Feels like im going under!

NiteEyez1980

Makingabobor2 said:

Agree with @EssexHebridean comment....you tell them what you can afford to pay, not what they ask for. And also, if they ask you to send an Income & Expenditure form,  you tweak it to show what you want, so you know you have a bit more than enough for all your outgoings etc and the emergency fund. 

So If I get asked for  the income and expenditure form I put what it is now or what I want it to be, apologise for the confusion 

kimwp

NiteEyez1980 said:

Makingabobor2 said:

Agree with @EssexHebridean comment....you tell them what you can afford to pay, not what they ask for. And also, if they ask you to send an Income & Expenditure form,  you tweak it to show what you want, so you know you have a bit more than enough for all your outgoings etc and the emergency fund. 

So If I get asked for  the income and expenditure form I put what it is now or what I want it to be, apologise for the confusion 

Don't worry, it can be a bit confusing. For now, just write to tell them that they can only correspond with you in writing. 

When they have defaulted the account, then at that point engage with them about how much you will pay them. It will be whatever you can afford while allowing yourself reasonable money for essentials and an emergency fund and a bit of flex. Realistically, I think it will be a token amount until your family income increases or expenses reduce, but we can help you figure that out (better still, start a diary on here, I think it will help to have the support)

If you engage with them on income and expenditure etc before getting defaulted, there is a risk that they will try to help you with a payment break or reduced payments or similar. These may result in arrangement to pay markers, which will stay on your record longer than than a default and may not stop the interest being charged. It sounds counter- intuitive and if you are worried, you'll want to reach an agreement as soon as possible, but it's actually better in the long run to not engage with them because you'll get a default sooner.

kimwp

Having said the above, let's start thinking about your income and expenditure...

You put the SOA together previously, apologies but I can't remember where this got to. If it's not got a year's worth of accurate expenses, I think that is your first step - and also a good step to really understanding your finances. 

NiteEyez1980

kimwp said:

NiteEyez1980 said:

Makingabobor2 said:

Agree with @EssexHebridean comment....you tell them what you can afford to pay, not what they ask for. And also, if they ask you to send an Income & Expenditure form,  you tweak it to show what you want, so you know you have a bit more than enough for all your outgoings etc and the emergency fund. 

So If I get asked for  the income and expenditure form I put what it is now or what I want it to be, apologise for the confusion 

Don't worry, it can be a bit confusing. For now, just write to tell them that they can only correspond with you in writing. 

When they have defaulted the account, then at that point engage with them about how much you will pay them. It will be whatever you can afford while allowing yourself reasonable money for essentials and an emergency fund and a bit of flex. Realistically, I think it will be a token amount until your family income increases or expenses reduce, but we can help you figure that out (better still, start a diary on here, I think it will help to have the support)

If you engage with them on income and expenditure etc before getting defaulted, there is a risk that they will try to help you with a payment break or reduced payments or similar. These may result in arrangement to pay markers, which will stay on your record longer than than a default and may not stop the interest being charged. It sounds counter- intuitive and if you are worried, you'll want to reach an agreement as soon as possible, but it's actually better in the long run to not engage with them because you'll get a default sooner.

Thank you

So in effect do I litetally write and say do not engage in anything else other than writing /email

Do I even acknowledge the Mon payment? 

sammyjammy

I wouldn't write to them at all, even if you write to say only contact me in writing its unlikely they will all comply.  If calls start coming through make a note of the number and block them so put them in your phone as Do not answer.    Once you are defaulted and ready to engage you can tell them in writing only, some companies are even letting you communicate electronically these days (catch up folks!!)

You can always google the numbers if you need to check who it was making the call.

kimwp

sammyjammy said:

I wouldn't write to them at all, even if you write to say only contact me in writing its unlikely they will all comply.  If calls start coming through make a note of the number and block them so put them in your phone as Do not answer.    Once you are defaulted and ready to engage you can tell them in writing only, some companies are even letting you communicate electronically these days (catch up folks!!)

You can always google the numbers if you need to check who it was making the call.

If you write to all and some stop calling, then it's worth doing in my opinion. But I agree with blocking numbers as well.

NiteEyez1980 said:

kimwp said:

NiteEyez1980 said:

Makingabobor2 said:

Agree with @EssexHebridean comment....you tell them what you can afford to pay, not what they ask for. And also, if they ask you to send an Income & Expenditure form,  you tweak it to show what you want, so you know you have a bit more than enough for all your outgoings etc and the emergency fund. 

So If I get asked for  the income and expenditure form I put what it is now or what I want it to be, apologise for the confusion 

Don't worry, it can be a bit confusing. For now, just write to tell them that they can only correspond with you in writing. 

When they have defaulted the account, then at that point engage with them about how much you will pay them. It will be whatever you can afford while allowing yourself reasonable money for essentials and an emergency fund and a bit of flex. Realistically, I think it will be a token amount until your family income increases or expenses reduce, but we can help you figure that out (better still, start a diary on here, I think it will help to have the support)

If you engage with them on income and expenditure etc before getting defaulted, there is a risk that they will try to help you with a payment break or reduced payments or similar. These may result in arrangement to pay markers, which will stay on your record longer than than a default and may not stop the interest being charged. It sounds counter- intuitive and if you are worried, you'll want to reach an agreement as soon as possible, but it's actually better in the long run to not engage with them because you'll get a default sooner.

Thank you

So in effect do I litetally write and say do not engage in anything else other than writing /email

Do I even acknowledge the Mon payment? 

Yes.

No (I think, not sure what Mon payment is). Your request for them to correspond in writing rather than calls is separate to the debt situation - anyone could change how they want to be contacted at any point, I personally wouldn't mention the debt.

NiteEyez1980

Sorry typo, non payment 

SusieT

NiteEyez1980 said:

Sorry typo, non payment 

You do not need to write to them at all. If you do answer a call just way contact in writing only and hang up then block the number. Ignoring totally is the best thing to do - if they get no joy from calling you they will have to write. 
Dont over think it, you are obviously a polite and reasonably person wanting to do the correct thing, but to them you are just a number on a spreadsheet that is not paying. Their computer will put your number in a queue that will come up in some call center and will be called. It is not a person sitting at a desk saying ooh I need to have a chat with NiteEyez1980 as they have not paid us, the same with the computer generated letters that are sent out thousands at a time. With these card issuers they will have thousands (possibly hundreds of thousands) of people in your position, hence you needing to go against your instincts and just sit back and wait for the default letter to arrive.

EssexHebridean

I wouldn't stress too much about it either way to be honest - if it feels easier to you to write and instruct them that further contact is to be by post only (You don't even need to include email as far as I know if you'd prefer to take the whole thing to a physical paper trail) then it's fine to do so, but if not, then the alternative is each time one of the companies calls you simply interrupt them as soon as they say who they are and why they are calling, instruct them clearly at that stage that you are now only willing to correspond with them in writing, that they are not to telephone you again, and that any further calls will be seen as harassment and reported accordingly. Then put the phone down. Once you have done that, note the date & time of the call, which company it was, the person's name if you caught it and the number they called from (if it was shown) then save the number to your phone with something clear like "DON'T ANSWER" in the name field (the actual company name in the company field) and block the number. 

The key thing now is to make use of your time constructively - and the most constructive thing you can do right now is to get to grips with that budget. You're right at the beginning of the month so it's the perfect time to start that spending diary if you haven't already, and really go through everything line by line to see what you can cut back on. I know we all keep "banging on" about this but that's because it really is vital - if you don't begin to make changes at that level, even though you're not making the monthly payments, you are still going to get deeper and deeper into debt month on month. 

kimwp

You should be able to mute individual numbers on your mobile which will help as well as putting "don't answer" - Google has a number of ways of doing this.