Find the SecondStar and soar, and then straight on till the morning…

SecondStar

Thank you both!


I asked yesterday if he had made any progress with sourcing financing for the buy out - he said no. I asked what his plans for that were. He said he’d ‘make an appointment with a mortgage adviser soon’.

I said it’ll need to be this week, because mid January was our agreed upon deadline for him to do that, and if the buy out isn’t going to be viable for him, then I want the house marketed asap.

He said he’ll speak with someone either before work tomorrow, or on Tuesday as that’s his day off.

I don’t think I ever set a boundary/deadline and then followed up with a consequence in the entire course of our relationship - if I ever tried to set a flimsy boundary, he would stomp all over it, and then I would wilt and make excuses for his bad behaviour, and then let it go like the boundary/need never mattered in the first place.

Not this time. This time I’m going to be dogging his heels. He has no sense of urgency, because he has no need for urgency - he is comfortable and tucked up in our house, and I’m the one living out of a suitcase with a deadline of June to find somewhere to live.

I’m going to bully him until I get my share of the money, one way or another.


In other news, I got a letter laying out exact figures from the small inheritance I’ve been owed since 2019 - 2.2k, which is more than I expected.

No payment date mentioned, but I’m hoping it’ll be soon.

KajiKita

Good for you for standing up for yourself and continuing through with what you asked for. Not sure if 'bully' is quite the right word .... 'Persistently support and encourage' sounds more .... let's say .... positive ...? 

Perhaps, if he still hasn't made any progress by the end of next week, make appointments for a couple of EAs to come round and value the house, whilst he is in of course, so the reality of a possible sale of his nest becomes a little more tangible. All whilst staying on the most cheerful and impeccable of friendly terms, of course .....    

Congrats on the inheritance  Do you have a savings account you can stash it away in so it can earn some interest for you whilst you are waiting to use it? 

KK

Humdinger1

@SecondStar totally agree with your thinking and with @KajiKita.  Well done on boundaries...this dude badly needs a reality check and it's fallen to you to deliver it.  Keep us posted love Humdinger xx 

poppy811

I think you will need legal advice as from his perspective he is quite comfortable and probably in no rush to do anything.  Hope you can resolve this amicably without the expense of solicitors but just something to bear in mind

SecondStar

Thank you all.

@poppy811 I think he’s more generally incompetent, rather than wilfully spiteful, but I do have a solicitor up my sleeve if it gets to that point.

He’s told me he’ll arrange an appointment either today or tomorrow. Im
hoping for some good news by the end of the week.

MrsCatz

Fingers crossed for you.

SecondStar

So he told me yesterday that his appointment is going to be in Saturday. Talk about taking it to the wire, useless sod.

We’re meeting on Sunday to discuss the outcome from that meeting. If there is any good in this world, it will be the news I’m hoping for, and I’ll be booking viewings on Monday.

Manager has been very supportive. I usually work 2 days at home and 3 in the office, but manager offered to arrange my next 3 weeks to be all work from home, if it’ll help.

Few days more to wait, though goodness knows I’m sick of waiting.

SecondStar

So he messaged me after his appointment this morning, and said he was able to get the mortgage and was applying for an agreement in principle.

I’m hoping he’s taken into account the money he will need to pay me, and not just the money for the house.

We’re still sitting down tomorrow to discuss figures, so I need to get my thoughts together.

I still have a lot of Feelings about all of this, but I’m trying to focus on the things that will serve me, and leave behind the things which won’t.

I should be able to start booking viewings soon, which is exciting.

KajiKita

That sounds really promising and like it’s time for a list …. ❤️😊

Wishing you luck for tomorrow!

KK x

Humdinger1

@SecondStar have subscribed and am loving your diary! What news? Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx