Diary of a 30-something idiot

jokono

One thing to ponder on - how would you feel if your daughter was in a relationship like yours, being treated as you are now? Because what she sees at home is what she will consider a normal relationship and acceptable behaviour.

stymied

Can ex-wife be asked to provide spending money for the festival, or did step son get money for his 18th? If so, it’s a perfect time to use it x

slm6002

Afraid I am another who has seen this kind of behaviour before and it didn't end well.  The only 2 people you should be providing and caring for are yourself and your daughter.  If you keep doing everything for everyone else, there will be nothing left for either of you.

Maybe we are being unfair and DH has been looking for work and going for interviews, or maybe he suffers with an illness that will not allow him to work.  If so he needs to claim the benefits instead and then help out around the house.  I will say that he is old enough to work out himself where the money for the festival will come from.  That is not your problem to worry about.  They are his children that he should be paying for not you, even though I know you care for them.

You sat down with him a while back and he agreed to help.  Has this happened?  

It just sounds like he gets to live rent free, eats for free, entertained for free, while you are working yourself to the bone every hour of the day.  For just your eyes, write down a list of all the things he does for you and your girl.  Do you think it is similar to your list of things you do for him and his children?  Are you his mother or his equal / wife?

foxandflowers

Good afternoon all. 🤔 Lots of comments to think about, but honestly too exhausted to do individual replies. Will be sorting the marriage allowance out ASAP though, thanks for reminding me.

Yesterday ended up being an absolute day of it.

Around 2pm our buyer came to the house, while husband was out, and I was at work. He spent 25 minutes poking around, then got on his motorbike and drove to the estate agents office and said if he didn't get access to the property by end of play, he was pulling out. They rang me to see if I could come back home and move the dog so a viewing could occur. Afraid I did not comply, was utterly outraged at the audactity of the man to walk around my property when nobody was there. Doubly annoyed as if I was selling a traditional property with a gated rear garden, he would never have had access and would have had to wait out front like A NORMAL HUMAN WOULD. As an aside: I have a BIG dog, that looks threatening, and people walking around my property scares me as it wouldn't take much for someone to ring the police about a dangerous dog and then it would be a Marshall and Millions situation, and that would be awful for a dog that is at home, minding his business. Which is why we have signs up that say "Caution: Dog roaming free" AND security cameras. 👿👿👿
 
Lots of ranting and raving later, including a demand for £1000 reduction off the price agreed as he had been "inconvenienced" (I ask you in this day and age, who doesn't have a mobile telephone?? And if you do have one, why are you not blooming answering it?? And who is earning £500 a day self employed?? Can I work there?? ) he agreed to come back on Saturday. The EA said to me he hopes the other party puts an offer in on Thursday, as this buyer is rapidly becoming a total nightmare. 

Please send me good energy for Thursday's viewing -because I don't want to sell to him either. In fact, at this point I'm still so wound up over it, that I hope he falls off his stupid motorbike.

Eldest stepson arrived last night. Nice to see him but like all teenage boys, he has hollow legs. Chucked a £3 pizza in him and left to walk the dog. Took over an hour to walk him, because they were muck spreading on the field by the river and he caught the scent of a mole, and I was too angry to want to go back to the house quickly.

Eventually came home, cleaned the kitchen, then spent a bit of time scanning in books and CDs on Music Magpie/We Buy Books/Ziffit. WBB = £0.64p for 3 items (need many more to get to £5 minimum). MM = £1.33 for 13 items (again, would like to reach £5 before I send). Ziffit = £4.37 for 6 items (aiming for £10). The trouble is, some of my books wont scan in, and some of them I really don't want to get rid of because they are like my very best friends, and when we move I want at least one full bookshelf. 

On lunch today I went to pawn husband's silver (with permission this time) and got £93 so that will do the food shop for the boys before they leave for the festival (It's in Margam @MeandO - same one?) and a bit of fuel and then I get paid on Thursday and will have a sit down and a long hard look at my budget pots. Also got full redemption figures for the three rings I already pawned, and I have until the 19th July to pay for them, or roll over the loans. 355.47 to redeem, 132.47 to roll over for another six months. I absolutely need those rings back, as they are my parents. And I'm hoping to redeem the silver I pawned today on Saturday, and then take it to the market and see if I can sell it. 

I'm very much hoping Child Maintenance gets paid in tomorrow, but I'm not convinced. 

Got someone coming tonight to get a Tassimo for £15, and I've also got husband's switch to list on FB Marketplace. Cex wouldn't take it because there is a condensation mark under the screen ):

No real interest in my wedding dress yet. Have had one girl message me on FB, but she stopped replying. 55 views on eBay, but no watchers. And one man on Vinted who messaged me to say he would pay me asking price for videos of me trying on the dress. 🤔🤔🤔 Weirdo alert! 

Dreading tomorrow. It will be absolute chaos getting everyone festival ready, juggling the school run, Brownies, and the Big Clean. Maybe some money will be left for me to buy a bottle of wine to cry into. 🥂

slm6002

Good on you for not rushing home for viewing - I would have been just as mad as you.  I'd almost be tempted to say sorry I no longer want your offer.  Sounds like if he doesn't get his way he could easily pull out at the last minute

SuzeQStan

Your buyer is out of order - listen to your EA (can’t believe i actually said to listen to an EA lol) there are massive alarms ringing about this buyer. Reasonable people do not act like that.

F&F - about the pawn shop stuff - it is literally hurting my heart to read this. 

If it were me I’d be telling OH to pay his own dam festival as surely your mum and dads rings are a lot more important, right?!?

New_in_the_fens

I agree with @SuzeQStan - a buyer being that difficult so early in the sales process is massive warning bells. He’ll probably get close to exchange then come up with reasons why he won’t proceed without a huge reduction. When someone shows you what they are like, don’t ignore it. 

As I’ve said before, the is a business transaction. If you worked in retail, this is the sort of customer you hate to deal with. A pub landlord might ban him for behaving badly. You don’t have to put up. There are better, more stable buyers out there - and you deserve better (in all aspects of your life ❤️)

Jellytotts

That would be ringing serious alarm bells with me too.  Not worth the hassle of selling to him, he'll just end up costing you more money you don't have.

MeandO

I’m afraid I would be refusing to sell to him too F&F He sounds like a nutter and you can guarantee he will be more trouble down the line when you have already paid for X, Y and Z. It’s not worth it. He will end up costing you money for nothing.

Yes, same festival too. Do you live nearby? I’m dreading the Ex taking DS tbh. 

Sending love and hugs to you. Make sure you and DD have a nice weekend together xx

CRANKY40

New_in_the_fens said:

I agree with @SuzeQStan - a buyer being that difficult so early in the sales process is massive warning bells. He’ll probably get close to exchange then come up with reasons why he won’t proceed without a huge reduction. When someone shows you what they are like, don’t ignore it. 

That's exactly what I was thinking - he wants to push it as far as he can so that when you're ready to exchange he will suddenly offer less money.