Find the SecondStar and soar, and then straight on till the morning…

doingitanyway

SecondStar said:

Thank you for the kind words.

I’m sorry you’re in the same boat, and I hate that this resonates with you too. It’s truly a sh*tty situation.

Sending you many vibes, feel free to pop in here as much as you need to - we’ll both get through this.

KajiKita said:

@doingitanyway - wishing you lots of luck and positive outcomes for your process.

KK x

Thank you both. Really sweet. I will be ok, determined to be. Like you @SecondStar I have an amazing friend who I live with, but sometimes I think I'll go mad if I can't be by myself in a safe and peaceful environment.

Great that you found somewhere. It confirms the crazy market of over offering and block bookings is over. Hopefully I will be right behind you in finding a home too.

I'm glad you are able to keep up the counselling.

doingitanyway

How are things going?

SecondStar

doingitanyway said:

How are things going?

Hello! It’s all quiet on the western front, at the moment.

I have my building survey being done this afternoon - I’m meeting the surveyor at the property. I’m hoping it’s good news/nothing to report.

If the survey goes well, it should just be a straight forward admin process between the 4 solicitors to get the transfer of deeds/equity done, and to have my conveyancing completed.

May be easier said than done - my ex has already taken 3 weeks to sign, witness, and post the initial documents for the solicitor acting on behalf of his new lender, and last I heard he hadn’t even instructed his own solicitor yet.

It’s incredibly frustrating to have this process dependant on someone who is no longer on your team. It is difficult to maintain urgency, whilst still being civil.

SecondStar

So the survey went well!

I had a couple of people scoff at me for doing a Level 3 (building survey) on such a small, cheap property, but I would always rather be safe than sorry - especially when it comes to things like construction, which I have zero experience of.

There were a couple of things of note; the 20 year old boiler, and some blown exterior render making small patches of damp on 1 wall. Nothing sale-stopping though, thank goodness.

No packing this weekend, though I was able to take the last bags from my art studio to the dump, and my friend took a look through the supplies I’d marked for donations, and took a box of things for herself. The rest will be going to a local centre which put out a call for materials and supplies for their on-going outreach projects.

My ex is working all next weekend, so I’ll get back in and carry on.

I’ll need to list and remove most of the furniture from the studio, and then the next stage will be the eaves storage in the studio. If I remember right, that’s where most of my books are, along with some boxes of collectibles and mementoes, some electronics, and a suitcase of clothes which belonged to my mum. 

KajiKita

Really glad the survey went well and no significant issues were found 😊

Hoping that the clearing out / down is quite cathartic?

KK

SecondStar

If I could give my ex a good swift kick where it hurts, that would be the most cathartic!

I went round unexpectedly to walk my dog this morning. My ex was upstairs with the bedroom door closed, and found a pair of shoes belonging to a female friend of his in the living room - said female friend was nowhere to be seen.

I presume she was closeted upstairs, behind the closed bedroom door, where my sh*tbag ex is still sleeping on my goddamn mattress.

I walked to dog, and spoke to a friend who talked me down from storming in and causing a scene. When I got back from my walk 30 mins later, all her stuff was gone. I didn’t say anything, nor did he. I left.

To add insult to injury, when I messaged him asking for updates, the useless sod hasn’t even instructed his own solicitor yet.

It’s been 4 weeks, and he was off work all last week just gone. I guess it was more important for him to do things like mow the lawns, and replace windowsills, rather than pick up a phone or send an email to instruct a bloody solicitor.

I’m not sure what I can do here, short of moving myself back into the house and being an inconvenience to him and his ‘friend’. 

Everything is ready to go on my end, and I just want this to be over. I don’t want it to keep dragging out.

KajiKita

Morning 😊

Where’ve you got to on your house purchase? Survey go okay? Do you have an idea of a date when you might move?

KK

SecondStar

Good morning @kajikita !

Everything is going smoothly thank you. I think I manifested something when I fantasies about kicking my ex in the nethers - I discovered he had to have emergency testicle removal the other week!!

If it was anyone else I’d have a great deal of sympathy. As it is, I don’t - everything just feels a bit fairer now. Like there’s been some balance brought.

Survey went well - couple of bits of note, but nothing to halt the sale.

My ex’s lender’s solicitor has drawn up the transfer of title deed. Now that will be sent to my ex’s solicitor for him to have signed & witnesses, and they’ll also draw up the transfer of equity deed. Then it’ll be posted to my solicitor for me to do the same, and then I’ll be able to get my money and leave.

Everything is going well on the buying side, too. Vendor has sorted out the drains which got raised in the survey, and the estate agent touched base on Friday to see how everything was moving along.

No dates yet - can’t exchange until I have my equity. I’d love to be in by Easter, but I don’t know if that’s a bit ambitious. The latest I can stay with my friend is 15th May, but I’m confident we can have everything wrapped up by then.

It’s been beautiful weather here this weekend. I can’t wait to be moved in and enjoying the sunshine in my new garden.

KajiKita

Wow ….! Remind me never to cross you!! 😂 Poor ex - that must have been fairly shocking for him …. 😳😉

I am soooo pleased it is all going so smoothly 😊 Really excited for you!

KK

doingitanyway

The house is chugging along nicely. You will soon have your space again. 
I think not having a secure base can send us a little crazy.
It is difficult when you need your ex to take actions with the house I know, but try not to focus on your ex either positively or negatively.
Don't forget what your plan of action is..Find the SecondStar and soar, and then straight on till the morning…