Diary of a 30-something idiot

MeandO

Your weekend with DD sounds lovely and just what you both needed. I bet she loved having one on one time with you.

I’m sorry, but your husband and stepsons are absolutely taking the **** out of you. I know of 4 different families who went to the same festival and the family of 5 (four over 18 adults) were moaning about the £150 the extra food and drink cost them. They also took food and drink with them but obviously were limited to how much they could take. 

I’m going to say it - I hope the weekend with your daughter has given you an insight into how your life could be, you don’t deserve to be treated as a cash cow and general servant. No matter how much better you feel this is than previous relationships, it is not right and you deserve your own life and happiness too F&F and you don’t deserve to struggle so much. Xx

slm6002

I hope you had a good rest of the week whilst your daughter was on half term

warby68

I hope you're ok too - a lot of challenges for you to unpick I know.

foxandflowers

Hi everyone. 

Back in work today, have been neglecting my diary and my budget. The baby seagulls hatched while I was away, so I'm not being very productive and am instead keeping an eye on Steven and Stevie. They're so FLUFFY. My daughter was at her dad's from Wednesday so I did three days of 8am to 6pm. Exhausting doesn't cut it. 

I cancelled the tough mudder. It was the right choice - it was in the middle of August, which if all goes according to plan is going to be exactly when we are moving/about to move/have moved, and I want to be in my new house, decorating and unpacking, not away. I've emailed the solicitor for an update, and to ask when I can expect the draft contracts. I just want to move. 

Used the money from that for fuel, a little food shop, and my hair appointment. Am glad I went to that, even though my scalp is on FIRE today. I have £130 left for the next 3 weeks in my groceries budget. £210 left of the transport budget. I am £21.57 over target on eating out. I set a budget for £30 a month, because I wanted to account for random lunch spends etc, but actually, on Friday we had NO KIDS for the first time in nine months, and I didn't want to cook, so we got KFC and I drank half a bottle of wine, and it was just nice. But now I regret it, because that money could have gone elsewhere. I always end up regretting it. 

Saturday we went to the country park, and spent the day down the beach. Cefn Sidan is 8 miles long, and the waters are really shallow, and the sea was warm. Like, gloriously warm. When we went on honeymoon to Cape Verde, sort of warm. So I just swam and lounged about in there for about 3 hours. Lots of jellyfish though, but luckily no stingies! Then we had a bbq in the car park next to the campervan. Met up with sisters in law & their kids, and eldest stepdaughter who is still staying with them. She is thinking of moving out into her nan's empty cottage, and living independently. Hurrah! She was worried we would feel abandoned, but honestly I'm happy for her, and I hope it gives her a firm footing to step out into the world. She is very naive in many ways, and I only want the best for her. 

Had a discussion about the state of things including our marriage. Explained to husband that I think the beauty of a marriage is that you can change and grow WITH someone, individually and together, and that I only want us to be on the same page and move forward, but I cannot keep bearing the brunt of everything myself. He seemed to be receptive, but I think time will tell, and as other posters have commented, the time away, was an interesting experiment in "single" life. 

Saturday night, listed approximately 80 things on Vinted, watched trashy tv, and fell asleep with a full heart. Sunday I got my daughter back, and we set up the big pool in the garden, had another barbecue, and I read in the sunshine. It was exactly what I needed. 

I have £97.50 pending in my Vinted account, and the TV is up for sale. Someone was going to buy it last night, but I listed it for £200 which is half of what I paid, and he said he would give me £150, then last minute tried to say he could only afford £120, so I said no. Which I am now regretting as I have £2.38 in the bank, and less than quarter of a tank of fuel. 

stymied

If you have 210 + 130 left in the budgets does that mean you have income due soon as that money’s not currently in the bank? Fingers crossed the money arrives before the fuel runs out.

I would have said no too - that was beyond cheeky of your tv buyer!

slm6002

I'm glad that you have had time to relax a little.  The sea sounds very nice.  You shouldn't feel guilty about the off KFC, you don't have much for yourself.

I'm also glad that you have seen and recognised how single life would be, and have had another talk with XH.  Lets hope he makes some changes  

LouisaAlmighty

I'm really sorry and I mean this in the nicest way... But I'm really not sure how you can call your sister in law naive. I think you are very much head in the sand about your own situation. 

Maybe you should try read this diary from the very start as if you were an outsider looking in. 

Being mortgage free which you are is something that people dream their whole life of! You have been for a long time and you are still in the situation you are in. I think you still haven't really had your light bulb moment.

I wish you all the best and will follow but I think you really need to take a look at everything xx

MeandO

I think you did the right thing with the TV buyer F&F, he was trying it on. Other buyers will come along.

It sounds like you had a nice weekend at the country park and beach (you're also really close to me too!). I'm glad you had the discussion with your husband, hopefully some of it sinks in. 
Well done on the Vinted listings too, 80 must have taken you ages! I listed 2 yesterday and that was enough... Could hubby start listing things for you in the day perhaps? One job less for you to do.

Please don't feel guilty about the takeaway, you work hard for everyone else and get very little back. You deserve a treat now and then. xx

MeandO

I think you did the right thing with the TV buyer F&F, he was trying it on. Other buyers will come along.

It sounds like you had a nice weekend at the country park and beach (you're also really close to me too!). I'm glad you had the discussion with your husband, hopefully some of it sinks in. 
Well done on the Vinted listings too, 80 must have taken you ages! I listed 2 yesterday and that was enough... Could hubby start listing things for you in the day perhaps? One job less for you to do.

Please don't feel guilty about the takeaway, you work hard for everyone else and get very little back. You deserve a treat now and then. xx

Baileys_Babe

LouisaAlmighty said:

I'm really sorry and I mean this in the nicest way... But I'm really not sure how you can call your sister in law naive. I think you are very much head in the sand about your own situation. 

Maybe you should try read this diary from the very start as if you were an outsider looking in. 

Being mortgage free which you are is something that people dream their whole life of! You have been for a long time and you are still in the situation you are in. I think you still haven't really had your light bulb moment.

I wish you all the best and will follow but I think you really need to take a look at everything xx

@LouisaAlmighty I believe that Foxesandflowers is saying the stepdaughter is naive and that she has been staying with her sister-in-law.