NST NIFTY NOVEMBER

grandmanerd

Just back from the All Souls Service. I was apprehensive about it all day and then DS3 started saying I didn't need to go. Well I'm glad I went and I'm glad it's over with. Sore throat is ramping up so I'm going to have ice cream and cold drinks and will spend the next 3 days resting as much as possible. When I woke up this morning I knew I would have to save my strength for the service and I had taxis there and back. 

There are lots of things I can sort out whilst resting and I want to be well enough for Sunday - going to the big garden centre with DS2, lovely daughter-out-law and my precious bundle of joy. Need to wrap things up as I go along and try to finish something crafty. Will order DS2's present later and see what delivery slots are available for a food delivery. Earlier today I finished taping fairy lights to the pantry shelves.

Grateful for clutter clearing videos (more ideas), finding things in drawers that mean I can postpone some purchases a little while longer, having my bag of coins ready for putting in collecting boxes. I saw a house with Christmas lights on - am I allowed to go round and shoot them (the homeowners not the lights).

f0xh0les

N   NO GUILT - I am no longer a SAHM, I  have sacked off the school run while I am working. They are taking the bus, or pocketing the cash and taking their bikes.  I will not feel guilty about this.
I     IDEAL world, (no such thing).
      a) What you would like - not to be responsible for everything and everyone's happiness. This is not my role.
      b) What you NEED - to remove myself from the home so they are forced to rely on their own judgement.
      c) What is possible - everything is possible! I am now earning, everyone is healthy and capable. New exciting times!
      d) Work out the steps to achieving your ideal - I have 2 jobs. The mortgage is paid off. Going to work ridiculous  long hours and stockpile cash until end of January when I am going to re-evaluate the whole situation.

F    FIRST add - I am still chasing people for money owed to step-gran's estate. 7 months on.  I am very nearly done though, thank goodness. It is draining, and irritating, and totally ridiculous. Today another one was vanquished, so progress is being made. Funds shunted  live on what is left.

Budgets  £100 a week + kids bus passes. No birthdays! No school trips! Wading Bird Shop is next door to my workplace! I have one free drink on my C0stab0mb loyalty card, if things get that bad. Working in London for 2 days on expenses.

15 NSDs

THINK AHEAD/Stock check - Pantry is a goldmine! Hot choc and marshmallows in reserve, ready to be deployed in cases of emergency. I am keeping away from THE C WORD until December as I have ZERO willpower.  Buy early = Buy Twice.

Y    YOUR HEALTH is important - going to the dentist, and going to see the doctor with The Duck (quack quack - if you know, you know).  Working is fab as I am a long way away from my fridge, and I have cup soups, I hit my step count every working day.
N    NOW  accidents - I am rubbish at this as I only wear matt black.  We are getting the smallest kids new coats this week so will try and get ones with some kind of reflective strip on them, the bikes have lights, and I will find waterproof reflective elastic covers for their backpacks. 
O   OTHERS.  I donate via dd, I am taking a step back from volunteering in November as I just can't do it any more. I am disillusioned and the attitude of the paid  volunteer co-ordinators is irritating me.  They are not entitled to my time, I do not have to do this. I know it is how charities work, but I will not feel guilt this month.
V    VISION Neither me nor DH come from families that do the C word thing in a big way, we will have 3 teens and a 20 year old this year.  DS1 and 2 will not get out of bed until much later, DH  would actually rather stay in bed as well, nobody wants to go out or do anything. To be honest they bore me. I might just remove myself from the equation and go on a long walk, and let them ring me when they get up and want something.
E    EVALUATE any home made presents. Working at The MaXX I might not make anything this year.
M    MAKE  A LIST The 'notes' bit of my phone is brilliant for this, or just emailing myself a message.
B    BASICS Stamps are free (lots of turtles know how) It is only 2 days, I am not going to go mad about this. I am working in the city centre, where the shops are. I have asked the boys what are non-negotiables -  they requested a certain brand of non-animal gammon roast , and a not-beef wellington. Stuffing, roast spuds, yorkies,  brussels with not-lardons, peas, corn, carrots and gravy. That covers X-Day and St Stephen's Day, (the patron saint of cardboard).  Veg will come from Herr Al's at 29p- ish, plenty of spuds will end up in a brown sack for the rest of the month. I will have mice pies  and a  plum pudding, and we will bake and build a gingerbread house to ransack. 
E    EVERY DAY give us 3 things you are grateful for
Feeling calm, finally sorting the ground rents, making progress. Ridding the pantry of some packets which have been lurking for a while.
R    Read Rest Relax Recharge   Not read a book in over a week - how bad is that? Feast or Famine over here, it is either one book a day, or nothing.   Spent a lot of time on the sofa, but doing things online and updating calendars, which means I can now relax as I know exactly what I am doing and when, candles lit and the room smells lovely, nice and warm.

Esmeralda2662

Bit disappointed as thought I had over £30 left in my Oct budget but then realised I had forgotten petrol I bought so only £7 underspend. Grrr.

Had meeting for annual review on private pension pot. Drove cross country to avoid new interchnge and got within about a mile before getting royally lost. Went in ever drecreading circles until i got there by which time i was 8 minutes late and as red as a beetroot. I still have 7 years till state pension. All the unrest is causing investments to drop but they're hopeful that things will pick up. Just got to plod on.

Had to take the time off from work unpaid as I have no holiday left.

Out for pub meal with mum tonight. Very tasty! Got a copy of their Christmas dinner menu for 9 of us so that we can choose what we want and book a table.

Tired tonight so gratitudes: eventually finding my way to the pension place, them explaining things so well, nice pub meal, getting back to work mid morning.

Thrifty_Taylor

Yoga & sit ups completed ✔️

Hung the washing on the line, knew I had half an hour before we had to leave for DH's blood tests at the hospital, so I quickly filled the car boot of stuff to take to the dump. Put my breakfast in a takeaway tub & ate it in the car whilst he had his appointment, & caught up on reading lots of emails from another MSE forum.

Dropped sewing off at a friend's house, then did a circular walk past the beach. VERY windy, but it stayed dry. Got a few bits from L1dl, emptied the car boot & stocked up on birdseed. Slept for an hour after dinner, the wind had made my eyes tired, did the ironing when I got up.

Applied for a new bank account for DS3 & looked up my pension forecast, as per Martin's programme last week. Pleased to read I only need to work another 2 years to qualify for the full amount, though can't claim it until 2042, so will likely be working for many years yet, unless I can save lots beforehand! Washed the dishes & wound more embroidery threads on to cards (DH did 2).

Grateful for finding my missing glove which had been dropped in the car before our walk, that the toilets by the beach weren't locked, the arrival of my new sewing machine

apple_muncher

Hugs DrCarrie. Take care x

Shrewbie

Hello turtles, I hope you are all well. I am late to the party but I’d love to join please!! Here are some pics from Mallorca! Off to catch up with your posts xxx 

grandmanerd

Thursday 3rd November 2022
Ideal World, Ideal Celebration
My life so  far
When I was young (buying this house in my early twenties) I planned to live alone. I'd decided I wanted to live alone (I was against the idea of marriage from my early teens but can no longer remember whether this was a conscious decision - I remember reading feminist books but never thinking I'd meet one in real life - or a reaction to my parents oft repeated listing of all the reasons no one would ever marry me (a refrain that was eagerly taken up by my brothers and which chimed with the taunts of the bullies at school). My parents example of married life was definitely not something to be admired or emulated.

I imagined a life of reading , sewing and crafting and gardening which would be done wearing large sunhats and gloves (I'd inherited a selection from my grandma including some chamois leather ones and some cream crocheted ones) and take lovers when I felt the need. The smaller bedroom would be my study, sewing and crafting room. When I first lived here it was my bedroom as I mainly lived upstairs, using the large bedroom as my living room.

Well as you all know real life scoffs at plans and dreams and sometimes we're so busy running away from our parents mistakes that we run slap bang into them from the other side. My life took another turn which became a long and winding diversion, although I clung by my fingertips to the reading, sewing and crafting and practised stealth gardening. I never imagined that when the 'eccentric old lady' dreams of my youth would only come to fruition when I was an 'eccentric old lady' (maybe an old bag - I hate being called a 'lady').

My commitment to my sons has been absolute since I first knew about them. I've always said my sons didn't stop me doing anything, but other people's attitudes to my sons did (all the assumptions they make about 'the person pushing the pram', all the boxes they try to put you in). But I have been to some dark places and am still living my childhood role of 'the sensible one' (mother's little helpmeet, her counsellor and 'co-parent' to my brothers).

My  Celebration
One of the ways I cope with my depression is by taking all the scraps of joy in daily life and weaving a quilt of comfort around my loved ones, the Native American 'living in the spirit of the season'. I love the patterns in nature, the autumnal retreat into a period of hibernation and the tiny signs of new life in Spring.  I love rainbows, splashing in puddles, rustling through leaves (although I'm dreading dealing with the wet slippy leaf litter that's doubled or tripled in the last couple of days). I have a need to be 'amongst the trees', shoving seeds into the earth with my bare hands and watching the magic unfold and just sitting quietly in my own back yard with my little robin companion. 

I've had all sorts of Christmases (I'm using Christmas as shorthand - I'm firmly behind the quote from Tuesday, many of the 'Christian' elements of our celebrations were simply bolted on to pre-existing celebrations - Yule, Wiccan, Druid, Roman Saturnalia, Norse). With my children, other people's children (mainly friends of my sons with sick parents), sick, demanding or downright ungrateful children, being sick myself (studying for a degree and collapsing from the moment term ended, very pregnant and pausing in the middle of preparing lunch to go and throw up), Christmas crises, scrimping and scraping Christmases (lots of planning), exceedingly busy Christmases (Church/ School/ charity or voluntary group fundraising, crafting multiple gifts with the boys for all the people who helped us during the year, church services, church warden duties, school events - plays/ end of term disco/ wreath making competition/the absolutely dire 'thank you' for being a nursery group helper which consisted of a mince pie and a glass of indifferent wine or orange juice, sitting on a circle of hard chairs in the staff room). 

I'm cynical about Christmas (a cynical romantic in many areas of life). I hate the materialism (but like the ancient Roman complaints about graffiti and the disgraceful behaviour of modern youth it's nothing new). I'm cynical about the 'Dickensian/ Victorian' "White Christmas" (actually the fallout from a new volcano and like a lot of Victorian ideals it only applied to the middle and upper classes - Barnardo's was founded to help the children who lived alone on the streets and rooftops of London and the Age of Consent was enacted, originally introduced at 13 yo, to curb the instincts of the paterfamilias behaviour when they weren't ruling over their families. Once in Royal David's City is possibly my least favourite hymn - Christian children all should be, mild, obedient, good as he, pah, bah humbug. Maybe the ones who died before their 1st birthday (50%), or before their fifth (50% of the ones who made it past 1 yo). 

But I love the 'magic'. I love when the reindeer (real live reindeer) visit, although the whole 'Santa's Parade is rather ludicrous, a flotilla of mobility scooters accompanying the installation of the Mall 'Santa' (we aren't American, it's Father Christmas and the correct vegetable for Halloween carving is a turnip or swede depending on what part of Ireland or the Uk you live in, the practitioners of religious intolerance just found the pumpkin a lot easier to carve, lazy so and sos).

A New Era
Now I'm a grandma. This Sunday I'll be going to a local (though just the other side of the Lancs so it's in posh Cheshire) Garden Centre with DS2, darling daughter-out-law and beloved baby granddaughter to look at the Christmas displays (think there are 8 themes), have a meal together (my turn to pay) and whatever other bits take our fancy (there's a woodland walk, a jurassic park playground, a food hall, outdoor gardening section, pet section (and a doggy cafe, love those) and some retail outlets . Darling d-o-l has already been told she can't have all the elephants (one is over a £1000) but I noticed they have a steam cleaner with a comparatively modest price tag which I might buy (mainly to give the mattresses a good going over - I'm doing things now in case I don't get the chance later).

I'm hoping this will become a new tradition for us. I was going to offer to do an advent calendar or presents for the stocking but I'm struggling to finish a couple of craft projects, so I'm taking a step back in line with my current ability (didn't say I would make a stocking, a birth sampler etc, not promising stuff I can't deliver). I bought a tiny fox decoration (I always bought the boys something quirky to add to our tree), I thought someone else might buy a 'baby's first Christmas' bauble. I'm hoping (expecting unless I succumb to the bugs again) to see them again before they head off to N Ireland for a huge family Christmas but I ordered DS2's present in the early hours of this morning and I'll wrap the things I've already bought. I can post the crafty bits if they get finished.

DS1 also messaged me about 9 pm (DS3 had to come upstairs to tell me as I didn't have the bookface window open) and I have been invited to spend Christmas with them (3rd time lucky). DS3 had already declined and DS2 and family are off to N Ireland so it will be just us 3 and my grandpuppy (or possibly the girl who was bridesmaid at their wedding and her partner) so 5 adults and my grandpuppy. I've asked to stay for a few days - it's less stressful if I can make my own way there and back using normal buses rather than expensive taxis or juggling with holiday timetables. I've said they don't have to 'entertain' me all the time, I can curl up in a corner and read (with my grandpuppy), sit in the park (whilst grandpuppy and DS1 do their morning run) or play on my laptop. Ds1 asked about my dietary requirements - he'll order in salad stuff and I'll just have lots of veg on my plate and less of the meat, roasties and gravy (DS1 does lovely dinners).

He sounded altogether more cheerful. He had a bit of a melt down after my ex died when we didn't let him do all the arrangements (he changed things he'd already agreed with DS2, at one point we thought about staging 'an intervention' but he thought it was a trap and he stopped speaking to any of us for a while).

I think he's enjoying his new job (a lot more variety than his old one though the money is less) and he's paid DS3 back the money he borrowed (I was worried about that, I'd asked DS3 to consider it and he'd gone and done it before I had a chance to discuss it and put in safeguards) so hopefully his finances are in better order (he's not fully recovered from his 2 Brexit redundancies and the idiots in charge decided to arbitrarily downsize the Civil Service just when he had been told he was to be made permanent after years of working in the Civil Service as an outsourced agency worker). 

So that's the best present of all. All three of my boys settled in happy relationships and thriving in their chosen career paths. DS3's is not so much chosen but no other options but he's enjoying a recession bonus - he's mostly paid in dollars and as the £ plummets his dollars are worth more and more.

 

firsview

Afternoon Turtles. Better late than never!
All bills paid, savings shunted into premium bonds (I know there is no interest but it saves temptation) and have started collecting stuff for the C word. I used to like it when the children were small but now I just view it as lots of extra work for me when frankly running a house with 6 people (5 of them lazy) and working takes up all my time.
Charity donation made (local cat rescue) and food bank donation made.
Will catch up properly later!

f0xh0les

Today will be NSD2. Only left the house to post a letter, tidied the living room again, moved a cube unit into the pantry and played 'set up' in there, with my sticky labels and glass jars, everything is lined up in rows like soldiers on parade.  All neat and tidy and lovely.

Lunch was dull cheese pasties that were rejected by the boys as lunchbox fodder, but were fine with baked beans, and now they are gone. Supper might be pizza, or garlic broccoli, either or.   I am packing away the crystal glasses and putting them on the top shelf in the pantry.  Then it is out of the way, and safe. I keep having to stop whenever anyone wants the kitchen table though.  It is driving me nuts.  I want to get this done today, and finished.  I am working (still feels odd saying it) 7 hours tomorrow afternoon/evening so just need to crack on and do it.  It is boring though.   I don't want to! Wah wah wah!

DS2 (the toad) has said I can use his bus pass on the weekends / evenings I am working, so at least it will earn its keep, and means no car park charges on Saturday and Monday.    Sunday is free parking.  Glad I thought of it.

Dfw38

Hi folks, my 2 youngest dc (4 and 20 month) have a sickness bug. Spent the past 24 hours like this 😪.  I am having to catch up on the washing - thankfully we have had a 2 hr respite. 
Yesterday I went Christmas present shopping Yay! Apart from 3 things (frame for a print of the moonwalk landing for dh and a couple of bits for me... yes I have to choose my own presents when I would really rather have one thing picked out as a surprise 🙄) I have everything. Also barring the fresh fruit and veg (and the snacks that will be eaten by anyone who finds them beforehand...) I have all the food. Started wrapping last night, will hopefully finish tonight and then just cards to write. I can go into December just enjoying the fun bits, nativity etc without having to hit the shops. I loathe queuing so save up throughout the year so that it present buying can be completed in plenty of time. Racked up over 16000 steps walking to high Street, around town, shops and supermarket. 
Gratitudes for yesterday: quiet shops, getting everything I needed and wanted, a new film on Netflix "the good nurse" halfway through it and hoping to finish it tonight.
Today was a completely different day: woke up at 4 to cries of "i've been sick" changed bed, washed child and sat up until she fell asleep at 4.50. Went for a shorter run in the rain at 5 (was too exhausted to do my original planned route). More sickness (ds was sick last night and again at 10am) got everyone else up, both dc alternating who was ill next.  A dicey drive to school to take eldest dd and we got back and they were both poorly for the bulk of the day. Messaged  a school mum friend to ask if she could bring my eldest back and she said yes. Thank goodness, roll on bedtime. I am hoping to be in bed by 9 myself.
Today's gratitudes: school mum friend, I don't know what I would have done without her. Modern technology that gave us washing machines and tumble dryers and being super strict over the energy use since April so we have built up £500 of credit so I don't have to hesitate to use the tumble dryer. Also an extra: our log burner, didn't want it when we had it installed 4 years ago. But boy did I need it today, was absolutely freezing (worried I might be going down with the same bug, watch this space). Hope you are all having a better day than me 😚