Progress not Perfection

IzzyBee

Don’t you dare feel guilty there is someone with him and you need a break even if it’s only for a few hours go and have a peaceful day enjoy your time out meeting your friend or I will find out where you live and I will come down and chase you out 😂

Sunshine_girl2

You deserve a day for you SA . Your DD can look after Mr SA for once . 

Enjoy your day out with your friend , have a great time . 

Humdinger1

@Sun_Addict you totally need and deserve this break! It's an awful reflection on the system and the lack of support available unless you kick and scream; spoiler alert you would be totally justified in doing this.  Because you soldier on, that's what you're expected to do.  In my view, this isn't sustainable.   Sorry, this isn't meant to be a telling-off but you count here.  Love Humdinger xx 

ladyholly

As a carer you have to be very tough which you are but you also need to be persistent and ask ask ask. I know how exhausting that can be but as a carer you are entitled to an assessment and lack of money is not your problem. That's why I suggested headway as they may be able to advocate on your behalf or even a local carers group. This is a long way of saying keep  asking and make a nuisance of yourself.it is sometimes the only way.

Chrystal

I think you'd find that SA wouldn't have any problems from SS with getting help for Mr SA.  They've had it in the past until Mr SA refused to have them any more.
The problem is Mr SA refuses to accept any type of help at all from other people.  Unfortunately other than an ongoing war within the home there's not a lot that can be done.

poppy811

Maybe choose your moment to explain that you both have to plan for the future and that as you both get older you will need some help.  Say you will work with him but saying  no to everything is not an option
emphasise it has to work for both of you.  Introduce what he will accept and gently introduce more help as he gets used to it.
incredibly difficult to do but emphasise it is in his interests to accept some small changes.
 I honestly do not think the current situation is sustainable but understand this is your husband, he didn’t ask to be ill but nor did you expect such heavy and worrying responsibility.  Wishing you all the best,

Toni'sfriend

Please do not feel guilty about having some time to yourself. You are in an incredibly difficult situation. It reminds me a bit of my Mother, who had some health problems (not as bad as Mr SA admittedly) but thought that my brother and I should be at her beck and call 24/7. Because I only lived five minutes away I'd get phone calls to come to her at all times and how my brother's marriage survived I do not know apart from the fact that my sister in law was a saint. I think what I'm trying to say is you have to have a life yourself. You have to say no sometimes and not feel guilty. And that's the hard part you do feel guilty. If you can get some help please, please take it. I hope you had a lovely time out with your friend.

MatyMoo

Just reported a spammer on SA’s old thread ☹️

milann

Enjoy your afternoon out. 

ladyholly

I hope you have had a lovely afternoon and feel a little refreshed.