In my 30s and in London - what do I do?

london21

A lot of people in their 30's in London are house sharing especially as the bills are going through the roof.

To be able to rent without sharing would have to increase your income otherwise majority of your income will be going on rent and bills.

Areas around London that are a bit cheaper might not be desirable for example Croydon, Belvedere, Dagenham etc.

If you are considering Asia maybe look into the option for a change of environment, culture etc.

spoovy

[Deleted User] said:

GixerKate said:

Ok, so you are not happy where you are so you need to make a change.  Can I ask, if your friends and family are in and around London and the main reason you are unhappy is because you miss them, why do you want to move further away?

What about moving to the outskirts of London?  Can rent flats for around £1k, you will be in easy reach of London and all the socialising it entails and presumably close to family and friends.

Also, what about looking at promotion or changing jobs?  The job market in general is very active at the moment, have you thought about changing where you work? 

I would also look at finding people who enjoy the same hobbies as you whether that be the lycra-loving cyclists, hockey, tennis or crochet, there is bound to be something nearby.  I'm pretty sure I've met most of my friends through hobbies than anything else!

Good question. You're right that moving abroad will not solve the issue of missing friends and family. I think the main motivation behind that idea is that 'at least it would be exciting'. Moving to other UK cities with fewer jobs and less in the way of culture is not something I find very appealing. 

I am used to travelling alone and although I would likely miss the UK at points, the excitement of living and working in Asia would be fresh and interesting. Also, I think I'd have a better quality of life in most other countries. Personally, I think the UK has stagnated as a country and I feel that despite having an expensive degree and almost 15 years of work under my belt, I don't have much to show for it. You still live like a student in the UK, even with a good job. I think in Asia, i'd have a much higher standard of life.

So I do feel anger at the UK for the lack of governance and the dwindling opportunities. So on one hand, it does make a lot of sense to turn my back on the country, rather than wait for improvements to happen. 

Dwindling opportunities for what though, home ownership? You'll find similar housing affordability problems all over the world at the moment, at least anywhere you'd likely want to live, and in many SE Asian countries you won't be allowed to own property at all as a foreigner.
Job opportunities depend on what field you're in I suppose but in my (tech) sector there are huge opportunities in the UK at the moment.

LeafGreen

Norwich (and Norfolk/Suffolk) is a nice area, I moved here when I was in my mid-20s which was perhaps an easier time of life to make new friends, but I'm sure it's still quite possible in your 30s.
As others have said, joining some kind of club based on your interests has got to be a good idea (what kind of things are you into?)
There is this local group http://gosocial.org.uk/ which is a social thing could be worth a look.
Or even sign up to some kind of dating site assuming you are single.

jelajelavic

Are you totally against flat sharing? That seems a fairly obvious solution to living in or close to London and not paying £1.4k a month on rent. Plus you would hopefully get to meet some new people that way. Obviously there are downsides to it, such as uncertainty, frequent moves and potential bad housemates. You can reduce that by limiting the number of people in the house share but can't eliminate the risks completely.

Or as one or two have suggested, finding a friend to rent a 2 bed with. Renting a £1.4k one bed is not the only option for London

This is only if you do want to come back to London, of course.

hazyjo

Tbh it's not a huge salary for London. As has been suggested, I'd look at trying to meet a partner, and/or retraining. If you're happy on your own and don't want a relationship, then I'd go with the retraining option. Might be worth a tough few years to gain an awful lot!

What do you do? Could you do it in a big City company that's likely to pay more?

GixerKate

[Deleted User] said:

GixerKate said:

Ok, so you are not happy where you are so you need to make a change.  Can I ask, if your friends and family are in and around London and the main reason you are unhappy is because you miss them, why do you want to move further away?

What about moving to the outskirts of London?  Can rent flats for around £1k, you will be in easy reach of London and all the socialising it entails and presumably close to family and friends.

Also, what about looking at promotion or changing jobs?  The job market in general is very active at the moment, have you thought about changing where you work? 

I would also look at finding people who enjoy the same hobbies as you whether that be the lycra-loving cyclists, hockey, tennis or crochet, there is bound to be something nearby.  I'm pretty sure I've met most of my friends through hobbies than anything else!

Good question. You're right that moving abroad will not solve the issue of missing friends and family. I think the main motivation behind that idea is that 'at least it would be exciting'. Moving to other UK cities with fewer jobs and less in the way of culture is not something I find very appealing. 

I am used to travelling alone and although I would likely miss the UK at points, the excitement of living and working in Asia would be fresh and interesting. Also, I think I'd have a better quality of life in most other countries. Personally, I think the UK has stagnated as a country and I feel that despite having an expensive degree and almost 15 years of work under my belt, I don't have much to show for it. You still live like a student in the UK, even with a good job. I think in Asia, i'd have a much higher standard of life.

So I do feel anger at the UK for the lack of governance and the dwindling opportunities. So on one hand, it does make a lot of sense to turn my back on the country, rather than wait for improvements to happen. 

What field do you work in?  I'm in the tech industry and the opportunities are great at the moment, not enough people to fill the roles and the outlook is the opposite of dwindling.

What about looking at what it would really be like if you moved to Asia - what are the hoops you will need to go through to get out there, what jobs would be available etc and at the same time have a look at the different places you could rent if you go a little further out from London.

Have you got any savings that you could put towards a deposit?  Shared Ownership is a good way to get on the property ladder if you don't have a lot of savings, there are other options out there to help a first time buyer too.  I rented a place straight out of uni, it was a tiny studio apartment but I like my own space, it wasn't in a great area but it was all mine without having to share which was the most important thing to me at the time.

[Deleted User]

jelajelavic said:

Are you totally against flat sharing? That seems a fairly obvious solution to living in or close to London and not paying £1.4k a month on rent. Plus you would hopefully get to meet some new people that way. Obviously there are downsides to it, such as uncertainty, frequent moves and potential bad housemates. You can reduce that by limiting the number of people in the house share but can't eliminate the risks completely.

Or as one or two have suggested, finding a friend to rent a 2 bed with. Renting a £1.4k one bed is not the only option for London

This is only if you do want to come back to London, of course.

I am against flat-sharing at this point I'm afraid. I've done it for 13 years and I feel that it's not healthy or socially acceptable for a man of my age to live, sleep and work out of a bedroom in a house, not to mention you'd pay 800 for a London room. 

This is really where my frustration stems from. Once you reach the end of the house-share road (typically late 20s), there is nowhere to go. Moving in with a partner is very risky. I feel there should be more options created like small, simple flats for single professionals. 

[Deleted User]

GixerKate said:

wildbilljones said:

GixerKate said:

Ok, so you are not happy where you are so you need to make a change.  Can I ask, if your friends and family are in and around London and the main reason you are unhappy is because you miss them, why do you want to move further away?

What about moving to the outskirts of London?  Can rent flats for around £1k, you will be in easy reach of London and all the socialising it entails and presumably close to family and friends.

Also, what about looking at promotion or changing jobs?  The job market in general is very active at the moment, have you thought about changing where you work? 

I would also look at finding people who enjoy the same hobbies as you whether that be the lycra-loving cyclists, hockey, tennis or crochet, there is bound to be something nearby.  I'm pretty sure I've met most of my friends through hobbies than anything else!

Good question. You're right that moving abroad will not solve the issue of missing friends and family. I think the main motivation behind that idea is that 'at least it would be exciting'. Moving to other UK cities with fewer jobs and less in the way of culture is not something I find very appealing. 

I am used to travelling alone and although I would likely miss the UK at points, the excitement of living and working in Asia would be fresh and interesting. Also, I think I'd have a better quality of life in most other countries. Personally, I think the UK has stagnated as a country and I feel that despite having an expensive degree and almost 15 years of work under my belt, I don't have much to show for it. You still live like a student in the UK, even with a good job. I think in Asia, i'd have a much higher standard of life.

So I do feel anger at the UK for the lack of governance and the dwindling opportunities. So on one hand, it does make a lot of sense to turn my back on the country, rather than wait for improvements to happen. 

What field do you work in?  I'm in the tech industry and the opportunities are great at the moment, not enough people to fill the roles and the outlook is the opposite of dwindling.

What about looking at what it would really be like if you moved to Asia - what are the hoops you will need to go through to get out there, what jobs would be available etc and at the same time have a look at the different places you could rent if you go a little further out from London.

Have you got any savings that you could put towards a deposit?  Shared Ownership is a good way to get on the property ladder if you don't have a lot of savings, there are other options out there to help a first time buyer too.  I rented a place straight out of uni, it was a tiny studio apartment but I like my own space, it wasn't in a great area but it was all mine without having to share which was the most important thing to me at the time.

I work in the charity sector and I do have a good CV. I get lots of calls about roles but unfortunately, they're very rarely over the 38-40k mark. It's hard to move sectors too as I've found I've become quite 'typecast'. 

As I've said earlier, I've never been a person that cares about making huge amounts of money. I've worked hard to get to a mid level role and I'd always envisioned that it would allow me to have a decent life in England. I've not found this to be the case yet. 

hazyjo

I used to work in the charity sector. Left in the end because, as much as I wasn't fussed about making a huge amount of money, I realised I had to if I wanted to buy on my own. Since became a legal secretary and prob earning double what I would in charity.

sheramber

Your salary will go a lot further in other parts of the UK.

It is not living in England that is the problem.  It is living in London where  housing commands a higher price than elsewhere.


If you move to Asia what will you do for a job? What are salaries like in Asia?

Presumably you would have to find a different job.

In that case you could look for a different job in a cheaper area of UK.

Living in a country full time is very different to holidaying in it.

But, if you are convinced that is the way to your happiness then carry on.

You won't know until you try.