Money Moral Dilemma: Is it fair for my parents to penalise me for not having children? 25 October 2022 at 6:09PM edited 25 October 2022 at 6:11PM in Deaths, funerals & probate 176 replies 93.4K views

Trotter65

An inheritance is a nice surprise but is certainly not a foregone conclusion! Please see my post from 2 years ago below. My MIL’s will left money to her 3 grandchildren ( we have 2, my BIL has 1) which resulted in my SIL demanding that my husband give her some of his share to make sure that she got the third share she felt that she was ‘entitled’ to!

2 years on still no contact with her but our children have both managed to use their inheritance as deposits on  a 1 bed flat each. Which is exactly what my MIL wanted! My SIL’s argument was that our children would inherit her estate on her death but what use is that to them in 25- 30 years time!

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6195796/family-dispute-over-mother-in-laws-will/p1

YoungBlueEyes

Gers said:

I knew that I recognised this moral dilemma from this board ages ago:

Here it is. Be warned, it's fairly long and got quite heated.

I’ve just reread that thread. I wonder what happened to her?

crmism

I sympathise with your views. In an already overcrowded planet, people must act responsibly, and your parents are most certainly treating you unfairly. I would like to think that your nephews/neices will agree to have the wills rewritten (which they can do quite easily) so that your entitlement is given its proper place.

Malthusian

YoungBlueEyes said:

Gers said:

I knew that I recognised this moral dilemma from this board ages ago:

Here it is. Be warned, it's fairly long and got quite heated.

I’ve just reread that thread. I wonder what happened to her?

I imagine she got her money and enjoyed not one bit of it.
I was thinking about the same person. She would have to be a glutton for punishment to come back to the same peanut gallery with the same question two years later when she already knew that the reaction would be overwhelmingly negative. Stranger things have happened. But there are 70 million people in the UK and it is more likely to be a different person with the same outlook.

bobster2

crmism said:

I sympathise with your views. In an already overcrowded planet, people must act responsibly, and your parents are most certainly treating you unfairly. I would like to think that your nephews/neices will agree to have the wills rewritten (which they can do quite easily) so that your entitlement is given its proper place.

Why do people write about issues like this in these terms?

We can discuss the morality but it is not up to the nephews/nieces to agree to anything - the person writing the will decides what goes in the will. Yes - after someone dies as beneficiaries they could be asked to agree to a Deed of Variation (if over 18). But it's up to the parents what goes in their wills now - and they don't need to even show any family members let alone get their agreement about who will be a beneficiary.  Second - there is no "entitlement" here.

Peterrr

Given you have no kids, presumably you have no great desire to leave an estate upon your death and intend to spend every penny - including anything you yourself may have inherited. You should therefore be encouraging your parents to spend their money in a similar fashion and head off on a world cruise.