The Mental Debt Struggle...

badmemory

I think the big problem with teens is that they are so busy trying to grow up that they forget the effects of that "push" on those around them & become just a tad self centred.  Having said that I think he is right about writing a list & dealing with just one item at a time & parking does seem to be a good one.

Whilst it might just be one more stress for you to deal with the education forms, at least your son has someone to get him to at least get educated.  Just think about those poor kids who get pushed out of education & disappear & have no-one who will see that they do get educated.  Your son may not always think it but he is one of the lucky ones.

Keedie

Yes teenagers can be extremely self centred @badmemory, as they don't consider the impact of their actions on those around them. He's not a bad person, and I think being an only child makes that worse, but I won't lie, more consideration would be appreciated. I think he knows in his heart that he's lucky, in general and with regards to his educational options, but that unfortunately doesn't always translate to gratitude. 

It's really sad that some children don't get any support with their education or they miss out on opportunities to carve a better life for themselves. I'm struggling to help him understand that simply turning up for lessons isn't enough. He actually has to do independent study and keep on top of things, and that's the part he's really struggling with. He's not fully understanding what he's watching or the learning format, but it's the required independence that he can't get his around. And I'm running out of steam and patience to keep pushing him, but I know that I have to. It's going to be a long academic year...

I've found all the documents I need for the blue badge application, but the council website isn't letting me upload documents, so I will contact them tomorrow. But his list idea in terms of importance/added value was good advice.

Keedie

Disabled Freedom Pass application done and it was really long winded and draining. I don't know what will happen as I couldn't reliably answer the questions as everything fluctuates. I had to stop the form twice and come back to it as I was getting tired and confused, but at least it's done. Fingers crossed there isn't too much follow up, but my local authority is exceptionally bureaucratic, so we'll see...

I'm on the verge of running out money as I didn't do my sums properly before the end of the month, so I have to rework it all out. As I was super excited about the new ergonomic walking stick, but I forgot a few things that needs to be paid for, so it's back to the drawing board - oops!

badmemory

Always tell them about the bad days.  That is what you need passes etc for after all.

Keedie

badmemory said:

Always tell them about the bad days.  That is what you need passes etc for after all.

This is very true. I told them about my worse days and I was stunned to receive an email today to say that my application has been already and I'll get the freedom pass in 10 days! That's the swiftest communication that I have had with my council ever. I don't know what's bit them, but I am not complaining  .

LittleMissDetermined

Keedie said:

badmemory said:

Always tell them about the bad days.  That is what you need passes etc for after all.

This is very true. I told them about my worse days and I was stunned to receive an email today to say that my application has been already and I'll get the freedom pass in 10 days! That's the swiftest communication that I have had with my council ever. I don't know what's bit them, but I am not complaining  .

This is really quick, congratulations!  Our local authority isn't as on the ball.

Keedie

Thanks @LittleMissDetermined, I am really happy. I've never has such swift communication from them ever, so this is unprecedented. But I'll happily take it. I'm going to work on one item on my to do list a week, so that it doesn't get overwhelming.

Humdinger1

@Keedie you wonderful woman! Congratulations!!  You have an excellent technique; your attitude could benefit many people.  Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx 

Keedie

Thank you so much @Humdinger1, that is so so nice of you to say, I'm really touched! 🤗

I was so excited about the freedom pass yesterday, that I forgot to say that I've made my weekly PADs to the sinking funds and paid the £50 direct debit to MBNA for a total payment of £76.80 to debt and savings. The sinking funds are coming in really handy, especially using the Chase account, as having different sub-accounts that I can spend from, all linked to one card, is amazing and I can visually see how much I have for each part of my budget. It was my nephew's birthday yesterday and it made all the difference having a pot of money to buy his present from, and knowing that I will be able to afford birthdays from now on, simply by setting aside a bit each week.

I've made peace with my additional debt now, and I can see my son is trying to uphold his end of the bargain, and that's reduced a lot of the bitter feeling that I had about the situation that I am in. I'm still under enormous pressure and struggle everyday, but I'm feeling a lot more hopeful than I have dared to allow myself to be in recent months. I've paid off 12.61% of my debt since 01/08/2022 and I am feeling really proud of myself, because that's £2,797.05 gone. By the end of this month, excluding whatever I am able to accumulate and pay from my PAD Pot for debt overpayments (currently sitting at £45.50), I'll have paid off 14.67% if my figures are correct. So as Humdinger1 would say, "onwards and upwards". Have a great day everyone 😁. x

Keedie

Got some more great news today!

My son's been accepted onto the elective home education college course for 14-16 year olds, so he'll be doing maths, english language and combined science GCSE face to face and his other GCSEs via the virtual school. He's very excited about his hybrid learning and he told me today, that he's "confident about the GCSEs now" and that he's definitely "aiming for those 7s". I don't really care what he gets, as long as he gets into college, but he's so happy now and finally focussed, so I'm really happy.

He'll get 7 GCSEs in total now, and he's happy that he has a chance to get out of the house and I'm so relieved that I won't have him around me all the time and I can stop stressing about every little thing. We've got a lot of work to do, and I've been working out exactly what he needs to catch up on for the remaining 3 GCSEs he'll be doing online. All lessons are recorded with the online school, so we'll redo his whole study timetable once he's enrolled on the EHE course, and then we'll work out which online lessons he can catch live and which ones he'll do as recordings. I'll then add in catch up sessions depending on what we're doing for each week, so that I don't overload and overwhelm him.

He's very excited about it all and said that he needs to work out his outfits for college - he's excited that there's no uniform 😂!

On a financial note, I'm happy as I now only have to pay for 3 GCSE exams, so that's £520 instead of £1,027. I'll wait until he's officially enrolled before I redo the budget, but this means that I can make some overpayments and clear my debt to my mum for the family holiday in October instead of spreading it out. After that I'll be able to just concentrate on the two credit cards and the amount that I owe her for his school fees will just tick along in the background.

Oh, and I managed to put some spare change of £3.26 into my sealed pot challenge, so that's nice. The tin is getting heavier so that's exciting, and I can't wait until we open them on 27/10/2022 and I can put whatever is in there, into my holiday fund. I'm hoping that I've got close to £60, as that will pay for one of our passports, as they're £75.50 each and I've given up on asking his dad if he can help me by paying for our son's first adult passport. So the tin should come in handy in that respect.