Money Moral Dilemma: Is it fair for my parents to penalise me for not having children? 25 October 2022 at 6:09PM edited 25 October 2022 at 6:11PM in Deaths, funerals & probate 176 replies 93.4K views

sammyjammy

Life is not fair, suck it up!  It is their money and they can do what they want with it.  

Pmatt

Perhaps your parents could either provide a specific amount of payment to all grandchildren and include similar relationships. They could then provide an equal share of the remainder between their own children and allow their direct dependants to decide how to disperse their remaining inheritance. This is always a potential issue where there is multiple issue on one side of the family and fewer on another side.

bikaga

If your nephews/nieces are likely to be grown-ups when your parents pass then it makes total sense for them to get something straight away and not have to wait for your brother to die to pay off student loans or put down a deposit for a house. Times are hard, it's nice of your parents to want to help the young generation with a good start in life.

If, however, you were really struggling financially and your brother wasn't, then it would make sense to support you a bit more relatively speaking. Hard to tell without knowing a bit more.

And we don't even know if we're talking about say £5k each or a number of properties and lots of cash!

But either way, calling it a punishment sounds like there's some background we don't know. Assuming there's a lot to be passed around - what would you do with it anyway? Burn it so your brother's kids don't get it?

TheCraigClan

Maybe the fact that the question is being asked by the OP in the first place is the reason the inheritance is being split four ways... Ha.

Judes123

Our wills are to share our money between our children 2 marriages each). In the event of our children pre- deceasing us.. their share goes to their children

400ixl

People jumping to conclusions that the will itself will not be written as an equal share between any children and grandchildren who survive the parents / grandparents. 

Personally do not see any issue with the way they are doing it. As people live longer we may well see more of inheritance skipping generations as the children will already be well set up and even close to retirement themselves.

onomatopoeia99

It's their money, they can do what they want with it.

That said, I would not do what they have done.  I'd look at each child and ensure that their family got the same in total, so, brother 1 gets half, brother 2 a sixth, his children 1 and 2  a sixth each.

gothvixen

If you did have a child, they would split it between 5 and you'd be down to 20%. You aren't receiving less than your brother and should be grateful for whatever they leave you.

Ian_Kelsey

Grumbling over not getting as much money out of your parents as you'd like when they're dead. Nice! 

Lancsbreaker

My partner and I aren't married - we've only been together for 40 years or so, don't like to rush into things....

Our wills leave split the house value equally between us, with the survivor having the right to remain in the house as long as they wish, the value of it only passing to the other's will beneficiaries after sale or whatever.

Milady has decided that her estate should bypass her kids, and go to her Grandchildren - her kids are perfectly self-sufficient, so it seems sensible. The kids seem happy enough with that.

I've left my estate to my godchildren (I've no kids of my own), although as they are all better off than me by now, I may have to reconsider - its over 10 years since we did our wills so we need to revisit them anyway.

Point is, we can and should decide what happens to our money after our death, just as we could decide what to do with it when alive. And no-one should live their life planning on what they'll inherit from their parents.....