Moving on with things

alt80

Thanks all, these past few days have been very up and down. Just !!!!!! whacked as a result of trying to work, exercise, do things around the house and be present for my family when I'm really struggling with sleep again. Need to get to bed now but will respond over the coming few days.

ladyholly

There are only 24 hours in a day. You cant do everything especially if you are not sleeping well. Have a think what are the most important things you need to do and forget the rest for a while and cut down a little on your working week. You have good staff let them take some of  the strain for a while until you are less tired and have a better sleep pattern.

RelievedSheff

Agree with the above. There are only 24 hours in a day. You can't do everything!

Take care of yourself.

mark55man

you can do anything alt, you just cant do everything

Cherryfudge

Poor sleep is horrible, I hope it improves soon.

Bear in mind our conversation about coffee and any other 'mild' stimulants, including blue screen light - they may be mild but they still affect us. My husband also finds day length affects him: longest days, shortest days, even quarter days when the balance is changing. I don't know if that affects you, but we're near the longest day so there could be something in it. I also find that busy days affect me more than they should: it takes me longer to recover. That could be post-viral. Having recovered from a few injuries and illnesses myself, I now know that healing takes energy, hence increased weariness.

Could you perhaps try a reduction in work, exercise, family time and household activities - perhaps 10%, perhaps 25% - for a while and see if that feeds back in an increase in sleep or energy? Just a thought so I can't guarantee anything. Also bear in mind it may take your body a while to get past the habit of staying awake, so it's not like throwing a switch.

alt80

Thanks all. I do intend to respond properly some point soon. This past week has been very difficult - two staff on holiday which is fine but two off sick also, really been struggling with my sleep, my son's allergies massively flared up and he's been really unwell for a couple of days. At least it has been an extremely low spending week down to all of this. 

Cherryfudge

I'm sorry to hear the tough times are continuing. This time of the year a lot of people seem to suffer from allergies, and sleep issues are depleting and frustrating, so no wonder it feels like 'head down and battle on'.

I hope your staff issues ease soon. Do you have any former (retired?) staff who would like to do a few hours?

RelievedSheff

There seem to be quite a few bugs doing the rounds at the moment. We have had quite a few people off work sick as well.

Hope your son feels better soon and that you manage to get some sleep.

alt80

Not sure how we're half way through the month already. Work is busy, still getting to the gym too but I'm really !!!!!! depressed tbh. The weather has been !!!!!! terrible lately too which never helps, ha. I now have a new pro who is trying to help with getting a bit of a life back free of the panic attacks by basically forcing me to do the things that seem to trip me off. Idk whether this will sort me out or not yet, I'm trying to keep an open mind and a bit of hope it does. Still struggling with sleep either not getting enough or getting too much and can't !!!!!! face getting out of bed in the morning.

I'm just over two years clean now, this month hasn't been easy as it's my 'anniversary' month idk why but I struggle to celebrate it, shouldn't have taken me that long to get clean I suppose and the impact having to face a lot of things about my life has just tore me apart over these past few years so it's hard to celebrate the achievements and inroads I have made. Some things have been amazing in recovery tbf I didn't think my marriage would survive and spending time with my wife and son is really precious now, definitely thankful for that. I still can't stem the guilt that had I not become a !!!!!! cokehead I would likely have been in a much better position with my business and have been able to give much more to my family though. It's not being ungrateful for what I do have; I'm well aware it is more than most have and I am grateful for what I do have but it's the regret of !!!!!! up and the what ifs. I can probably count on one hand the number of weeks since Covid that I've not thought my family should have better than me. It's !!!!!! torturous and tbf no good for any of us. 

The pressure is definitely greater since my son's best friend's parents told us they are hoping their son gets into a £45k a year school, more like £55k once Labour get their grubby hands on Number 10 just for the fees. Another is planning something similar once their son is 13 so my wife tells me too. Over the past couple of weeks my son has told us he wants to go with his mate to this school and has been hitting out as we've told him no. I can't bear to tell him I can't afford it. I know so many parents are wondering how the hell they are going to keep their kids in schools like my son's rn and we are really lucky to be in the position we are in. I know I definitely can't give my son the opportunity to go to a school like that and pay off my mortgage on our home.  

At least it has been, so far, a very low spend month.

@Cherryfudge He is going to see an allergy specialist up here but I'd rather he see a London specialist. My in-laws think I'm causing a fuss about nothing but it makes him extremely fatigued. He can't go through life like this.

I used to have a couple of retired staff who would step in - the two most recent retirees have moved quite a long way from here.

@RelievedSheff This !!!!!! weather doesn't help mate, people are always ill when it's like this. 

@ladyholly / @mark55man / @RelievedSheff I say things like that to two of my staff lol tbf ikwyacf. This new pro thinks I have !!!!!! OCD and have had for a very long time idk about that but I definitely do have trouble switching off from things and am trying to look after the house as well as my business. I'd rather my wife spend time playing with our son rather than dealing with the house. 

@Cherryfudge yeah the mild stimulant mindfulness has gone out of the window these past few weeks, I know it doesn't help really and contributes to the poor sleep and it's all just a vicious circle. Idk re the longer / shorter days my sleep has been so erratic for so many years I haven't got a clue.  

@mark55man / @warby68 as paying off all the balances inches closer and especially as this month should see a good reduction I'm feeling less inclined to be dragging the additional money out of the business. It's not the most tax efficient thing to do and I could put it to better use towards pension/ mortgages/ company loans. They are all being paid but a little boost would be no bad thing and tbf would give me a bit of peace of mind if we do have a bit of a downturn. I have been working with my accountant to think a little leaner in terms of business expenses, getting rid of the dead wood in some cases with subscriptions and the like. Whilst things are by no means going pear shaped I did lose a few bits of regular work through my old friend/client who basically told everyone he could that I have a drug problem and owe money everywhere. He's not as well connected as he'd like to think but it still caused a bit of damage to a small but quite profitable and reliable part of our revenue. I did want to save the £50k personally but on reflection I do not see that it would be the best use of my money either. It would work quite well if I were to start taking dividends on a quarterly basis which would be easier if I were able to build a 3 month personal float. Still undecided rn.

Regarding the mortgage on my home, I would still like to get it paid off. With rates as they are I think there may be something in potentially just getting it all onto I/O and throwing the money into the pension to drag it out tax free later on in life. I think I could do that but need to speak to the SSAS man.

@katsu ha you've put another thing on my list, tbf my SSAS man will know.

stymied

Perhaps if you do tell your son about the cost of the school and budgeting it will knock on the head his thoughts about not working for a living in the future? Could you do some family therapy re the hitting out / sense of entitlement? Sounds like he’s a great kid most of the time but those aspects must get quite frustrating. Having said that all children have frustrating aspects!!!