Moving on with things

alt80

Today has been tough but I've got through the working day and went to the gym. Been mindful about food, no coffee after lunch, just 2 today in total and no alcohol. Drinking the sleep tea before bed, have it pretty much every night so make of that what you will haha. Aiming for no spending tomorrow and after a bit of reflection I'm going to have a few weeks (at least) off alcohol and being mindful about caffeine.

@Cherryfudge It is still a nice amount. I really did want to get under £10k this month, I know it's arbitrary and doesn't really matter. We're all on our own journeys re debt payoff / business etc.

Ha I spend more than that on coffee most days, you can't get a coffee around here for under about £3.75. Idk, I do like the idea of saving it or at least some of it tbf now you mention it. Sometimes I buy coffee out of pure lethargy, other times I do enjoy making it myself. I definitely don't drink 11 coffees a day on the regular these days, it was something I used to do on the regular, !!!!!! mental really. I didn't really attribute something as benign as caffeine to spikes in anxiety etc. but I know it can. Felt !!!!!! terrible today, tbf no sleep and I was a bit hungover - not the best way to start the week.

Can't say I've ever thought of coffee in that way but I've had a few weeks struggling with sleep since we were ill. Wife / son recovered fairly quickly but I ended up with it causing a sinus flare up, still not 100% and tbh when my sleep is particularly poor I crave the stimulants. These days it's just coffee/ energy drinks etc. I'm not going to jeopardise everything and I have a long inventory to stay on the right path but I have never thought about it with the more benign stimulants.

Thank you, idk about a strength of character, ha. I've had a LOT of help from pros and family, owe my life to them tbh. I can't really put into words how grateful I am to both the pros and family, especially my wife. Always have been quite self reflective, it can drive positive results and has in the past, business mainly. but isn't so useful when I'm really struggling with self worth. Tbt I haven't been see significant growth in business for quite some years, not since my mid-thirties really. Since then it's more or less been steady with some years better than others, generally upwards trending, so (very) slow growth. 

@RelievedSheff thank you, as much as I can't see myself as being (unsecured) debt free, I can't !!!!!! wait. Probably sounds a bit silly but I'm so proud of my wife and I, sorting our personal finances out, it's been and is still hard. I do sometimes order / make decaff just not regularly.

ladyholly

alt80 said:

@RelievedSheff thank you, as much as I can't see myself as being (unsecured) debt free, I can't !!!!!! wait. Probably sounds a bit silly but I'm so proud of my wife and I, sorting our personal finances out, it's been and is still hard. I do sometimes order / make decaff just not regularly.

Being proud of your achievements doesnt sound silly at all. Going from where you were to where you are now is a huge change of mindset and both you and Mrs alt should feel proud.

RelievedSheff

Not silly at all being proud of what you have achieved. 

You have all come such a long way as a family. You have every right to be proud of that.

enthusiasticsaver

You may have had support and a big shovel in the form of high income  but you did the hard work so never under estimate your achievement so far. There will be collective cheers on this forum when you reach the debt free mark as you have come so far. I am with you on not drinking lots of coffee. That and alcohol disturbs my sleep and long walks help it. A 13 -14 miler today so hopefully I will be sleeping like a baby tonight. 

Willowtree222

I agree about being proud. You should celebrate your achievements. 

You've both come so far and it sounds like you're both stronger as a result of it. 

FootyFanDan

you have both come so far since the very start of your journey, it is absolutely something you should be proud of.

katsu

@alt80 what about life cover through your work. I worked in a small company where I helped arrange it and you didn't need underwriting for sub 200k so you might be able to get a broker to help you do a policy for the business (I think it's much better value to offer it as a work benefit for all employees and it's very good value at x pence per 1k of salary. It's usually offered as a salary multiple eg 4x salary so your lower salary high dividend might complicate it but I'm just thinking you could offer a good employee benefit and get some cover for you, albeit at a lower total value, without needing any questionnaires and so not needing to declare any of your past.  Workplace group life assurance doesn't ask for Individual assessment.  The only time I had to deal with some kind of underwriting was for employees with I think salaries at some level like 200k. 

Might be worth looking into as it was really quite simple. 

mark55man

well done on getting to the home straight alt - my last 6 months were a bit like yours not quite going as quick as I wanted - and tempted to do the silly things to meet targets which are important,  but not as important as the journey as a whole.  

I think I said right at the beginning of your journey is that the challenge with long term debt repayment is monotony - so if you have taken your foot off a little then don't beat yourself up you obviously needed it.  Just don't go wild again!!

Also you do need to think how it will feel to not have this target, if you are running full speed towards what's going to happen when you hit your debt free date - apart from a big smile - so you need to start thinking about your plans for the money - ie save it, go Mortgage free, go pension.  Spend it is also an allowable option.  For me I did all of the above and that is OK.  May not be optimal but usually better than going hell for leather at the wrong target.  Psychologically as well it may be challenging to have this different more complex set of targets, but don't let that worry you - you've shown your strength but the above is not a last minute thing, you need to have chewed it over a bit before your get there

well done though - especially how your work life balance is now much more satisfying

warby68

I agree with all that @mark55man said. I'd be wary of 'cliff edge' moments I think in your shoes. No reason not to start mixing debt repayment with some savings or indeed spending towards the end and establishing new destinations for the money ( if its interest free or very low interest of course). The sudden appearance of an extra £2k per month with no pre-planned use could be a bit disruptive to your hard won thought processes.

mark55man

thanks Warby68.  I think your last sentence is very true!!