Old member returning in tough times

ladyholly

Dont forget if he gets PIP you may be entitled to carers allowance (if you dont already get it for your son). These benefits are not taking the p. They are to help you with living the best life you can and being able to afford the extras you need like extra heating.

Lanky_larry

Thank you - I don’t currently get carers allowance as I work 4 days a week (I am lucky that my boss allowed me to start working remotely nearly 4 years ago) so I am able to care for my son and work for now.
depending on how my husbands health goes I will need to drop hours eventually but I'm
clinging on as long as possible! 

Blackcats

hello again 

hope you and the family have had a nice day.

I would endorse PIP - our specialist nurse put in the claim for us without us even needing to fill in any paperwork.   Perhaps it would take the pressure off the cost of gas and electricity?

I really feel for you about whether to and how to and when to have the conversation about timescales.  When I had that conversation I compartmentalised the indicative time well away from the positivity and hope of treatment.  I cried and cried when I filled in the form for the insurance but decided that OH deserved to enjoy some of that money so I tried to approach it as a task I could do that helped improve his quality of life.  The hospital were helpful with providing relevant paperwork directly so I never had to read it.

you are doing amazingly well.

Lanky_larry

Gosh you made me cry Blackcats! (Not in a bad way) 
I read your post (well most of it anyway) out to my husband and he has said why don’t we talk to MacMillan sooner rather than later. This is a huge step for him, so I’m keeping it light - I will initiate contact with them and they might be able to advise regarding pip procedures? We don’t have the contact details of a nurse (just the chemo ones, and his oncologist) although there is a lady called Kelly who might be the one actually, she was there when we were told that it had spread to his liver and that treatment would be palliative not curative… we’ve been in such a haze, I really ought to sit down and figure this all out. 

Thank you as always x

juliejim

So sorry to hear your news. Lots of good advice given so far. All I would say is when every one is well enough try and do lots of things together - the zoo, beach, etc - make lots of memories - even making a den and having a picnic in the living room or having a movie night snuggled up in sleeping bags - just ideas, sorry I don't know what disability your son has to be able to tailor them more for his needs to. You're doing really well.

Lanky_larry

Sat outside waiting whilst he has his MRI - having a chuckle at all these signs:

Realised this morning that I forgot about the Very account so have an extra £500 to add to the total to pay off. This is interest free though so will clear before any issues I think. 

Lanky_larry

juliejim said:

So sorry to hear your news. Lots of good advice given so far. All I would say is when every one is well enough try and do lots of things together - the zoo, beach, etc - make lots of memories - even making a den and having a picnic in the living room or having a movie night snuggled up in sleeping bags - just ideas, sorry I don't know what disability your son has to be able to tailor them more for his needs to. You're doing really well.

Thankfully we live right by the beach so we’re there a lot, our goal for 2023 is experiences where possible so you’ve hit the nail on the head. Xx 

CRANKY40

Sorry for what's happening. I was widowed 13 years ago when my son was 4 years old. So....bereavement support payments - you have three months to claim after the event. First payment is £3500 then £350 a month for up to 18 months. Make sure you claim it. Maybe when someone asks what they can do to help they could acquire and keep for you the forms that you need to fill in. 

If your husband gets a death in service payment then you will get a widows pension from whoever he works for. My husband worked for the MOD and honestly they couldn't have been more helpful. The pension people sent a nice man to the house who took photos of the certificates he needed (marriage certificate and child's birth certificate) and filled in the forms for me. The child is now 18 and still receiving his dependants payment - it lasts until he finishes education. 

Make some lists of things that will need attention at some point. Things like swapping utility bills to your name to save those awkward horrible phone calls when you don't feel up to explaining to a stranger on the end of the phone line. Keep posting on here - there's a few of us that have been on this journey.

Take lots of photos and make videos. For what it's worth I wouldn't have felt bad for putting Christmas on the credit card if I were you either. Big hugs x 

Lanky_larry

That’s super helpful, my husband is also MOD.
thank you - we have a VO who helps us with anything we need so I will make sure to keep in touch with them.

thankfully most bills are in my name apart from the insurance on his car, but I will check them all, I need to sort our paperwork out anyway so this will be a good reason. Just get all my ducks in a row. 

satchmo1

For info - cancer patients don't pay hospital parking fees. HTHs