EXTENDED: You've got another week to add your travel & holiday deals questions for expert MSE Oli as part of the latest Ask An Expert event.

Money Moral Dilemma: Is it fair for my parents to penalise me for not having children?

edited 25 October 2022 at 6:11PM in Deaths, funerals & probate
176 replies 93.4K views


  • skullskull Forumite
    48 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    On the one hand it is your parent's money to do with as they wish; but, have they, or you, considered that you may yet have children of your own at some future date, or adopt, or have stepchildren? Perhaps you could suggest that they word their wills to the effect that any grandchildren of yours or your brothers get equal shares as well as you and your brother, if that makes sense. Otherwise as others have said they could leave it to the cats home, donkey sanctuary, whatever.
  • thisNameIsTakenthisNameIsTaken Forumite
    6 Posts
    Part of the Furniture First Post Combo Breaker
    It could've been worse — they could've divided it equally between your brother, kids and their local chapter of morris dancers.

    Unfortunately for you, it's their money and their choice what they do with it.

    Look at it this way... your brother is at a net loss with those expensive kids!
  • EvanescencecluelessEvanescenceclueless Forumite
    10 Posts
    Part of the Furniture First Post Combo Breaker
    As others have said, your parents love family equally. This translates to 4 people. Your brothers children will probably have their share held in trust until they're adults. 

    This means 25% each. If your brother has a wife/partner she will have nothing unless your brother shares his share with her. If anything he's the one that would lose out in that case.

    I would really take a good look at yourself and if you did nt want to come across as ungrateful, I would not say anything. They could be giving all the the dogs trust if they wanted to. 

  • killerferret666killerferret666 Forumite
    47 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Short sighted on the parents with that detail. Going to be a headache when the brother has kid number 3 and that one gets sweet FA.
  • AiralanAiralan Forumite
    3 Posts
    Third Anniversary First Post
    We are in our 80s. One of our sons has two children and one has three. They both think it is completely fair that any gifts/legacies are split equally between the two of them. You don’t know what is going to happen in the future. The child without children might be permanently incapacitated. Better not to try to play God
  • LP53LP53 Forumite
    19 Posts
    Second Anniversary 10 Posts
    It seems fair that it should be divided by the four of you as that’s your parents wish and to me seems the right thing to do and  It’s what I would do under the same circumstances.
    Theres four individuals not two.
    It surprises me that you would think otherwise.
    Only you know your parents and are they fair people generally? I’m sure they are and love you all equally and want everyone to benefit.
    your brothers not gaining anything it’s for his children.
  • John_GrayJohn_Gray Forumite
    5.8K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    You should disown your parents immediately - or remind them, in the words of the old saying, that "you will be choosing their care home"...
Sign In or Register to comment.
Latest MSE News and Guides

Energy Price Cap change

Martin Lewis on what it means for you

MSE News

Best £1 you've ever spent?

Share your most impressive bargains

MSE Forum