Diary of a 30-something idiot

MeandO

Just to add, Fox, the lack of funds are not your fault. The fact you don’t have enough money coming in to pay for everything is not your fault. You are doing an amazing job getting this far on your own, which is what you are - alone. Yes, you need to work on budgeting and you have issues to deal with regarding money-management, but we’ve all been there and that’s why we’re on this site. However, even the greatest, most frugal, money-saving budget kings and queens would have an extremely difficult task trying to do everything you do, for everyone you do it for, on your income alone. It is just not feasible. You have to stop blaming yourself for this. You need help in the form of more income into the household, in whatever form that takes. Xx

avawren

Hi Fox and Flowers
I hope you don’t mind me commenting on your diary but I have been reading it since you started it and I feel compelled to comment.

Can I start by saying that you are amazing by juggling everything for everyone and show great tenacity and resilience x 

Selling your house again to clear the debts is not the answer, you have a great asset and selling again is going to eat into the equity that you have, not to mention having to pay solicitors fees, moving fees, decoration, new furniture and all the other incidentals that always occur which will end up been paid for from the money meant for debt repayment. 

Debt repayment isn’t fun but then neither is paying a mortgage for 25 years. At the moment you have a paid for roof over your head which is priceless I worry that if you sell again the debts won’t end up getting paid off and  then the whole process starts again albeit with less equity.

If you keep repeating this cycle you are going to end up in a position where you will either need a mortgage or end up renting neither of which you can afford to do on one wage and with significant debt.

Your little girl doesn’t need all the hobbies and clubs what she needs is a stable upbringing and a mum setting good examples of what a healthy relationship looks like, which unfortunately she isn’t seeing at the moment.

i know this has been said before but Mr Fox needs to step up and find a job. He needs to pay for his own kids, PlayStation, vapes, protein foods, credit card debt etc himself and you need to focus on your little girls needs as well as your own.

The way out of this is to budget according to what you earn at the moment, not based on what may happen next month, Mr F needs a job and the campervan needs to go and a sensible, reliable and cost effective  car bought in its place. 

The magic equity wand will run out at some point! 

helensbiggestfan

Foxy......please please please do not sell your house again.  I am seriously concerned that you and Mini Fox will be left with nothing but a pile of debt.  

slm6002

Have you had a second opinion on the roof?  Maybe only a partial roof repair is needed?  How much are they estimating it would cost?

Open up a high interest account next pay day and even if you start off putting in a £1 a month, I am sure as time goes on you will start to increase this.  Any survey money you and OH can earn can go into it.  In 5 years time when it is needed you may not have all the money you need, but at least you will have some.

Have you spoken to step change and discussed your budget again.  They can probably see that you are struggling due to the non payment a few months in a row.  Maybe they could reduce the amount you pay, or you could add some of the new debts in to make it more manageable.  Don't worry about the end date as this will reduce as things change over the years.  What you do need is a manageable amount to pay over and then only have the friends debts as extra.  Your debt companies will just be happy you are paying something back rather than nothing.  If the step change can reduce and you can get the budget working, things wont look quite so bleak each day.

MFWannabe

You absolutely need to claim Universal Credit ; it is a necessity for you; that’s where the extra £300 per month needs to come from; not selling your house again! 

That’s what benefits are there for! To help people like yourself x 

lellybun

Ooooh Fox!  Look at all these lovely people who care so much about you and your life.  I think you have struck a cord with so many of us.  We are cheering you on, you work so hard and we worry about all the juggling you have to do when you should be able to have a good life with no mortgage to worry about. 

Please take notice of all the advice offered, I can see how much easier life could be for you if you were to claim money you are entitled to.  

Sending hugs your way x

MFWannabe

So many people posting who care about you and have deep concerns for you speaks volumes 🤗

Kim_13

A £700 annual saving on Council Tax suggests a drop from band D to A; D is supposed to be an average home, something it isn’t unreasonable for you and Mini Fox to have. You’d be selling your only significant and protected asset because of a system that there is growing pressure on central government to change.

Agree with getting a second opinion on the roof. Start a pot for any works as soon as you can, but selling up over it is madness. By downsizing again, it’s the next thing to converting unsecured debt to secured - and that doesn’t end well.

foxandflowers

Cons: 

• Less equity
• I've messed up on doing this before and haven't cleared anywhere near what I set out to do
• Short term fixes don't change long term patterns
• Smaller house - less storage space
• Solicitors fees, Estate agents fees, searches & moving costs
• Noisier area as closer to train tracks
• Would lose south facing garden

Pros:

• Radical yet ultimate reset - would clear all debts 
• Bills would be more manageable and by extent the budget would balance
• Would gain back 40 minutes on travelling to work and back each day.
• Could manage property comfortably by myself
• As car and van are still up for sale, could afford searches etc on new property, rather than buying blind
• No major works need doing - house is in much better condition than current property, including lower maintenance garden (SE facing rear, SW facing front)
• House would be traditional layout - upstairs would be upstairs.
• House is still 3 bed - once stepkids are grown, guest room. but in the mean time, paying less CT as it is an ex-LA home.

Lots to continue to think about. 

In other news, our microwave caught on fire yesterday while it was empty. I only got it in November, so am not thrilled. Have arranged a full refund from Amazon, but have also contacted Russell Hobbs for a replacement.

& Mr Fox asked me yesterday how I would feel about 'going the other way' and becoming frugal instead of spendy. Seeking bargains, coupons, cashback etc. Only buying second hand, waiting to purchase things. Honestly getting more and more suspect that he's reading this. 

enthusiasticsaver

I like Mr Foxes comment. Task him with finding coupons and making a rule to buy second hand or not buy at all will help your situation. Do you have the valuation today?