In my 30s and in London - what do I do?

pinkshoes

Ultimately what you want and what is affordable are NOT the same thing so something needs to change.

You are never going to settle elsewhere if you keep thinking about you want.

If you WANT London then you are going to have to change career or take steps to earn much more! Even teachers in London earn more than you!

If you like your job then stop thinking about London life and get involved where you are now. If you look hard enough for people your age with common interests you will find then.

Try kick boxing - lots of men in their 30s in my class. Joint a local sports group - casual footy or something??

A location is what you make of it, but if you don't give it a proper chance you will never settle.

I've lived in 10 different areas, and always managed to meet people. The loneliest place I found was living in a city!

london21

You have great suggestions here.

London is expensive to get a 1 bedroom without sharing.

Your money will stretch further  outside London.

In Asia might have the same issue.

jj_43

It can be difficult changing career, but I am sure you have a lot of transferable skills from being in the charity sector. Perhaps approach it from a difference perspective, what you like to be doing in 5 years and have plans in place for that.

Altior

You will likely grow out of wanting to be in London pretty soon. tbh I'm surprised @ 35 you're still keen. It really isn't worth taking up the majority of your salary. I still had roots in London when I moved out, but it's a lot cheaper commuting for leisure/recreation, and staying over for the night if needed, than living there. Find a place you want to live, that is in your budget, and look for a job that is commutable from that place, and London is commutable from that place would be my suggestion. 

[Deleted User]

The blunt truth is that for people in your situation, the only real hope is to inherit money to use as a deposit.

[Deleted User]

Altior said:

You will likely grow out of wanting to be in London pretty soon. tbh I'm surprised @ 35 you're still keen. It really isn't worth taking up the majority of your salary. I still had roots in London when I moved out, but it's a lot cheaper commuting for leisure/recreation, and staying over for the night if needed, than living there. Find a place you want to live, that is in your budget, and look for a job that is commutable from that place, and London is commutable from that place would be my suggestion. 

Thanks. That's what I've done. I got a flat in Norwich and commute to London two days a week. The train costs are sickening and it's a dreadfully lonely life where I feel that I am neither in one place or the other. 

theoretica

Another option would be to look throughout the UK at where might combine jobs, more affordable housing than London and a social life that appeals.  Glasgow?  Manchester?

[Deleted User]

theoretica said:

Another option would be to look throughout the UK at where might combine jobs, more affordable housing than London and a social life that appeals.  Glasgow?  Manchester?

Thanks. Yes I've been considering Glasgow. I have no desire to live there and would resent having to move away from my family and friends to live in a city I have no interest in, but it seems like this is the kind of choice that people have to make if they are from the southeast and aren't wealthy. 

zagubov

In my last workplace (in inner London) the staff were mainly recruited from all over England and beyond. They came to start work in their mid-20s and invariably left for promoted posts in the midlands and points north when they were getting married and starting families.
It didn't cross their minds at all to stay here and raise a family. It was always obvious to them that London's not set up for that.
Just about every other big city's got all you need. Even some small cities have it.
Can I please ask, what is it that's stopping you from exploring other more affordable and liveable cities?

[Deleted User]

zagubov said:

In my last workplace (in inner London) the staff were mainly recruited from all over England and beyond. They came to start work in their mid-20s and invariably left for promoted posts in the midlands and points north when they were getting married and starting families.
It didn't cross their minds at all to stay here and raise a family. It was always obvious to them that London's not set up for that.
Just about every other big city's got all you need. Even some small cities have it.
Can I please ask, what is it that's stopping you from exploring other more affordable and liveable cities?

I live in Norwich. I moved there because I couldn't afford to live in London or anywhere near London. I'm miserable in Norwich because all of my friends and family are in or near London. I don't know why I go to work for 5 days a week to sit in a flat in a city I don't want to be in, hundreds of miles away from my friends and family. 

I understand the situation. A generation has been hung out to dry by the one above it.