NST NIFTY NOVEMBER

ditty1234

Morning lovely people just want to share my gratitude for lots of lovely messages and flowers yesterday on my birthday and boys cooked me  a lovely dinner. Today were off on a family jolly to see an exhibition and for a meal out tonight. So that will be me celebrated for the for the year (lots of years). 

ldee2111

@BadBookkeeper I am taking the same tactic as you - buying some Christmas eats each week in my groceries. 

I used £20 of my SB Tezco vouchers to buy a birthday gift for DS's classmate (party next month) and some food. The other £10 voucher has come in to my email this morning. 

The young woman who contacted me about buying DS's bike was no-show again (bloomin' nuisance)! But the next day someone contacted me and collected the bike within a few hours. Hooray! And another hooray that LNER have refunded us for delayed train journey back from London a few months ago. 

It's MIL's birthday today so we're going to meet up with her and FIL for a game of adventure golf and some lunch. 

Have a good day, turtles. xx

BadBookkeeper

Hope you had a happy birthday @ditty1234

lcc86

Morning turtles! I have been AWOL for the first few days as OH and I went on a city break. Did loads of walking, eating, and generally had a great time. Got home relatively late last night so had a bit of a lie in, and now have some washing on. Going to be a lot of washing machine use today!

Did spend a bit more than planned as we both underestimated the weather... when I checked the forecast before we left it said 14 degrees and sun/cloud. When we got there it was blowing a gale and raining on and off! The first night the rain was so bad it woke us both up. We ended up having to buy coats... we went to TK Maxx and got some good bargains, I agreed to pay for OH's as a birthday present. The coats are good quality so even though I didn't plan on buying one, it'll last. And most importantly, we were both so warm and dry in the rain!! Note to self - bring a proper coat next time regardless of the forecast!

I've also been a naughty turtle and taken advantage of some Black Friday deals online for things I've wanted/needed for a while (I made sure I checked prices elsewhere before committing). A new TV being one of them, I think I bought ours in either 2010 or 2011, the sound is going and the screen has white dots appearing. I think we can safely say I've got my money's worth out of it over the last decade! I've done a BNPL on the lot, but will transfer half the money out of my savings and then pay the rest off over the next couple of months.

Today the weather is looking grim. I have boxing class at 12.45, then work at my part-time job from 4pm to 9pm. It's a firework show but with lasers so it's suitable for those with sensory issues. Should be interesting to see as I've never been to anything like that, but not looking forward to standing out in the rain. Its also slap bang in the middle of dinner time! On the plus side, my new coat will come in very handy.

grandmanerd

Saturday 5th November 2022
Think Ahead
Thinking ahead saves time, effort and money. We live in the present, but goals, meal-planning, saving/ paying off our debt are all ways in which we plan and shape our future, moulding it to be how we want. If you're prone to anxiety (worrying about the future, probably thinking of all the disasters that might happen) or depression (still chained to the past, rehashing wrongs and repeating other people's versions of you) planning and thinking ahead can help keep you calm, focused and in control. Overwhelmed by all the things you 'have to do', surrounded by frogs and aware of the herd of elephants in the room - take a deep breath, tackle things one at a time and remind yourself that there are limits to what you 'can' do.

(I often say I live with long-term depression. Some of this is rooted in the past, all the way back to my childhood and I deal with it in a variety of ways. There are parts of my childhood I choose not to think about - I can't do anything for that little girl, so for the most part I keep bits of the past 'walled up'. My own reading and a succession of counsellors mean I understand but do not accept the labels that were put on me, the roles and responsibilities that were heaped on me far too early and the 'mistakes' that were made. I'm an empath, I can put myself into other people's shoes and understand some of the things that led to my parents and others behaving as they did. Mostly I choose to find the humour in any situation and I'm getting much better at letting go - part of the grieving process for mum has been getting to the point where I can 'let go' of the difficult bits and free myself to remember only the good bits). I live with my depression, I am not my depression, it's an illness but it doesn't define me.  

I'm finding ClutterClarity's techniques very useful in dealing with the mess (in my house and my life). She advocates the need to go slowly and to deal with the emotions attached to stuff before tackling the actual mess. Obviously you deal with everyday stuff - taking out the rubbish and making all the easy decisions on your stuff but if you find a decision hard, just sit with it for a while.

When you're Overwhelmed
ClutterClarity has a 3 step process for downsizing - decluttering, organising, moving. Her videos are mainly aimed at people from mid life onwards, examining all the things you own and discarding anything that does not belong in your life any more and tackling your stuff (your children don't want your stuff, get over it) whilst you are still physically capable of it. Otherwise you will need help (your children don't want to think about you dying so they'll react badly - taking over, making decisions impatiently, or going into hiding) or having the decision taken away from you (if you're hospitalised or have long-term health issues that mean you cannot return to your home).

Strategies for 'too much to do' include prioritising (get the important stuff done or pick a task that will fit alongside all your other commitments)
Some things have an order (like painting a room). You can't bake if you haven't bought the ingredients. You can look at what you have and see if there are things they will make. You can bake complimentary things - when the boys were young we would make peppermint creams for an easy gift, using the small Christmas tree cutter. The peppermint creams needed egg whites, so I had a biscuit recipe that used all the egg yolks. If you're baking for a Christmas Fair or as a gift for someone you'll be seeing on a December weekend, that has a deadline.

Planning ahead - biscuit dough can be mixed and frozen, basic sponges can be made and frozen, then just taken out to decorate. I always used a roasting tin for ginger cake (we liked it, a lot) but I've used this for other cakes when bulk baking. Fruit cakes can be made months in advance, put in a tin or wrapped in foil to keep on top of the wardrobe (my mother was a confectioner and I've been helping make wedding cakes since I was 3 yo). The magazines (multi-task by reading the ones in the dentist or doctor's waiting room - it won't matter if they're 5 or 10 years old) all have Christmas countdowns but use them selectively - don't add to your 'overwhelmed' list by adding bread sauce if you've never had it on the table before or attempting a complicated way of sprucing your sprouts.

You have 5 Resources (the equivalent of limiting factors in business)
Space, Time, Skills, Energy, Money
At any one time, one or two of these will be in shorter supply than others, so plan accordingly

Space - in the early years I only had a small 3 burner stove. 'Big meals' needed planning, I had steamers so I could cook extra veg (steaming above the pudding). I still plan 'big meals' starting with things that need longest time and then working when other items should be set off so that everything is ready to go on the table together. I write down when a joint goes in the oven, what time it needs to be turned, basted or uncovered. this is especially useful if I'm doing lots of things in the oven. I also use a microwave a lot more often. It wouldn't occur to me to do it any other way because it keeps me calm and has even worked when I had to turn everything off and leave the house mid way through to deal with an emergency. I just took 5 minutes to recalculate when I got back. There are lots of places to put extra food, to keep it in good condition (more info if needed). I don't fight for the Christmas slots - most fresh stuff is fine bought the week before, in the shed/ garage/ unheated porch/ plastic box in the yard (cat proofed) it will last throughout the holiday season and beyond. More examples if required. I am aware that I'm doing the November thread not December but getting things sorted in your head or ideally have most things 'done' by the end of November leaves a lot more time for making memories instead of ending up frazzled, frustrated and feeling totally unappreciated.

Time - everyone's time poor. it's definitely a limited resource. so it's important to know which things are important to you.  Employers, loved ones and relatives (that's 2 categories), schools, voluntary organisations and charities will all make demands. You need to be realistic about the number of demands and the degree to which you accede to them - some will take and take until you collapse.

Skills - it's always worth trying to fix a repair or breakdown (with helpful videos) but if you have the money, don't be ashamed of calling in a professional (or ask a more experienced friend for help). If you can't fix it and don't have the cash, it's the old regular emptying of the bucket, taping it up as best you can, using items you have to prop things up, until you do have the money. It's good to learn new things but be realistic - if you're taking your first steps in crochet, you won't be giving everyone granny square blankets for Christmas (not this one anyway). You can probably decorate your first Christmas cake, produce a wreath or a table decoration or make hm gifts with the children, even if you've never done it before but remember something simple done well is better than an over complicated mess. It's best to give hm items to those who appreciate them. At my ex's funeral, mum's cousin was telling me about redecorating her bedroom and going through the contents of her fitted wardrobes. She had a whole box of things my sons had made for her over the years, including a valentine's card from DS1 (he's 38 now). A last point - don't let your initial enthusiasm result in spending spree - tools, all the pretty colours (fabric, yarn, pens), gadgets.

Energy - especially important for older turtles and those living with long-term health issues but mothers and anyone with many demands (see above categories) will struggle. You will probably lose a week or two to winter bugs (multiple children succumbing successively can extend this). Don't fight it (and don't load yourself with caffeine and meds and stagger into work), rest as much as you need but there may be gentle activities you can do - go through the toybox with your children selecting things to donate, bring a messy drawer onto the bed or couch and put it in order (set aside any items that can be repurposed to 'make things' - I once went all round the house taking all the ribbons off the teddies to use on DS2's wreath for a school). I actually enjoy housework (dull boring, mindless tasks) when I'm recovering but not well enough to anything that needs concentration and I would do all the mending tasks (dull boring sewing that required very little thought) collapsed on the couch.

Money - as turtles our priority is paying off debt or saving for what we want. But if you've set aside money for presents and have a budget, enjoy spending that money. Scrimping and scraping, getting the most out of your money, putting every penny to work can be fun but finding exactly what you want for a child or loved one (even if that's second hand, from a cs, using vouchers and discounts) has a special joy, don't miss it or feel guilty.

When prioritising isn't enough, employ the 5 'D's (ClutterClarity) Do, Drop, Defer, Delegate or Diminish

Do    Get it done, if it's a 2 minute job, do it now (or when you notice it). If it's frog (important task you're avoiding) getting it done will be so rewarding. If it's an elephant (huge project) work out the first step you need to take. If you're bewildered by the number and variety of tasks facing you, start with what's in front of you.

Drop   Some items will have been on your list forever - do you really want to do them? Are they really important? Weed out anything that your heart isn't in or that are leftovers from a former you.

Defer   You are still going to do it, but if there's too much on this week, move some to next week, next month, tuck it in where it can be an add on to another task. This can be applied to pleasurable things. I probably need a break, to go away somewhere away from all the mess and just relax but now that the bungalow sale is proceeding (I delivered huge mounds of paperwork to the solicitor, the ball's in their court, hopefully the next contact will be to sign the exchange of contracts) I don't want to be away when the solicitor needs me to sign something (even if it's only a couple of days delay). However I have just received one of next year's brochures and I may pre-book some breaks for next year (they offer discounts for booking now, higher discounts for several bookings). Some sell out quickly (one destination was already full twice when I've asked about it0. The last time I went away was Twixmas 2019 with mum (which wasn't particularly restful - the break was great but using and freezing Christmas leftovers and then plunging into New Year's prep as soon as I got back was stressful). There are several places on my wish list and some places I'd like to revisit and if my health deteriorates further (I'm working on that not happening) the coach tour breaks might no longer be an option. So if the bungalow sale proceeds or if I have a spare chunk of cash over once I've done the repairs even if the sale hasn't completed, I'm going to book some breaks. It's something important to me, something fun and I don't want all the money to go on 'necessary' stuff.

Delegate   A tough one (walking the tightrope of not using sexist stereotypes here). Some of us do all the organising and then resent it. Delegate what you can and then do not criticise if it's not done how you would have done it. Don't criticise silently by redoing it. If it's done it's done and that's good enough - criticism risks losing the cooperation and willingness to help next time. Most of us have to learn to eg fold laundry properly by doing that task repeatedly, if someone's tried their best, thank them. Some other people do not 'see' tasks that need doing or have different ideas on what is an acceptable level of 'tidy'. On occasions when I have achieved 'perfection' in my house, I've become 'uncomfortable' after a couple of days, I need my pile of books and my latest craft project by my side, a comfy blanket, a drink, a bag of essentials (glasses, purse, other glasses, handkerchief or tissues, diary, current notebook) - I'm not good enough for a perfect house, I need a bit of a nest. Ask someone to do a specific task or tasks (some people are confused by multiples).

Diminish   If you can't do the whole of a task, can you do part of it? One year I decorated the front room using my solid sewing machine cabinet to stand on. The front room was very full and there wasn't room for things elsewhere so I moved the cabinet around the room doing one strip of wallpaper at a time, shuffling one or two items of furniture a little bit further forward. I'd taken the curtains down and washed them, then put them back after the paper and painting had been done. I was using the cabinet and a tall set of steps - climbed up the steps, stood on the cabinet and draping the bulk of the curtains over the steps whilst I did the fiddly bits with hooks and ends of poles. Then I decided to clean and decorate the window whilst I was there. Not the rest of the room, but I completed that patch whilst I was there (and no need to get the ladders out again).  Doing part of a task is moving things on. You might only be able to work on a craft project when the children are in bed or at school. use the bits of time you have, don't delay until you can do everything. 

One bit of a room that is sorted or looks good can give you hope and help further efforts.

Challenges are gifts that force us to search for another centre of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a new way to stand 
Oprah

BadBookkeeper

Lots to think about @grandmanerd thank you 

Had a pottering kind of day.  Spent 1/2 hr having a quick tidy up and it looked so much better for it. 

Finally ordered our bedroom carpets.  This is a big step towards our bedroom having a much needed makeover.  Bought a duvet cover for ds.  

All pots updated with spends today.  I bought a t£sco meal deal - cheaper than a takeaway and nicer.  That means I’ve spent my £15 so no more spends until 10th!  

Trying to think of things to do the few days after Christmas & New Year.  We are all off work/school.  Last year we did a treasure trail around Chester which was brilliant so will get a different one to do this year (I bought it as a stocking filler for ds but we all benefitted).  DS will be 11 so not sure how to spend New Years Eve.  What does everyone else do?  

Food today okish but will be having a few wines later. 

Not venturing out tonight.  DS has a few sparklers to go in the garden but watched fireworks last night. 

Some of the basics we needed this year is drinking glasses.  Bought 8 today that match so 8 odd ones we had will go in the recycling.  Whenever I buy something new, something old has to go! 

Talking to different friends made me realise no-one has the perfect Christmas every year!  Families can be difficult and feelings hurt!  We’re keeping ours simple this year might even do a long walk late Christmas morning. 

Not an NSD so still 3/15

Grateful for local shops, footy card swaps, a good catch up day. 

apple_muncher

Happy birthday ditty! 🎉🎉

Grandmanerd, no worries about doing all the December stuff in November. Less for me to do next month, eh?!!!

Today I am grateful for a fair table top sale at school, for getting a bargainaceous bundle of syl fam for dc so they can choose what they want and I'll sell on the rest, for dc's new specs looking superb, for getting out and about despite the weather, for winning the rugby (well, the semi-final!).

Dfw38

Went out for my 3rd run this morning but stopped after 25 mins as started to get tummy ache. Walked the rest of the way back as day was breaking, wonderful colours in the sky. We had homework to do with the dc and visited the library as they had block builders on (l€go). The dc enjoyed that and picking out some new books to read too. The library is one of their favourite places, it was packed today with children enjoying the activity. A nsd so up to 2 now 😆 so far this month 👍. 
Grateful for free entertainment for dc, our local library are really good for the things that they make available and I think they will prove to be I valuable for people over the winter. A more relaxed day with dc and the wonderful colours in the sky this morning. Isn't nature wonderful?

Thrifty_Taylor

Happy birthday @ditty1234.

@BadBookkeeper, for new years eve, we often have a family games night or watch a film. Can have various snacks on the go, turn off the lights for the film if you like. My DS's are now 14, 18 & 20, & still enjoy doing this.

NSD#3
Yoga & sit ups ✔️
Put my breakfast in a takeaway tub & ate it while DH saw the specialist. She was very happy with his progress. Took a detour on the way home to drop off a birthday present & a couple of items if made for them to give a new baby.

The front boundary of our garden has a big wall built along half of it (the rest not yet built), with a trough for plants along the top of it. Spent 2 hours standing on a section of chimney liner to weed it all, then planted 61 alpine strawberry plants along the road side of the trough, for the birds. DH doesn't like them as much as regular strawberries, so thought we'd do this instead of wasting them, then plant nasturtiums on the garden side of the trough. My feet & fingers were freezing by the time I'd finished!

Had a late dinner, then sewed up some knitted toys for a customer of my mum's. After tea, I collected mum & DS1, & we went to see the bonfire & fireworks. Came home & priced items for a pop up shop. My friend said I could have a shelf for some of my chickens & bears. 🤞 I sell some!

Grateful for dunking biscuits in my hot ribena (DH was disgusted 🤣 I haven't done it for years!), Fireworks fun, the warmth inside after my feet were so cold

Calling14

Happy Belated birthday Ditty1234 x
 
Yesterday I started Xmas shopping. Grandkids main presents bought and Xmas cards.  As this is out of this years survey money xmas stash from one company not counted as spends.

Xmas fund £136/£300
NSD 2/15

Need to food shop today and try to replace freezer contents after having left door slightly open week ago.

Grateful for
Daughter spending on crazy golf and coffee/cake treat.
Free eating apples from neighbours
My migraine gone today. 
My football teams late win yesterday. Still smiling - its the little things