Find the SecondStar and soar, and then straight on till the morning…

SecondStar

This feels like an appropriate time for a finance thread. I’m in County Down, Northern Ireland.

Story time:

My ex partner and I broke up 2 weeks ago. We had been together for 4.5 years, we bought a house together as joint tenants 2 years ago, and had been combining incomes and savings for 2 years. We have separated our savings, and he is exploring options to finance buying me out of the house - this will be 10k cash to give to me, + 1k each for fees. I’ve asked him to do this by mid January, and if it’s not possible then we will sell the house.

This Friday will be the first time in 2 years that I am making a single income budget. I am apprehensive, but I’m looking forward to only being in charge of my own money, and my own future.

I’m not going to post a full SOA just yet, as my outgoings are very far off the norm right now. I’m staying with a friend, so I have no utilities to pay. I’m still paying 50% of the mortgage & rates to keep my share in the house equal. I have cancelled all my subscription services (Netflix, Disney+, Spotify) as my friend is letting me use her accounts.

I have a dog, a cat, and a rabbit. The dog and cat are senior, and are on medicines and treatments which are on-going. I already get their medicines online with prescriptions, and there’s no other way to cut their medical bills. Their food/litter costs could come down, but this is their normal costs for now.



CURRENT CASH SAVINGS: 4.5k.
(I am expecting a 1.5k approx inheritance soon, but no exact date or amount, yet).



MONTHLY INCOME: £1,520.


Current monthly OUTGOINGS while living with my friend - 

FIXED:

50% Mortgage - £180.50
50% Rates - £37.50

Mobile phone handset - £39 (1 year left on contract)
SIM - £10
Mobile phone storage plan - £7
Health insurance - £12 (can’t stop this, need to pay for 6 months subscription to qualify for a necessary diagnostic)
Car insurance - £38

Pet meds - £85
Pet arthritis jabs - £145

Train/bus - £85 (12 x commutes to work each month, cheaper than petrol + parking)

VARIABLE:

Pet food/litter - £100

Groceries - £200 (hoping to come in well under this, but being conservative while I get used to a single budget)
Petrol - £40
Therapy - £90 (2 sessions a month, a reduction on 4 sessions a month)
Dog hydrotherapy- £160 (4 sessions a month, could reduce to 2 sessions a month if necessary)

Total current outgoings - £1,229.


INCOME - OUTGOINGS = £291.



I know that therapy and hydrotherapy are luxuries. It’s likely that I’ll have to stop therapy in the future for financial reasons - my lovely therapist will offer subsidised sessions for a while, but not indefinitely - for now, I’d rather keep them on while I can afford them, as I do need the support right now.

In the same vein, while I can still afford it I’ll still keep on the hydrotherapy for my dog - currently, he needs it regularly to rebuild muscle wastage in his hindquarters. Once he’s up to a maintenance level we can look at reducing the frequency of these sessions in the future.

Goals in mind -

1. Buy my own house.
Something <90k, so it’s well within my monthly income.

I want to own somewhere that is completely mine, for the first time. I want to comfortably afford my own space, even if all I can afford is something tiny and unspectacular.


2. Declutter & downsize my possessions.
I am starting this in the new year. I’ll be going over to the house when my ex is working late shift/weekends.
I’ll likely rent a small skip, and I’m going to ruthless. The goal will be to get rid of at least 50% of my stuff.
Much of this is furniture, clothes, craft materials and supplies that I don’t use any more, old paperwork, and knick-knacks that don’t spark joy anymore. Also one-off items that I can borrow or rent if I ever need - camping gear, gardening tools, some DIY tools etc.

I want my own space to be simple, easily maintained, and visually peaceful. I can’t deal with any more stress in my life, especially not from inanimate objects.


3. Save as much cash as possible.
Pre & post property purchase. As above, I have 3 pets, 2 seniors, who rely on me to give them the best care possible. They are uninsurable, and my aim is to build back up a cushion of at least 1k per pet in case of emergencies.

I do not feel secure without cash in the bank. I anticipate that these will be an expensive few months, and I want to hoard as many pounds and pennies as possible, while I still can.



I hope people might follow along with me, while I start this very new path!

CreditCardJunkie

You sound like you're in a great place to manage everything! Is a property under 90k realistic in your area?

bekah89

Good luck on your journey! A good time to be able to save some money while you’re staying with your friend. Groceries will be able to come down a lot, I live on my own and budget 150 but am working on bringing that down, that includes alcohol which I’ll be cutting out for atleast January. Definitely save an emergency fund for any unexpected costs for the pets 

SecondStar

CreditCardJunkie said:

You sound like you're in a great place to manage everything! Is a property under 90k realistic in your area?

Thank you, it’s good to get everything down on ‘paper’.

I’d be looking to buy in County Down, Northern Ireland - I’ll edit my post.

Property for under 90k does exist here, it’s just maybe small, in need of DIY, or in less pleasant neighbourhoods. I’m hoping I can find the right balance of these 3 to suit my needs.

SecondStar

bekah89 said:

Good luck on your journey! A good time to be able to save some money while you’re staying with your friend. Groceries will be able to come down a lot, I live on my own and budget 150 but am working on bringing that down, that includes alcohol which I’ll be cutting out for atleast January. Definitely save an emergency fund for any unexpected costs for the pets 

Thank you!

Our joint grocery budget used to be £350 +£50 for his lunches at work. It’s been a long time since I shopped on a single budget, so £200 seems realistic until I’m able to get more data, in time.

 Honestly, losing the pet emergency fund when we split savings has been one of the most stressful parts. Both my dog and cat already have ongoing medical issues, and vet bills can be so easy to rack up!

SecondStar

‘When you only have two pennies left in the world, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will sustain life, the flowers will give you a reason to live.’

I don’t have many pennies, right now, but I am keeping this proverb in mind.

This week, my aunt is sending on copies of documents for the inheritance that’s expected. I’m hoping it’ll come in soon - it’s been a 3 year wait so far.



It’s been 2.5 weeks since my ex and I broke up. I’m incredibly grateful and indebted to my lovely friend for letting me stay with her, but if I’m honest it is difficult to live with any other person right now. I love her to bits, but I am just really, desperately, craving my own space. Somewhere I can have complete silence, and space to feel my emotions fully, without having to think about being an unobtrusive guest, a considerate friend, or a grateful beggar.

I told my ex to explore financing options to buy me out by mid January. I’m so antsy, I don’t know how I’ll hang on that long.

I read the decluttering thread and feel so jealous, because I just want to be DOING something. I have so much pent up anxiety; I want to be bagging things up, hiring a skip, calling charity shops, moving furniture. I want to be calling estate agents and solicitors, if necessary. I want to be booking my own viewings for properties.

I want to be running, lifting things, driving fast, exerting myself. I’m sick and tired of the holiday slumber, and I want to grab January by the throat and shake it like a terrier.

I am sick of the inertia, of the extended feeling of helplessness that has dogged me for the last 15 months. I am ready and wanting to take control of my own life, and to put my foot down and just get on with it.

KajiKita

I get your frustration but it will come. Two weeks really isn’t long to arrange enough finances to buy someone out of a house. 

Nothing stopping you looking at the local market to see what you can afford though 😊

Perhaps getting out for a long walk somewhere today would be a good idea?

KK

SecondStar

KajiKita said:

I get your frustration but it will come. Two weeks really isn’t long to arrange enough finances to buy someone out of a house. 

Nothing stopping you looking at the local market to see what you can afford though 😊

Perhaps getting out for a long walk somewhere today would be a good idea?

KK

A long walk would probably do me the world of good, I need to get out of my head!

I think it’s because I’ve spent a great deal of time this past year making ‘practice plans’ in case we broke up. Mentally, I already have all my ducks in a row, I just want to start implementing things.

I check the market every day - I’ve got 22 tabs open with possible properties, and a top 5. But I’d feel dishonest if I arranged any viewings until I’m able to proceed - if I get my cash, or if the house goes in the market.

2 weeks isn’t long, but I’m not owed 10’s of thousands - I’m owed 10k on the dot, and he has 3.7k in cash from splitting our savings. All he needs to do is meet with a mortgage advisor and check if he can take out a 102k mortgage for the 95k we still owe on the house. Once we know that, we can arrange a solicitor and get it done. 

He earns the same as me, and I was able to get 100k (couldn’t afford it personally - variable outgoings are too high - but he could). He could easily make up a few more grand by selling some things, or borrowing smaller amounts from family.

SecondStar

So I went to speak again with the mortgage advisor I’d visited a couple of months ago.

The first visit, I was seeing if I would be able to buy out my ex (I can’t), and this time I was checking my own affordability if he is able to buy me out.

Good news - I can borrow up to a max of 90k, which if I put down the 10k that I’m owed as a 10% deposit, means I can afford a 100k house, max.

Given that I’ve been looking to buy at the 80-90k mark, this means I should be well within affordability. I am thrilled!

Still need to hear from my ex about his affordability to remortgage and borrow the cash to buy me out, but it’s good to know that I’m able to borrow enough in my own name.

I also got to speak to my favourite colleague about all this mess today, and she was super supportive and kind, and I’m feeling a bit better today.

KajiKita

That’s really good news 😊 I can understand why that’s made you feel a load better ❤️

KK

Humdinger1

@SecondStar wonderful news! You will get there and I've subscribed to cheer you on.   Love Humdinger xx