The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

I like the term 'nuances' @AntoMac, as it's a lot more forgiving and self-compassionate than 'mistakes' and I'm going to adopt that strategy, thank you. I've been awake most nights for either the entire night or until around 5.30am/6.00am as I've been having a hypomanic episode and I was just too wired to sleep unfortunately. I managed a few hours last night though, so it's getting better.

Debt clearing with no savings or better budgeting/financial management is definitely a false economy as you end up making yourself too vulnerable. And life has a habit of not sticking to the plans that we've made lol.

I'm starting to feel a bit better thanks @shell16, and I'm glad that I've finished work for the day and I can just focus on sorting out my son's study timetable for the week. I was too wiped out to do this on the weekend and at present, he's doing anything and everything that I ask of him! So I need to keep up my end of the momentum. And he starts Maths and English tuition on a Saturday morning as of this week, so I'm really happy about that. It's been an incredibly tough path that we're on, but he's finally come back round to himself and is starting to have more motivation and focus. It's so nice to see him coming out of his shell and starting to enjoy life a little more. 

I got a refund of £9.99 from Lidl for a 4 way socket extension cube that didn't work. So I sent that to the Noose PAD Pot. I miscalculated my debt payments pot and accidentally sent an extra £100 to it when my freelance income came through last night. But I'd forgotten that the direct debit had been reduced from this month for Barclaycard, so I've sent the £100 to the Noose PAD Pot as well. So the total balance is now £296.67 (29.67% of my £1,000 target).

That means that I have fully funded the MBNA payments for June and July 2023 (in case I do not have a balance transfer in place at that time), and also the Creation  payments for those two months as well. And I'm 7.84% of the way through the biggest one that I have to fund, which is two lots of £327.33 for the Barclaycard payments. I've got £703.33 left to save for the Noose PAD Pot, and to be at nearly 30% has really boosted my confidence with everything, so I'm really grateful for that.

I just need to get my cash stuffing done this evening and stick to my budget categories for the month and see if there's any leftovers each week to go into my savings challenges. My little penny challenge is coming along and I put £0.87 in there, and my son was so excited to put £0.12 in his tin that he found in his room lol. 

Keedie

I had a mini lightbulb moment!

I looked at my Barclaycard minimum payment and it's £223.96 and I realised that overpaying on Barclaycard isn't necessary anymore as I've pushed back the date that I want to balance transfer and there is enough balance available to transfer MBNA in the summer. So I've reduced this direct debit to £250 so that it's still above the minimum payment and that means I have less to save to pay these bills in June and July 2023. As £500 for two months is a lot better than £654.66 for the two months.

So I've decreased the amount I need to save from £1,000 to £845.34 and sent the £77.33 that I would have spent on my Barclaycard payment at the end of the month to the Noose PAD Pot and so the balance is now £369.34 and I'm at 43.69% saved, and I'll send £177.33 to that account each month instead of £100.

That way I have more savings to fall back on at that time, as I don't know what my actual earnings will be. So, whilst I'm earning my normal wage, I still budget £600 for debts, with the minimum payments being met for each creditor at a reduced amount and me squirreling away the rest to offset against the lower income. 

If I manage to still have any left after that 2 month period, then I'll chuck it on MBNA to reduce the remaining balance that needs to be transferred. I feel a lot better now. And having £427.33 in debt payments to worry about in June and July is much better than having to find £600... 👏🏾.

LittleMissDetermined

Yay for lightbulb moments 🙌
LMD x

Keedie

Yep! I’ve been grinning ever since. I think my son thinks I’m a bit crazy 😜. 

But he told me that he’s proud and inspired. He’s opened a Starling account and he’s loving the instant notifications and the fact that he can put money aside in different spaces. But the best bit is the virtual cards so that he doesn’t have to use his real card number online. As he was a victim of fraud and we had to close his Santander bank account that he’d opened when he was 11. And they cleaned out his monthly allowance so he’s got no money. And it wasn’t the first time he’s lost money like that. So he was really sad about it. And I gave him a little bit more allowance, but I can’t afford to pay him his allowance twice. So he’s having a lean month this month and so am I after topping him up. 

But I feel much better after having done my cash stuffing this evening and had my lightbulb 💡 moment. 

LittleMissDetermined

I'm sorry that happened to your son, it's bad enough dealing with fraud and conmen as an adult so it must be awful to be exposed to it as a child. I suppose the saving grace is that it was his allowance and not a month's salary, and he will now be more wise with card security, probably a life lesson that will help him in the future. 

Glad he's liking Starling, I had no idea about the virtual card feature, that seems such a genius thing!
LMD x

Keedie

It's been a rollercoaster @LittleMissDetermined, as he was very hurt and it made him feel very vulnerable. But he said that he has learnt his lesson about shopping online and he's happier with the virtual card feature, as he can also set it to be paid from a specific space/pot, so that it has nothing to do with his main balance. He is operating in cash at the moment and has a little bit on his card, but he's happy enough with his new account.

I'd completely forgot about my own Starling account as I love Monzo so much, but all of my subscriptions like Apple One, Disney+, Kindle Unlimited extra will now come out of a virtual card via Stirling so that I am not using my real card for recurring payments. I've been saving up to pay for some of them like Amazon Prime annually to make it cheaper.

You have to pay £5 a month to get Monzo Plus to get the same benefits like the virtual card and to maximise your rounds up by 1x, 2x or 5x the amount, that you can get in Starling for free. So to me it makes sense to have both of them, so I'm glad that I rediscovered Starling!

I've PADded £4 to the £2 challenge and coloured in two more icons, so that's very exciting. I might even be able finish that sheet before the end of June 2023 for £110 . Then I can restart it for the second half of a year and hopefully save half of that amount.

Keedie

I paid £50 to the Bank of Mum today, and I'm at 23.77% of my £6,000 debt free payments for 2023. 

My cash budgeting and cash stuffing is going well. Dealing with cash is making me more conscious of what I'm spending and I've brought a small A7 cash binder from Amazon with my different spending categories such as petrol, food shopping, household, my spending money etc, that I can easily fit in my rucksack and have with me when I'm out and about. I'd love to have Filofax Saffiano purse that can accommodate the cash wallets, but I'm not prepared to spend £40+ on a purse. So my little binder and wallets were less than half of that.

My son started his free Maths and English tuition today and he's really enjoyed it! He's even been studying without needing to be prompted. It's so nice to see him more or less coming back to his old self 🤗. He said he's happy for me to do a timetable for him to follow each week, and my sister is going to tutor him as well, so he's looking forward to it all. My little Natural Nerd is finally back and he's very happy that he's got his online lessons as well. I can finally see that when we go to Turkey in July, we'll have so much fun knowing that all of this stress is over. We just need to continue with college and sixth form applications so that he has some options in September.

Crazycatlady2

Glad to hear your son is doing ok with the study atm. My daughter just did 2 weeks of mock exams and I felt so bad for her as she seemed stressed but thinks did well….on 29th they putting on a results evening so they can experience what real results day will feel like 

sounds like saving etc going well

my husband got made redundant but had another kid to start with a 2 week break so ok. Eldest has second attempt af driving test tomorrow and if passes then him and hubby will be both car shopping….I can’t drive and I’m finding car shopping stressful 😂

Keedie

I think a results day is a great idea @Crazycatlady2, what a great school! It is hard watching them all stressed out isn't it? I hope she does well and all of her hard work pays off. 

I think my son is starting to panic a little, but I'm proud of him for taking things slowly and methodically. He seems to be getting more on top of his homework as well and starting to revise. I've got a loose plan in place to help him cover all of the material at least once so he at least has some idea of the gaps in his knowledge for some subjects. I've done a timetable for his exams, and I'm structuring his revision based on each exam paper. So he knows what is in each exam. We looked at what he knows and what he's clueless about and it seems to be scattered across different papers. So I figured if he goes into the exams with a good understanding of what is in store and he has a strength for one part of each exam, that will hopefully balance itself out.

I hope the driving test goes well. I absolutely hate shopping for cars! I don't know enough about them and there's so many unknowns with buying a used car and it makes my anxieties go through the roof. I'm on a one year medically restricted driving licence because of the bipolar, so I'm always aware that my ability to drive might be taken away, so I try to enjoy it whilst I have it. I need to get my son into some driving lessons once he's 17, and he's super excited about it. I'm secretly just very into the idea of him doing the driving so that I can relax for once 😂.

Keedie

I've put another £10 in the Noose PAD Pot and that's now at £379.49 (44.89% of my target). I also put all my loose change from the week's budget into the £2 challenge and the penny challenge, for a total of £17.50. It's nice to cross off more of those larger numbers on the penny challenge as the highest number is now £3.33. 

I had a £10 note left as well, but I didn't put it in the envelope challenge, as I'll wait and see if I need it for anything. Which means by the end of the month, I'll put the accumulated spare notes into the envelope challenge. 

I've done something very un-MSE 😬. We've booked another family holiday to Gran Canaria for 4 nights in the October half term, all inclusive. We've done the accommodation through Booking.com so I have until October to get the money together for that, as we pay on arrival, so I've set up a sinking fund for it. It's just the flight that I have to worry about for now. Not really sure about that bit, but I had a look on Hopper and there's some good deals. So I'll probably book that next month whilst I've still got my normal wages. 

I wasn't going to go on this holiday. But then I realised practically all my family is going, especially all the teenage boys and then I could see my son had some serious FOMO going on, although he pretended he didn't as we're going Turkey in July. The last time we went abroad as a family was 2019, for my dad's last holiday and my dad was so sick he flew back early. 

I'm dreading starting work today. I'm trying to see if I can reduce my hours as I'm so tired all the time. I'm still winding down my freelance work and that will be all wrapped up by the end of March 2023. But with the digital marketing course (which surprise, surprise I'm behind on) and trying to get my son exam ready, I'm just approaching burn out. I'll lose £130 a month by reducing my hours from 28 to 24 per week, and I've booked most of my annual leave already, so I guess I'll probably have to cancel some as my leave entitlement will go down 😩.

But the idea of going back to my normal working pattern, gives me hope that I can make it to the finish line in terms of leaving my job. I don't think I would survive at this pace with these hours, for a long period of time, even after the freelance and exams are out of the way, I'll still be studying my other courses. Right now, I'm too tired to function. And so I'm doing lots of things, but none of them to a good standard.