Money Moral Dilemma: Is it fair for my parents to penalise me for not having children? 25 October 2022 at 6:09PM edited 25 October 2022 at 6:11PM in Deaths, funerals & probate 176 replies 93.4K views

skull

On the one hand it is your parent's money to do with as they wish; but, have they, or you, considered that you may yet have children of your own at some future date, or adopt, or have stepchildren? Perhaps you could suggest that they word their wills to the effect that any grandchildren of yours or your brothers get equal shares as well as you and your brother, if that makes sense. Otherwise as others have said they could leave it to the cats home, donkey sanctuary, whatever.

kdevans

this happened to me - my mother left everything to my sister and her kids.  both me and my brother would receive nothing even if we had had kids after the will was written.  things like this  really splits families.  no good came to her though - she died soon after my mother so what goes around comes around.  I used to look after my mother (cleaning etc) my sister did nothing.  shows how much i was appreciated in the end.  hope they are both nice and warm where they are now!!

thisNameIsTaken

It could've been worse — they could've divided it equally between your brother, kids and their local chapter of morris dancers.

Unfortunately for you, it's their money and their choice what they do with it.

Look at it this way... your brother is at a net loss with those expensive kids!

Melbuckton

If you love your kids equally and there are two  then any money should be shared equally. Just because one decided they didn't want to marry shouldn't be used to steal half their inheritance.

Evanescenceclueless

As others have said, your parents love family equally. This translates to 4 people. Your brothers children will probably have their share held in trust until they're adults. 

This means 25% each. If your brother has a wife/partner she will have nothing unless your brother shares his share with her. If anything he's the one that would lose out in that case.

I would really take a good look at yourself and if you did nt want to come across as ungrateful, I would not say anything. They could be giving all the the dogs trust if they wanted to. 

bradavon

No. I'd be miffed too.

What if you have children later? They'd miss out. What if your brother has more children?

Not everyone wants children and nor should they feel obliged. It's a rather outdated view to assume everyone should be in a relationship and/or family. Thousands of people live all sorts of alternative and fulfilling lives which involve neither.

Even the word family = children is outdated.

But I agree other than politely airing your views, that's all you can do. It's their money.

killerferret666

Short sighted on the parents with that detail. Going to be a headache when the brother has kid number 3 and that one gets sweet FA.

Airalan

We are in our 80s. One of our sons has two children and one has three. They both think it is completely fair that any gifts/legacies are split equally between the two of them. You don’t know what is going to happen in the future. The child without children might be permanently incapacitated. Better not to try to play God

LP53

It seems fair that it should be divided by the four of you as that’s your parents wish and to me seems the right thing to do and  It’s what I would do under the same circumstances.
Theres four individuals not two.
It surprises me that you would think otherwise.

Only you know your parents and are they fair people generally? I’m sure they are and love you all equally and want everyone to benefit.
your brothers not gaining anything it’s for his children.

John_Gray

You should disown your parents immediately - or remind them, in the words of the old saying, that "you will be choosing their care home"...