Holding On and Letting Go 🎈

savingholmes

Sorry it's so tough. If he gets on with the boss above I'd be tempted to have a word or with HR before leaving in case there's any chance his boss could get the push. 

I have left places I felt unsupported - never mind places with active bullying.

Jessy103

Best of luck to you and Mr F x

maggiem

Good luck to you both, sounds like a good plan to me. I was made redundant at the end of September one year and didn't work again for a while. I rand the tax office in Maythe following year and actually the refund came relatively quickly, 7 days or so rather than weeks. Must admit to being pleasantly surprised! This year I thought it likely I was due a small refund, having finished paid work at the end of August. I had a refund e mail a week or so ago without me prompting HMRC and it was paid in about 5 days. Hope that is somewhat reassuring. 

beanielou

So sorry to read this.
It is be beyond the pale that people get away with unacceptable behaviour like this & it has such an impact on people's lives.
I am glad that you have a plan x

Fortune_Smiles

😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Thank you all for the support - it's very appreciated.

Mr F's company may become his client when he goes self-employed so that makes things complicated.  He also doesn't feel he wants to sour a long and good relationship because of one a*!*hole particularly when he was thinking of leaving next year anyway.

You're all right though - it's dreadful that someone can affect people's lives in this way. I believe she may have narcissistic personality disorder 😲 The quicker we get Mr F out of there the better.

Thank you for the tax info @maggiem - that's reassuring and it would make life much easier if the refund comes through quickly.

I'm feeling a lot calmer about the situation having had a sleep on it.

Onwards and upwards...

Fortune x

VintageHistorian

Sorry to hear Mr FS has felt the need to jump early, but it's better than him working himself into a period of sickness.

Perhaps there's a more delicate way of explaining why he wants to leave without burning any bridges. Such as "I disagree with the management style" or "I feel the culture has changed and becoming self-employed means I can still work effectively for the company without this as a distraction".

Fortune_Smiles

VintageHistorian said:

Sorry to hear Mr FS has felt the need to jump early, but it's better than him working himself into a period of sickness.

Perhaps there's a more delicate way of explaining why he wants to leave without burning any bridges. Such as "I disagree with the management style" or "I feel the culture has changed and becoming self-employed means I can still work effectively for the company without this as a distraction".

Thank you for your support VH.  I'm afraid any feedback, no matter how delicately put, would be pouring fuel on the fire.  However, we have a plan and there are lots of positives in it.  Plus, I have everything I've learned on this site in my toolkit 😁

Hope everything is going well with you and the family.

Fortune x

Fortune_Smiles

Trying 🥱

It's been a trying day.  Having formulated a plan we started putting it into action:

• contacted Mr F's current work pension to find out the process for drawing it down when the time comes (we don't want to start it until he completes his notice period as we want to take advantage of his employer's contributions during that time).  After waiting a very long time in the telephone queue we got through to someone who told us we need to make an appointment to speak to a specialist team and they don't have any availability until next week 😲  Mr F is away for the first few days of availability so we have booked an appointment for two weeks time 😲
• also contacted Mr F's previous work pension and after waiting in several telephone queues and speaking to several people we finally go through to the person who could help us and then... got cut off 😲  Fortunately the lady concerned called us back, despite it being past her office hours, and spent 45 minutes with us going through the process of drawing down.  We can expect the lump sum in 20 days 😲
• crystalised two of my small pensions and was able to do this on-line in about 20 minutes 😁  Unless they decide they need proof of id, the money should be in the account shortly 😁

As soon as the money arrives we will pay it off the mortgage.  I worked out today that if we pay off the outstanding amount now, instead of continuing payments for the remainder of the fixed rate term, we will save about £1000 in interest despite the penalty for ending the fixed rate early 🥳  There will still be about £8000 outstanding after the pension sums go in which we can cover from savings but I might wait for the tax rebate to come in first.  Very exciting to be this close - it's one of the positives to come out of the situation.

I came in about £30 under on the grocery shop this week too.

Mr F has booked Thursday and Friday off work so we can go laptop shopping.  It should be the only major purchase we have to make to set him up as self-employed... I hope 😆

We're feeling much less stressed now the decision is made and we can take some action.  There's still the hurdle of Mr F handing in his notice to navigate - we think his boss will either ghost him or turn into the hulk 👹 but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Night all

Fortune x

ruby_eskimo

So sorry to hear that Mr F's workplace has turned into such a horrible place in such a short space of time and forcing you to make these decisions.  However the benefits of leaving (not only for the mental health aspect) sound great, not only allowing you to pay off the mortgage early but also giving more flexibility to some extent in your lives.

Having walked away from a very toxic and unsupportive environment myself, the relief of walking out the door for the last time is the best feeling.  Wising you all the best.

savingholmes

Good you have a joint plan and are supporting each other.