definitely have to go into some sort of residential care presumably. From the sound of it this lack of empathy was there even before the lymphoma.
Maybe in future keep your keys in your handbag.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
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