Diary of a 30-something idiot

Bluegreen143

Some good ideas on sourcing boxes. I agree that rather than spending £ you don’t have renting storage space, it’s better to just accept living in boxes - if you don’t have room in a garage, could you designate a bedroom as a dumping ground? You can stack them up high and they take up less floor space than you think.

Also - remember that everything you declutter now is one less item to pack and move 😜 

warby68

Another no to the storage unit - its 2 moves ultimately , you still need boxes and you can't afford the expense

How have you ended up with yet another dud vehicle? You have mentioned a history of poor vehicle deals from the get go of your overspending. I already agree there are exceptional circumstances and the weekend activity may have to be sacrificed once or twice. Not nice but the damage on balance is probably worse.

Why on earth is Mr Fox not well on with the packing?

You are going to break my love if you keep absorbing everything on your own,  but please go with regular solutions to regular problems - they are the common ones for a reason. In this case its that everyone who can mucks in a bit more than normal ( are you listening Mr Fox?) and you live out of boxes for a while if you have to. If you absolutely have to, buy a few boxes of the same size to get going - they stack neatly then and take up less room. I once had to pack up a 4 bed on my own with 2 under 8's  and a job (good reasons for OH not helping much that time)  - it was awful but it was amazing how little room the matching set of boxes took up compared to my previous cobbled together efforts. 

So sorry about your ex. I assume he isn't paying either.

foxgloves

Don't even THINK about spending money you don't have on paying for storage. There is no way on earth I would do that & I am (admittedly after having had to sort out decades of overspending) in a much stronger financial position than you. Ask around to see if anyone has any decent boxes. When we moved here, we flattened & shoved all our moving boxes up in the loft in case they might come in useful to someone & sure enough, when S-i-L moved house, she was delighted to be able to come & collect a big pile of free boxes. Supermarkets often have them....& you can also ask, as I would imagine they have to pay to have their trade waste collected. Another potential source of boxes = garden centres. I was at one only the other day where they were directing people with plants to a big pile of 'help yourself' boxes. The thing about moving house is that ALL of us have to live among piles of boxes for a while, it's part of it. With your finances so fragile, paying for storage is just unnecessary.
And I do agree with other posters who have said that everyone should be helping to pack. It takes a long time & should in no way be the job of one person....especially the one who is already working full time.
F x

stymied

Hi, given that your new house is substantially smaller, can you shut down a similar amount of space from your current house and use that as built in space to store your packed boxes?

I hope you have some good luck soon! x

MeandO

It’s decisions like the storage unit that creates debt, Fox. So what if you’re surrounded by boxes at Christmas? I’ve done it before, it’s no hardship and it’s not forever. As others have said, Mr Fox should have half the house packed by now and should be using the time when you’re at work to de clutter and get rid of stuff. Genuine question, but what does he do all day?

similarly, if you don’t have the money to pick the step kids up me take trains then their father needs to have the conversation with the respective mothers that it’s not possible for X amount of time because of your financial situation. Why should mini fox and yourself be going without because of this? I’m sorry, you’re not going to like this, but if seeing his children was so important to him he’d be earning money to facilitate it.

millymolly22

Totally agree with MeandO.   You should not be worrying about this weekend.  If he wants/needs to see his children then for once please let him sort it out himself.  It is not your problem to solve.

MeandO

Fox, please bear in mind that we all want the best for you and mini fox and we are absolutely rooting for you. It may not feel like it, but you have a little army of online cheerleaders! I guess it’s easier to see things from the outside rather than when you’re in the midst of things. Xx

Bluegreen143

If I feel a bit uncomfortable reading the waves of criticism of your marriage, I can only guess how you feel Fox. 

I can’t remember if I’ve recommended Ramit Sethi’s podcast “Money for Couples” to you - if not, it might be worth a listen. It blends pretty sound financial advice with insightful coaching of the couples to better communicate and explore their money psychology (often rooted in their childhoods). I find it fascinating and have been able to apply some of it to my own life and how I communicate about money with my husband. 

2021rdsunshine

Once again I would love to remind people of the principles of this forum. I have no doubt whatsoever that everyone wants to support Fox . However, reminding Fox again and again of what we believe is wrong in her relationship, it’s obviously not supporting her. None of us know what’s behind her closed doors . Fox is an adult and she sounds a very intelligent and capable woman. If she hasn’t acted on all the issues that some people  have mentioned, I believe it’s because she doesn’t see the need for it. Like Bluegreen said, it must be very uncomfortable for Fox to read some comments.

Fox if you come near Cardiff , I have plenty of boxes that you can have for your house move. 

ET22

Definitely don’t pay for storage, it is a waste of money it really is. I think you don’t like criticism of your relationship, people have said lots about it but it’s up to you what you do, you have the info and support if you decide to change it. Do read up on it though too, it definitely won’t hurt anyway. I’m not sure if I did read earlier in the diary that you said it was a fawning response to previous relationships, I could be wrong. It takes a hell of a lot to break free of patterns like that so treat yourself kindly first. After all if everyone else is dependent on you, you are the most important person in the family, not the kids x 

I hope the move goes well and you are settled in your house before Christmas.